SO . . . .
Some women go into this and get it (more frequently as this is gaining momentum and women understad submission and letting thier husbands lead. what a blessing to have it figured out from the start. Others just have easy husbands
no fair. Some of us had easy husbands but drove them over the edge . . . .
for those of you who have a submission revelution (for lack of better term) what made you decide to make the change? What made you step down and let your husband take over as head of the home?
For me I realized my marriage was a mess. I met some wonderful Godly women and thought they were nuts. but they got under my skin. God was also really working in me. He warned me that things were about to fall apart but that I was to keep my gazed fixed on him and not look to my right or left but right into his eyes. And that it would be a mess but that he would bring me to a new place of faithfulness. (and for the record when God tells you something like that duck and cover) shortly after that i found out about the relationship my dh was having with another woman. I kinda figured at that point what have I got to lose. my way certanily wasn't working. This was not making me happy. Might as well give it a go. My heart was in a tender spot and very open to trusting God. and then the rule of three kicked in (God and I have an arrangement . . .) First I attended a Bible study on Submission and then I read a book called . . . Divorce Remedy (?) and it pretty much said "if what you are doing isn't working try the complete opposite"
well alrighty then (i should point out what a control freak I am and i never even knew it until i started letting go of control, or until control was ripped from me rather.) and round three was the radio was doing quips from the book "for women only" and it backed up everything the other two things had told me, epecialy those areas i was most lacking in being a good wife. once I had really started walking in this submission thing, this group popped up and I figured if you were talking about it here it must be something powerful because this is the last place I ever thought I would see a group of women submitting to thier husbands lead.
And i think it happened at a good time for me. My marriage was in a place of transition to say the least. the perfect point for a fresh start. I literally had nothing to lose. there was nothing he could ask of me that would cost me more than I had already lost. Money? just money. give up more children? suddenly a lot easier. move away from everyone, why the heck not. My marriage had tanked, what else did I have. would it kill me to give it a year and let go to save it? we have literally had to start over. i have had to submit in some really big areas and God has really been walking me through it. some areas he made it so easy. things I htought i could never let go of. Someone on MDC once said very wiselt "Is this the hill you want to die on?" It puts my wants and whatnot in beter perspective. When I feel that controling self creeping up I ask myself "is this worth my marriage?" Sometimes it is (such as inappropriate relationships with women and I make no apologies for being controling and untrusting in this area) an somtimes it isn't. Sometimes something seems important but not worth the price/risk. Things are still fragile and progrssing i think. At least they have a chance now. I least i can say I have tried everything to save my marriage.
anyway, I spent 10 years interpreting the scriptures to say what i wanted them to mean. It didn't work out for me. So i thought I would take them at face value and see how that works for me. (the Dr. phil method
) It seems to be saving and improving mariages everywhere. Might as well give it a spin. His ersponse has been funny. He hasn't taken advantage of it or tested my commitment to submission. He feels pretty bad and usually gives me my way. He did put his foot down once. It was funny. you could tell he was challeneging me in this submission thing. It was almost funny It wasn't something I minded giving up so much. I was realy mad about it but in the end he was right. I was to mad to see it at the time (i was mad at someone else and was going to send them a scathing - at least in my opinion - letter. having calmed down and re-read it I think it would have only served to embarass me and make me the butt of her jokes. at best. now I can do it in a much better frame of mind, and in way much more honoring to Christ)
through this all the best thing that has come out of it is I am often called to examine my motivations. whay am I mad at DH? why did i want his or that? Is this what is important or do I just want to win? Everything abuot submitting calls you to a closer more Godly walk because you are no longer serving your flesh. Your goal is to submit your will in order to allow your dh to rise to his God given potential (which through a different avenue will cause women to rise to thiers). It is also womens calling tobe the peace bringers. I love that. I can imagine a mans walk is harder. But maybe it just seems that way beause they think and respond so differently. They way they are called to love thier wife is huge. I wouldn't trade places. not for anything.
I don;t feel controlled. he can't make me do anything. I chose to follow. I choose to submit each and every time. It has also motivated me to lok at things from his perspective which helps us come up with things mutually satisfying more than when I wasn't submitting (because I didn't care what he wanted). its ben an intresting ride.
it has been almost a year now. The pile of crap that is our marriage hasn't collapsed yet. Thats good. Thats better than I thought we would have had. better than we deserve. Not as good as I hoped. we are in counseling and that is a huge step. I have been praying for that for years. I haven't lost anything. I don't feel like this submission things has come back to bite be in the butt and that is good. I think I can give it another year
see what happenes.