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#2 Biblical Marriage/Wife Submission Thread - Page 10

post #181 of 587
ok wise mamas . . . .

I bought something for my chidlren (ok this is a trivial matter in and of itself but speaks to a larger heart issue) without asking dh. It was money my dad had given me to spend on them. The reason i didn't ask my dh is because I knew he wouldn't care once it was in the house but would probably ask me not to get it if I asked first : Ok so you see teh issue. i knew he wuldn't ask me to return it. he had given me permission to spend the money however I wanted even after i insisted I would harbor no ill will if we usd it for bills. So technically I didn't have to run it by him even though I knew he wouldn't be thrilled about having somethingt his large in the house (its a mini tramp : which by the ay my kids loooooooove, which my baby just jumped off the couch , onto, while eating a cheese roll, so many infractions so little motivation to teach today). All this to say, ask whatever,

was I making excuses not to submit? w as I taking advantage of a loop hole? I mean I know my dh doesn't truely care either way and this is a very small thing but suppose it was something bigger . . . i truely believe the little things are training for the big things. remain faithful in little things and you'll remain faithful in the big oens but screw up the little ones without repentance and you'll screw up the big ones without repentance.
post #182 of 587
lilyka,I don't think it is much of an issue personally. If he says to you that it's too big for inside the house then respect his wishes and move it outside or the garage,etc.
I think your conscious is in fine working order myself,and you wouldn't allow a bigger issue to usurp his God-given authority in your home. You simply wouldn't purchase or whatever something he was vehemently opposed to.
Your commitment to your dh is obvious in your posts.
Love,
Kim
post #183 of 587
Quote:
Originally Posted by DebraBaker
Some of you who are whining about "those other threads" here had the audacity to go over to "those other threads" (causing one of them to be shut down by the moderators) while we (in general) have the decency to leave you all alone.

You question my faith which is offensive.

I used to go to a church that taught submissive wives.

I swallowed it hook, line, and sinker, because I was taught it was *G-d's* will. I would do anything if it is G-d's will.

Let me tell you, these people were generally sweet and kind Christians but, as the saying goes, absolute power corrupts absolutely. I could regale you with stories but I will spare you, suffice to say there was abuse (nothing spectacular but mild cronic ongoing abuse.)

Now, whenever I get a "G-d's will" teaching that goes against my heart and my G-d-given common sense I will explore that issue in depth.

So far, the major issues for me are the "Rod verses", "Submission," and "Tithing."

In my humble opinion, scriptures have been twisted and common sense effaced in order for (in my opinion) self serving pastors to gain and hold an unhealthy ammount of power to themselves.

I will likely unsub from this thread out of respect for the poor, dear, overworked moderators.

Debra Baker
I am sorry that you have had bad experiences in real life.
post #184 of 587
Quote:
Originally Posted by laralou
Oops, didn't read the last page before posting. Please remember that discussing other threads is against the UA. I also want to remind everyone that if someone does come here posting in a non-supportive manner, please please please do not respond. Ignore and hit the report post button. Responding leads to thread closures as we have witnessed many times in this forum. I wasn't present for the closing of the other thread as I am just getting back oin my feet from several days of the stomach flu for my whole family, so I still don't know exactly what happened. I do know that if we practice self control we can avoid thread closure here.
:

I will try to refrain from responding.

I fight the urge to make other people understand. I honestly am not ever trying to make a fight.

Please forgive me for making your job as a mod more difficult. I will try very hard to not respond next time.
post #185 of 587
Quote:
Originally Posted by laralou
Mostly it comes down to respecting his judgement, and while offering my advice, not telling him what to do or doing things behind his back. For example, when kitty got sick (right in the middle of our stomach flu), he said we didn't have the money to take her to emergency care. My first instinct was to defy him and take her, running up a huge bill. It would have been a big fight because we really don't have $500-$1000 to spend on a weekend vet er visit and that is what it would have run (I checked later). I had to stop and pray and trust dh's judgement. Well, he didn't just say we can't take her in and watch her suffer. He checked her all over, found bad drainage in her ear, cleaned it out, called around to find an animal coop and went to get meds the next morning to treat her ear infection. She is much better now. If I had pushed ahead, we would have huge bills and a big fight. Now we have a better kitty and none of those.

Another example, I posted awhile ago that I had really taken over Christmas. I had earned some money and was buying things left and right without discussing it with dh. Now in my defense, I bought doll clothes, books, and clothes for the kids, not a bunch of junk. But what dh saw was that I wasn't talking over my purchases with him. We weren't sticking to a budget or a plan of any sort. He felt totally left out of the decision making process. If I had sat down and told him what I wanted to buy and that I had the money to do it, it would have saved us a lot of tension and a big fight. He still would have agreed to it, but he would have felt involved and respected instead of out of the loop- how he felt at the time.

Here is what submission doesn't meant to me: It doesn't mean accepting abuse towards myself or my children (verbal, emotional or physical). It doesn't mean that I don't have an opinion or share it when I feel it is needed. It doesn't mean that he is the dictator of our home.

If I disagree with dh, I tell him. Submission means that I do it in a way that is respectful. I.e. I don't do it in front of others. I don't do it in the heat of the moment. I don't attack him or question his intent to do what is best for the family. I wait until we are in private and things are calm, then I tell him I know he loves our family and wants what is best, but I disagree that _________ is the best choice, because ________________________.

He is not the dictator. He is the head. The head has to listen to the rest of the body in order to function properly.

I am a work in process. I am by no means the poster girl for submission, but I am trying to have a more Godly home and part of that is doing what I feel God has commanded of me in the Bible.

I used to have an excellent book on Christians married to non-Christian spouses. It was basically a treatise on winning them over with love and respect. I think we can adapt that same attitudes when our husbands aren't being the most Godly men they can be. We don't bark back at them. We willingly give ourselves over in love and respect in the example Jesus set for all humans, men and women. God is powerful, but he loves to work through our love to reach others.
: Thank you for your post.
post #186 of 587
Quote:
Originally Posted by oldermamato5
lilyka,I don't think it is much of an issue personally. If he says to you that it's too big for inside the house then respect his wishes and move it outside or the garage,etc.
I think your conscious is in fine working order myself,and you wouldn't allow a bigger issue to usurp his God-given authority in your home. You simply wouldn't purchase or whatever something he was vehemently opposed to.
Your commitment to your dh is obvious in your posts.
Love,
Kim
I totally agree
post #187 of 587
I think my natrual consequences ar on thier way and my dh shall have so sympathy for my oncoming insanity.

make the jumping stop . . . make the jumping stop . . .make the jumping stop . . . :
post #188 of 587
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyka
I think my natrual consequences ar on thier way and my dh shall have so sympathy for my oncoming insanity.

make the jumping stop . . . make the jumping stop . . .make the jumping stop . . . :
Oh no... :
post #189 of 587
Hey since I went to the trouble of typing this out I thought you might be intrested in the a brief word study on Pauls admonission to wives in Ephesians for wives to submit to thier husbands, since the topic of what that word means in greek came up (it is most deinitely not the same as respect or honor. It is far closer to obey):

according to Strongs concordance:

wifes submit yourselves to your husbands . . .
5293 (from 5259)hoop-ot-as'-so;to subordinate; reflex. to obey:-to be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue unto (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put)in subjection (to, under), submit self unto (bolding mine)

sompared to
children obey your parents . . .
5219 (from 5259)hoop-ak-oo'-o; to hear under (as a subordinate), i.e. to listen attentively; by impl. to heed or conform to a command or athourity:- harken, to be obedient to, obey

And since they both reference 5259 . . .
hoop-o(short o symbol over the o)a prim. prep; under i.e. (with the gen.) of place (beneath), or with verbs (the angency or means, through); (with the acc.) of place (wither [underneath] or where [below])or time (when [at] :- amoung, by , from, in of under, with. in comp. it retains the same gen. aplications espec. of inferior position or condition spc. overtly or moderately.


for those of you who do know how to use a strongs concordance - and I am not making assumptions that people are idiots. I was a Biblical Studies major in college and this is the first time I have ever cracked it open and didn't know how it worked until today, also they are, i can imagine quite expensive and only have one in my possesion because we inherited it. Up until now it has been used as a booster seat. It really is quite an amazing reference - anyway. . . . You look it up a word like submit in the concordance part just like youwould your NIV concordance (I blieve most strongs are concorded (word?) to the KJV So when you find the verse it gives you the reference for where to find it in the Word (just like any concordance) but then also a number. That number coorosponds to the original greek word. then you go to the Greek dictionary and find that number. under that number will be the greek word in two different writings (??), English pronuniation (there is a word for this) and various definitions as well as numbers for the root word. ( if it is an old testement passage go to Hebrew dictionary part of course.) Thats what all the numbers mean . . .and I am sure you can probably do more with it (like use it for a booster seat . . . ) but I thought that was enough brain bending for today
post #190 of 587
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelBee
:

I will try to refrain from responding.

I fight the urge to make other people understand. I honestly am not ever trying to make a fight.

Please forgive me for making your job as a mod more difficult. I will try very hard to not respond next time.

sometimes we all have that urge....
post #191 of 587
Thank you lilyka

I have actually never used one....so thank you for going over that.
post #192 of 587
thank you laralou for your explanation.

hope it is ok if i join here! not here to cause trouble btw. i currently attend a bible college that is all about wife submission, and personally i feel that God is telling me to submit to my husband, and our marriage will be so much better.
post #193 of 587
Quote:
Originally Posted by baileyandmikey
thank you laralou for your explanation.

hope it is ok if i join here! not here to cause trouble btw. i currently attend a bible college that is all about wife submission, and personally i feel that God is telling me to submit to my husband, and our marriage will be so much better.
You are very welcomed!
post #194 of 587
Quote:
Originally Posted by baileyandmikey
hope it is ok if i join here! i feel that God is telling me to submit to my husband, and our marriage will be so much better.
Welcome!! I am so glad you are here
post #195 of 587
Has anyone seen SheBear? She was due right about now . . . .
post #196 of 587
welcome baileyand mikey
and lilyka,I *just* put down my Strongs concordance and got online.Too funny.
I think you can get one relatively cheap through Christianbook.com......is that it?( Not positive on the exact web address.) I get their homeschooling catalog all the time.
I have a beautiful quote for you mama's
The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of christian,but the fact that I am a christian does make me a different kind of woman.
For I have accepted Gods idea of me,and my whole life is an offering back to Him of all that I am,and all that He wants me to be.

Author unknown
post #197 of 587
Quote:
Originally Posted by oldermamato5
The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of christian,but the fact that I am a christian does make me a different kind of woman.
For I have accepted Gods idea of me,and my whole life is an offering back to Him of all that I am,and all that He wants me to be.

Author unknown
Beautiful!
post #198 of 587
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelBee
Beautiful!

Hey AB, empty your inbox!
post #199 of 587
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaryLLL
Hey AB, empty your inbox!
Ok
post #200 of 587
That is beautiful. So I had to look it up. Elisabeth Elliot said it. It doesn't suprise me that that those are her beutiful words.

I just bought a book by her yesterday (Through the Gates of Splendor) and saw a documentry her son did about his father and the missionaries. Amazing amazing women they were. Women who weren't scared to submit to thier husbands wildest plans. Plans that did, promptly, leave them widowed in the jungle with small children. and they suspected as much. They could have fought. They could have presented the logical arguments, the mens spiritual duty to them. but instead they submitted gloriously and with such strength and dignity. And because of it the life of a whole nation was changed. The attitudes of those women was actually the catalyst for the last couple days of me being so thoughtful about submission. Had they acted in the flesh, had they not supported thier dhs when they disagreed, had they acted in fear and selfishness, such an oppritunity for the Kingdom of Heaven would have been lost. If you don't know the story I highly recommend watching this documentry by her son:
http://www.christiananswers.net/spot...fsplendor.html
it will knock your socks off. and break your heart. and really help you see the beauty of submission and everyone in Gods place at Gods time. amazing beautiful scary stuff.
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