I'm so happy a new thread got started!
So many great points have already been brought up. I'll just say that all you ladies rock! It's sooo wonderful to have a community like this for support.
Yesterday was a turning point for us. I've been in charge of our finances for most of our life together. There was a period of about 6-12 months where DH took them over (and did an excellent job, btw), but mostly it's been me for the past 9 years. As I've been progressing in my walk as a submitted wife I've *really* felt God telling me to turn the finances over to DH.
This was difficult because: 1) I'm a total type A control freak & DH is generally much more laid back & tends to procrastinate. 2) DH had NO interest in taking the bills. In fact, me doing them was what he wanted. 3) Our finances aren't in the best state right now & I was carrying A LOT of guilt & fear over it. After all, I'm the one who does the bills/manages the money so if there are problems it's all on me right? Guilt & fear to the point where I was afraid to talk to DH about the situation. My flesh got going and all I could think was how angry he'd be, that he'd be disappointed in me,
Anyway, our finances came up yesterday because DH was going Christmas shopping & needed to know how much we had to spend. Long story short, I ended up telling him everything and he has agreed to take over managing the money starting next month! He asked that I write everything down, get stuff in order for him a bit, and he'll start doing them.
He wasn't upset that the check book wasn't balanced, some stuff hadn't been paid, etc. In fact, when I started with the whole "I just feel so bad because I'M the one responsible for the money & it's all messed up..." bit he jumped right in and accepted his part of the responsibility. He also acknowledged that I have been trying to tell him this for awhile & he has been tuning it out because he just didn't want to deal with it either.
This is such a huge weight off my shoulders. He is going to give me a set amount every payday & that will be what I have to cover groceries, household stuff, clothing, pets, etc. I'll also be getting a small amount for personal spending money. Although I expect that most of that will go to tithing since DH won't tithe off our gross income. I will tithe off my grocery/personal budget though & have made peace with that decision. After all, I'm not responsible for DH's decision not to fully tithe. That is between him & God.
Anyway, to top it all off, right after we had this conversation I was doing my daily Bible study & here's the verse I came across:
"There is no fear in love, but full-grown love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love." I John 4:18
Ladies, I read that and I just laid my head on the kitchen table & cried. I had been SOOOO afraid what DH was going to say/do when he finally found out about everything. Relief, joy, pride in my DH having a better attitude than I did about the whole thing, and so much
for God that he heard my prayers and worked everything out. Even to the point of my study that day being a gentle reminder that because DH & I love each other there isn't room for fear in our relationship.
Sorry this got so long, but I just can't believe this has finally been resolved!
Anyway, don't know if anyone else is going through something similar, but there's hope if you are.