Originally Posted by lilyka
Ok so I need you wise ladies help.
this is a lose/lose situation.
So I need to lose as best i can.
Went away for the weekend. Dh was amazing. the girls had a riot, he was super dad and even fixed things around the house.
and he went shopping since he didn't luike my cooking utensils.
I have been working really hard to do four things in my kitchen.
* cut the clutter.
* get rid of plastic.
* get rid of teflon.
* make sure portions sizes we small.
and I was so sucessful. This weekend was the crowning touch whenI went to IKEA and bought smallish plates and bowls for my children (need I say for cheap ) so that thier helpings couldn't help but be small. Yay me. all our storage wear is glass. our pot is stainless steel and our three skillets and dutch oven (from small to freaking huge) are cast iron. everything fits into our 4 cupboards with room to spare.
So while I am away he outfits my kitchen with enourmous portion sized, teflon coated cooking stuff. a huge griddle thing and a giant muffin tin. I don't get it. whywould he but cookware for the weekend? why wouldn't he consider the fact that the only teflon in the house is his one little skillet that he has to have. does he not get it that I never use that pan? Does he not see the cast iron I keep stored on top of the stove?
but if I say anything I am doomed.
If I am anything lss than enthusiastic he will take it as a personal slight.
If i don't say anything and tell him I love it, I risk him buying more.
I will not use this stuff for my kids. however he is now king of breakfast and he will. and I can't just casualy take over because he thinks he is doing such a huge big favir. but he didn't bothr to ask how I felt about stuff. he is cooking like his mother. teflon seasoned everything. Nothing whole grain. nevermind that I just tortured my children for a month helping them aquire a taste for porrige. spening a lot of money finding what types we could choke down. will he ever ask fo rmy recipes? will he ever even think to make this stuff for them? Does he care that I have researched and have solid evidence and actually think beyond the check book and cravings when i plan what we will eat? does he not realize that I consider this one of the most important aspects of parenting? what I feed my children and how I cook it? He has no clue how we eat, how we cook anything, he hasn't done a bit of research on what is good and bad, has never questioned what his mom did in the kitchen or what the man tell him is good or bad and yet if i utter one word against these pans or what is cooked in them I am the bad guy.
what do I do?
do I just suck it up?
I cannot think of one way to adress thiswithout ruining everything.
You can respect the role you've given him as head of house and still tell him what you need and why you need it.
"Hey honey, I really appreciate the hard work you put into the kitchen while I was gone. I noticed you bought some new pans and that was really thoughful thank-you. I have to tell you though that I have been trying to phase out the teflon in the house for x, y, & z reasons. I probably should have told you before and I apologize for that. You can't know something like that if we haven't talked about it."
You aren't criticising him and you take the blame for not actively communicating. Even if he's been around when you talk to OTHER people he may not trap the data in his brain because it wasn't directed from YOU to HIM.