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Talked my pregnant babysitter out of circ!!  

post #1 of 14
12/18/05 at 12:12am
Thread Starter 
A girl who lives across the street who and who sometimes babysits my ds after school just found out she was pregnant she is only 16!! So we had a long discussion about childbirth and I also told her about circumcision and convinced her that its best to leave boy intact. She didn't realize my son wasn't circumcised I guess because she doesn't see too many baby penises. I also told her about this website if she has any questions.
post #2 of 14
12/18/05 at 12:17am
great job!
post #3 of 14
12/18/05 at 12:36am
Yay !

P.S. Have you talked to her about breastfeeding? I would have killed for someone to help me with that when I had my daughter (I was 17)
post #4 of 14
12/18/05 at 1:12am
post #5 of 14
12/19/05 at 10:58am
//
post #6 of 14
12/19/05 at 12:27pm
Please keep up the communication. She WILL absolutely get more (conflicting) opinions and influence about this and other topics from others who may have a stronger influence than you. Parents, friends, and doctors may not hold the same view that you and she currently hold. Information is power, but her parents may have more legal power due to her age, and family ties. She must be confident enough in the decision to remain strong in the face of opposition. The son of an acquaintance is circumcised because the parents of the 15 year old mother made the decision. Knowledge fights ignorance. Keep up the good work.
post #7 of 14
12/19/05 at 6:30pm
Kudos to you for being there for her!

Can you get her going to LLL and maybe help her find a doula? I agree, she will need a lot of support about birth choices. How involved are her parents?
post #8 of 14
12/19/05 at 7:03pm
Kudos to you & I agree with the PP's - Keep Reaching Out!!!!!
post #9 of 14
12/19/05 at 10:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mattemma04
The journey has only begun.Get her the Sheila Kitzinger books on pregnacy to get her thinking.As a teen she will be at the mercy of the hospital staff.Most adult women have a hard time standing up for themselves in that type of setting.After the birth(most likely a c) she will be in no condition to help her infant remain intact.Hopefully she will make use of the mothering info and forums.Best wishes to her!
You know, it's true that many adult women have a hard time getting what they want in the hos, but my experience with young moms is that they do birth so well, that there isn't really too much time for the staff to mess it up. They really seem to just get it, faster, easier, than the older moms. I really doubt that it is MOST likely a c/s in her future. I mean the rates for anyone are high, but I haven't seen any data that they are higher for teen moms. Tell her about doulas, there are doulas who specialize in working with teen moms, who know the hospitals.
post #10 of 14
12/20/05 at 3:57am
Quote:
As a teen she will be at the mercy of the hospital staff.Most adult women have a hard time standing up for themselves in that type of setting.After the birth(most likely a c) she will be in no condition to help her infant remain intact.
Congratulations, that's the most ageist (and inaccurate) reply I've ever seen on this board.
post #11 of 14
12/20/05 at 4:21am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fi.
Congratulations, that's the most ageist (and inaccurate) reply I've ever seen on this board.
Totally agree :
post #12 of 14
12/20/05 at 9:30am
Constructive criticism please!
post #13 of 14
12/20/05 at 10:32am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fi.
Congratulations, that's the most ageist (and inaccurate) reply I've ever seen on this board.
Well, I think it's accurate. I think that L&D staff look down on teen mothers as much as they look down on homebirthers. Sure, there are a few out there who respect them, or at least pity them and treat them with compassion, but most of them can barely disguise their contempt and have a mission to make sure that the birth is so horrendous that they never try to do it again. Maybe it's just where I live. My 16 yo SIL ended up with an unnecessary epis. and vaccum extraction. I was forcibly medicated with pit post-delivery to make my afterpains worse and manual placenta removal (and then told that this was to keep me from hemmhoraging - classic maneuver of creating an "emergency" and then "saving" me from it) to prove that birth is so dangerous and horrible that I'm an idiot for even considering not coming to the hospital.

And it's a legal reality that she will have to be more vigilant than an adult woman to keep her son intact. Adults just have to worry about staff screwing up... she has to worry about her mother or father signing the consent form and making it completely legal to perform the circ and there's nothing she can do about it.
post #14 of 14
12/20/05 at 12:31pm
Kathy, if she's online, point her in the direction of this forum for young moms:

http://www.girl-mom.com/phpBB2/

They're pretty anti-circ and very pro-young-mom-empowerment. It would really help her get support for her decisions.
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