We're living in a 3rd floor apartment...

[Nature]

(crossposted cause I wasn't sure where this fit)
with 2 kids. We'd love to move out, but have to wait until at least the spring. We've been here for 3 1/2 years now. The location sucks. We're right on an intersection, no yard. Which means the kids are inside most of the time unless we can walk to the playground. (winter here now, freezing, due with baby #3 in a few weeks. I'm not walking there. )

Though I always try to tell the kids to try to be quiet and not jump around, its hard to always ride them about it. Other than sit quietly and play games and watch movies... that leaves NOTHING they can really do to play. And lets face it, I have a 2 year old!

So the other day, first time in 3 1/2 years.. the new neighbor below us bangs on the ceiling for like 5 minutes. Obviously trying to make a point. My kids were actually sitting on the couch at the moment, so I don't know why they did it.. but whatever. Tonight, he comes up from downstairs to tell me to be quiet. I told him I have a 2 year old and I'm sorry, but what can I do?. <shrug> He said that his two kids were trying to sleep (bedrooms are the same spot as ours, way in the back of the apartment and my dd is in the gated living room in the front. Not that it matter a whole lot, but still, she isn't banging around above the bedrooms or anything..and it is only 7pm) I repeated the same thing, because I really do not see what I can do about it. Most days my dd doesn't jump around, but sometimes she gets in a jumpy mood and to ask her to stop usually just makes her worse. I try to redirect her, but then my whole day is thrown off because I'm trying to stop her from making too much noise on the floor. <sigh>

Anyway, he said "Fine, then I'll just continue to call the management and complain about you." I told him to have fun with that and I slammed the door.

I'm so shaken up right now. I'm angry and hurt and upset. I try to be respectful, but what can I do?! Cage my children up???? I don't understand what is expected of me.

What do other mothers do when they live in an apartment? Do you make your kids tiptoe? Or do you just let it go?

[TiredX2]

If I were you I would contact the management and say that this man is bothering you. Then start keeping a list of exactly what your kids are doing when he complains.

7pm is NOT quiet hours *anywhere* so even if your kids where running around yelling, it's his tough luck, IMO.

I'm sorry he's bothering you.

[ehsclt]

I agree with the pp. This is no more your problem than that of the neighbor below you (whom you would think would be a lot more understanding, given that he's a parent.)

The only question I have, which I admit is probably something you thought of already: do the children have their shoes off? I know that would make a big difference in the noise level. Other than that, I think kids just need to be kids at 7 pm. At 10 pm, I think you have an obligation to limit their movement, but not at 7 pm.

Sorry you are going through this. It would bother me a lot, too.

[JoyofBirth]

We live in a 2nd floor apartment. My dh tells me all the time that "we have neighbors donwstairs" any time dd and I stomp around chasing one another or if I throw shoes from one room to another or even sometimes jsut because I walk heavy. I tell him I can't stop living. I just try to be considerate in the night, since dd and I are night owls. We just got new neighbors above us with a 2yo dd. She stomps around and jumps and they run through the house and stuff. I do admit that when I miraculously get dd down for a nap and they go stomping through the bedroom above her. But they don't know. And even if they did, what are they supposed to, schedule their lives around me, check with me before playing? I think not. So I agree that you can't do much. So just tell him you have a right to play in your home, you will be considerate at night and other than that, too bad. I'd also second calling the management and letting them know what he's up to. I'm not sure if it constitutes harrassment or not yet, but if he keeps coming up to you about it, it is.

[chel]

my apartment trys to keep dc on the bottom floor for noise reduction. Even though our are suppose to be "low noise" apartments I can hear the upstairs cat sneeze so I so understand there is little to be done to fix it. My best trick is to use a fan for white noise. We can't here a thing with a fan on.

[Nature]

Thanks guys for all the replies. The kids do take their shoes off in the house, in fact.. we all do. (maybe thats why Flylady never worked so well here )
The place is carpeted too.

I can actually hear the people on the first floor with their kids. I can hear them stomping and things, and its two floors BELOW me. So I don't doubt that we are noisy to the people below us, but I really don't know what to do. Last night was a miracle, I kept my dd awake through her naptime just so I could put her to bed early. It worked, for once. And I didn't have to worry about her making noise at 8pm or anything. But realistically, she doesn't follow a schedule well...and we're expecting a new baby soon.. I can see all hell breaking loose once she arrives.

I am planning on calling the management to let them know. They haven't called me yet, which means there isn't much they can do. At least not until they get so many complaints (which he assured me he'd do.) I'm also looking into moving soon and hopefully finding a place on the ground floor so my kids can be kids!

Since I've been *really* noticing it... my dd walks loud. Just to get from the table to her toybox, it sounds like an elephant clomping there. She runs with her heels down (which I think is normal for a 2 year old) and its LOUD. But again, not much I can do.

[Mizelenius]

!!!!

We lived in an apt. until just last month with our 2 DDs. I was always worried about noise, but no one complained- probably because they would do things like practice the cello . . .AT MIDNIGHT or vacuum (my landlord would do this!) at 11 p.m.! Ah, those were the days.

Anyway, we were usually lucky to get neighbors above us that were never home, but I think apartments are usually just a little noisy, even with quiet people. Your neighbor is going to have to accept it!