I spoke to my dad on Saturday and I was pretty disappointed (but not surprised) to learn that they won't be coming out after Carys is born. They made such a fuss (still are!) over her birth. She's the 7th grandchild but the first granddaughter. They were pressuring me to come out over Christmas - Carys is due Dec 29. But I asked them to come a few weeks after she was born because I'd need more help then. And I pointed out that we're literally doing nothing for Christmas because we're totally focussed on the birth.
They responded by basically deciding not to come out at all. Now, instead of coming to see their newest grandchild, Dad's taken a 6 month contract job with an oil company. He doesn't need the work and is retired but whatever. And they've made plans to go to France in June for a month. The message I got is: work is more important to Dad than family and they can afford the time/money to go to France but not the time/money to see their grandchild who is a helluva lot closer than Paris but obviously not nearly as interesting.
Honestly, I felt pretty let down. They've gone to see all the other grandchildren after their births. I feel like because I set some limitations or boundaries, they've just turned their backs. So now no one in my family is coming out. Not my parents - for reasons known only to them. Nor my sister who has a family of her own and is financially strapped. Her at least I can understand. She's been lamenting that she can't come out and wishes we lived closer together.
I feel pretty alone and kind of abandoned, though I know that most of that is hormonally influenced. Rationally, I know that my parents are stressful. They came out in the summer for a few days and it was really intense. Good, but they're the type who need to be entertained instead of just helping out. I know that this isn't a bad thing overall, but can't help feeling the way I do. Help me put this in perspective, ladies!
They responded by basically deciding not to come out at all. Now, instead of coming to see their newest grandchild, Dad's taken a 6 month contract job with an oil company. He doesn't need the work and is retired but whatever. And they've made plans to go to France in June for a month. The message I got is: work is more important to Dad than family and they can afford the time/money to go to France but not the time/money to see their grandchild who is a helluva lot closer than Paris but obviously not nearly as interesting.
Honestly, I felt pretty let down. They've gone to see all the other grandchildren after their births. I feel like because I set some limitations or boundaries, they've just turned their backs. So now no one in my family is coming out. Not my parents - for reasons known only to them. Nor my sister who has a family of her own and is financially strapped. Her at least I can understand. She's been lamenting that she can't come out and wishes we lived closer together.
I feel pretty alone and kind of abandoned, though I know that most of that is hormonally influenced. Rationally, I know that my parents are stressful. They came out in the summer for a few days and it was really intense. Good, but they're the type who need to be entertained instead of just helping out. I know that this isn't a bad thing overall, but can't help feeling the way I do. Help me put this in perspective, ladies!


I can see why you'd be upset. Did they tell you why they weren't coming? Do you think they'll change their minds once Carys is here?




Follow Mothering