Creating a "monster" by co-sleeping?! - Page 3

[hesterprynne68]

question

ok- so what do you do when they get a little older but you want to have sex? how old is too old- or do you have sex during the day?

[Maman*Musique]

Originally Posted by hesterprynne68

ok- so what do you do when they get a little older but you want to have sex? how old is too old- or do you have sex during the day?

You get creative. The bed (in the bedROOM) is for sleeping in our house.

nak

[theelfqueen]

A friend of mine always says "You have SEX in your BED? We sleep in ours." Cracks me up -- really there are plenty of other places and times to have sex besides in the bed -- the shower, the floor, the couch, the laundry room... etc... etc... etc...

[Pam]

We have sex in my son's bedroom since he's not using it

[hesterprynne68]

so far so good

The baby is only 4 months now and he knows we are doing something. At the point at which he could talk I think it would be too weird.

[merpk]

Didn't make it through the whole thread yet, but before I finish it all have to jump in ... we were told we were creating a monster by nursing exclusively.

:








People can be so silly sometimes.

YKWIM?

[ZachsMom]

creating a "monster"??

Oh my goodness, Ladies. I can relate to every one of your posts and it's wonderful to feel the support out there.

We never thought of sharing our bed with our children; however, after our midwife handed him back to us after checking him out, there was no doubt where he would sleep -- snuggled next to us. We've gone back and forth on whether to keep him in our bed (usually after my MIL has worn us down) but always end up with the same response -- we're not ready to have him sleep in his own room. Sometimes our now 15 month old does sleep in his toddler bed (right next to our bed), but always ends up back in the "big bed" before the night's end.

Our son is the most gentle, thoughtful, confident little boy and I attribute a lot of that to the love he feels from us during the day and night.

I know it's tough hearing the same 'ole crap from other people who don't believe in the same philosophies in raising their children; and sometimes it does wear you down. But as a few other people on this post have stated so eloquently -- we need to tell them all to "bugger off". ..with love, of course.

[jillc512]

Grrr - what is it with people and their advice about "teaching" babies? I have recently come to realize that I shouldn't be teaching my babies anything about sleep; they are teaching us exactly what they need, namely to be close to mom and dad at night. And by meeting their needs, they're learning to trust us, to turn to people (instead of things) when they need comfort, and that comforting someone when they're crying is the right thing to do. These seem like more important lessons than the lesson of how to sleep through the night...

[Nelybel]

Yet one more experience to add. I was tremendously stressed about the sleep 'thing' when my ds was born. After reading a ton (mostly here) I began to relax and enjoyed following my instincts which were to hold and sleep with my baby as much as possible. He wasn't the greatest sleeper in the world and sometimes I felt like I spent the entire first year of his life helping him sleep. However, it has been fun to see him gradually drift into better and more consistent (and yes - even "independent") sleep patterns. It just seems to happen. In its own time.

About 2/3 of the way through my pregnancy with #2, we put a bed on the floor for ds (room-wise, my husband just could not fathom sleeping with 4 in the bed...and to be honest I was a little doubtful too. We all like our space.) Anyway - we gave him lots of chances for him to be in either place and we both slept with him down there and within a couple of weeks he always chose 'his' bed versus the 'big' bed. Fast forward to now and he is almost 3 and sleeping in his own room. And to my surprise there was absolutely no effort or trauma involved in the transition. I guess he was ready. If dd hadn't been on the way he might have slept with us longer. She probably will as this is probably our last child.

The point is - if I relaxed and just sort of adapted as needs changed, it has gone very well. I used to just say "she/he sleeps great" to avoid the hassle with opinionated outsiders. Now I'm a little braver since things have gone so well. I think co-sleeping is great and I also think my child loving his own bed is great too. Good luck.

J

[soladeo]

"If it's good enough for the Virgin Mary and Sarah, it's good enough for me."

This is what I'm going to start saying when people bug me about co-sleeping, breastfeeding a toddler and babywearing- I "mis"quote the old revival song, "Give Me that Old Religion"

It's true though- many of our "modern" institutions are not very biblical.


OK, Sarah had a concubine...I know. Not a practice we endorse today. But we don't endorse a lot of practices of Biblical people- though we are good at picking and choosing- different topic, sorry.

Still, how can you say the Virgin Mary, exemplary model of motherhood, and Sarah, matriach of the Jewish people, were wrong????

[soladeo]

Just had to reply again. Our "monster" tells us when he wants to take a nap and go to sleep "night-night." Instead of fighting him as SO many parents do to GO TO SLEEP, he just does it. I think he feels comfortable with sleeping.

Now to be fair, I was horrible to get to sleep, because I never wanted to miss anything.(still have trouble) So I'm not saying that co-sleeping will make a little angel who just goes to sleep, but I think it would be a tremendously difficult if he had his own bed. I might add, he's only 16 mos, so things may change.

My mom couldn't believe he tells us when he wants to sleep, or when he was hungry. Funny, because she's the one who suggested (strongly-I might add) we co-sleep, nurse, and sign. She never did such things with my brother and I, and wishes she did.

[TheMoMo]

Co-sleeping has been one of the best parts of parenting for us, and it most certainly didn't create any 'sleep monsters'. My son moved to his toddler bed next to our bed when he was almost 4, then shortly after to his own bed in his own room. No tears, no issues...a very peaceful, natural transition. He's 7 now and still loves to cuddle, but far prefers sleeping by himself.

My daughter will be 4 in March and she's been in her own room for a few months now. It was her idea and it's worked wonderfully...I thought she was a bit young, but she's more mature than my ds was and she was definitely ready. She still naps in my bed (with me...I love our naps!) but at night she loves sleeping in her own bed. She also used the toddler bed in our room for about six months before moving on.

We're due with our third baby in 6 weeks or so and he'll definitely be sleeping in with dh and I. We've never had sleep issues in our house, we're all very well rested, no stress, no crying...for us, the family bed is the only way to go!

Maureen

[karinasusy]

My 7.5 year old still crawls into bed with me if he wakes up during the night. Only just when he turned 7 has he felt confident going to sleep in his own bed in his own room. He nursed until age 4.3 years.

Of course I think he is the most fabulous child ever, but just to give some outside perspective I will share what his grade 2 teacher has told me (she was also his grade 1 teacher). She said that he is the most well rounded student she has ever met. When I first met his teacher, she also said that she never gives out "A"s. Well, she certainly has given a lot of them to my son!

[hopesam]

wow your family sounds a bit like mine. I do have to say that when we decided to cosleep with our now 2 1/2yr. old I was worried that she would never be able to sleep alone and all that. The only reason these ideas entered my mind though was because I heard too many bleats from all the sheep who are comfortable shipping there sweet babies off to another room in the house from day one. When she was ready to move to her own bed she made it very clear, and is a very (very) independent little girl now. Don't even get me started on the issue of starting formula and solids. I got so many rude remarks and comments about my choices on these matters. Hold your own, be strong, and don't ever let them make you think that you are wrong in your choices. Everyone has a right to make the choices that suit them.