"You need to unbound him..." - Page 2

[myducklings]

Yep, ignore!

[guestmama9911]

I'm proud of all these constrained women who say to ignore the email. In my case I have a very verbslly abusive family so I would respond simply to keep people from believing their comments are justified. I've said the following in similar situations, "Thank you for your concern, but I would appreciate it if you would try to get all the information before automatically assuming I would put my own interests ahead of my child's. I am happy to report your assumptions are incorrect." Then I would fill in the blanks.

[Sharlla]

I would politely inform her that if she is going to be nasty and rude, not to email you anymore. People who love each other aren't suppose to treat each other that way.

Ok, the truth is *I* would tell her to mind her own F-ing business, but I'm a hot head at times

[mumto2]

Oooooh... Alisaterry, I can just think of SO MANY times to use this phrase, about so many issues that I have so many uninformed opinionated family members taking up my time.

My friends, whom I have chosen, tend to be more reasonable!!!

[sophmama]

I think if you ignore her she'll think she really 'got you' and that you were unable to formulate a reply that trumped hers. I'd give her a response thorough enough to rebutt any thought she might have on the issue and not touch the grammer but jump on the racist comment at the end of your email as one final, "how ignorant are you?" finale.

[KnitterMama]

I am tempted to say ignore her, for your own sanity ... but I also believe that ignoring racism permits it. Your response doesn't have to be long, and you don't have to include all the reasons her email is well, the dumbest thing you've ever heard but I don't think you should just let it slip by.

My twin sisters in-laws are notorious for these kinds of comments. They're not even MY in-laws and they drive me freakin nuts. Her step MIL informed my 5yo nephew that Turks had bad hygiene and scratched their behinds all day long (my DH is Turkish). At my niece's first birthday party, I had made my DS a special outfit for the occasion ( see it here ). My Mom commented that it reminded her of traditional Middle-Eastern clothing, like a tunic. My sister's Uncle-In-Law remarked that "yeah they wear pajamas all the time" with a very negative tone.

Anyway, comments like that are ridiculous, uncalled-for, and probably not what you want your DC exposed to in the future. Best to try and correct them now, or at least make it clear those types of stereotypes are not acceptable and hopefully they'll keep it to themselves from then on.

[bean0322]

Thanks so very much dear mamas for all the hugs, wise words, good advice, and much needed smiles! I still haven't decided what to do but can now proceed from a much better place due to the kindness and wisdom found here.

[bethwl]

I'd be feeling snippy, so I think this is how I would respond:

1. CHINESE women had their feet bound.
2. "Jap'" is a very offensive and racist way to refer to Japanese people.
3. You mean "unbind" not "unbound."
4. Charlie is spot-on developementally and even if he weren't absolutely no research shows any link between babywearing and developmental delay. If you want to see the REAMS of evidence that babywearing is a positive thing, let me know, but somehow your email makes me think no.

[PancakeGoddess]

It's difficult to even get angry at people that are this ignorant and arrogant. Honestly, I had to laugh a little, and would probably write a curt "If you'd like to know more about why I parent the way I do, please feel free to ask."

That's what strikes me first - she has her opinion and isn't concerned with hearing the OP's reasoning. Most of my family is also really ignorant about my choices but if they comment at all, it's to ASK about it.

[ellie_may12]

Originally Posted by Tupelo Honey

I think you should just bombard her with really long, informative emails with the text actually C&Pd rather than just sending links. If she has a slow email connection, make sure to send lots of large photos to clog up her email.
And maybe throw in some grammar lessons on verb tense and lectures on racism.

I love this!!!!

I may have to use this next time my sister starts on about how I shouldn't let my baby fall asleep in my arms or wear her or bf on demand!

[mollyeilis]

Gosh.

I wouldn't ignore this. I mean, my sister is 25 years younger than me and therefore doesn't send me "helpful" emails, but I think if any of my brothers sent emails like this I would have a hard time considering them my brothers any longer.

First...aren't there physiological studies that show that a baby who is worn is actually *developing* all this little muscles needed for balance and proprioception, faster than a baby not worn, and therefore a worn baby is going to be further ahead than he or she would have been if not worn? Therefore, you are doing better for your babe by wearing him.

Unbound?

Third, what's wrong with doing something (figuring that she means you're American (I assume) and therefore don't need to be tying baby to you, binding him to you) that a far more ancient culture has been doing, and doing successfully? Just b/c we're American (I assume) doesn't mean our babies can *only* benefit from strollers. Babies aren't born knowing about babies r us...

And fourth, the racism. My hubby is half Korean. Though he grew up near Seattle, he was only one of a handful of Asian kids all through school (I think the immigration wave came after him LOL), and he got picked on a lot. By the time he was in high school he was in martial arts, drama, and football. He had a bit of confidence. ONe day this kid who had been egging him on for ages, calling him names like the J word your sister used, this kid just pushed him too far.

And so, in the middle of a crowded hallway during passing period, Robert YELLED out that if he was going to call him a racist name, he should get it right, and call him the word used for Korean (which funnily enough doesn't even bug Robert since it means "person" in Korean and is what they call themselves with "han" at the beginning), rather than the word used for Japanese. So now he knew and could get it right next time.

That boy wanted to sink into the floor. And he never, EVER teased Robert again.

So defininitely call her out. On all of it.

[pumpkinsmama]

Originally Posted by Tupelo Honey

I think you should just bombard her with really long, informative emails with the text actually C&Pd rather than just sending links. If she has a slow email connection, make sure to send lots of large photos to clog up her email.
And maybe throw in some grammar lessons on verb tense and lectures on racism.

That sounds like a great way to avoid actually arguing, you are just sharing info. right? Then if she wants to argue, you can point out that "you" didn't write the article, she can email the author if she feels that strongly. I totally love the idea of dealing this way with relatives. Thanks Tupelo Honey. It may not help the OP, but I'll use it in the future, I'm sure.

(Please all excuse my poor grammer, it has been gooder)