Spinoff: Did Homeschool "Work"

[Mamajamz]

I was just reading the thread "Did AP Work" which inspired me to ask something else that has been on my mind. Mods, feel free to move this, but this is not specifically about HS'ing but rather the effects of it on the whole person as an older teen/adult or now as a parent....so with that I will ask:

If you were homeschooled as a child for the bulk of your education, where are you today...OR if you homeschooled your own children who are now grown, what do you see happening in their lives now as a result? I ask because my kids are young, and my friends' kids are also young. i am not making judgment calls on the information you may choose to give; it's just a way to get a glimpse of life after homeschool since it isn't possible to sit down with you and talk about your life though that would certainly be preferable.

So, of the homeschooled lot of you, tell me some of the external things about your life that give clues as to what kind of person you see yourself as, as well as internal satisfaction with your life....things such as:

profession
marital/relational status
social and support network
socioeconomic bracket
higher educational status
accomplishments

How happy are you now with your life
How satisfied are you in your relationships
Do you feel like you have succeeded in life
**IF YOU COULD DO IT OVER WOULD YOU HAVE BEEN HOMESCHOOLED?**


Those who choose to respond, thank you in advance!

[Gracefulmom]

Good question... I'm subbing since I'm a homeschooling mom.

[phaeon]

Originally Posted by Gracefulmom

Good question... I'm subbing since I'm a homeschooling mom.

Me too. At least, we're thinking about it (DD isn't quite 2 yet). Curious to see what other families have experienced.

[Annikate]

Very interested too. If you don't get many resposes you ought to bump after the holiday! Looking forward to reading more . . .

[USAmma]

I can't answer for my own family, but I know someone who was homeschooled all the way through until college. She was a good friend of mine through college and we still stay in touch. She did well in college and went on to become a UU minister. She was also a life coach for awhile, a member of NOW, politically active, and is currently teaching at a small women's college. She's been married for more than 10 years and just had a baby girl last year. She is one of the most balanced people I know and has done a lot of good for the world.

[UnschoolnMa]

I was homeschooled for a time. Now I am an unschooling mom of two. I am an artist, and am happily married.

[trmpetplaya]

Both dh and I were homeschooled. We actually met at a homeschool resource center when we were 12 (didn't date till sr year of high school). I was homeschooled through high school and have no hs diploma. Dh did something called contract studies in high school, in which he met with an advisor once a week and got a hs diploma through the school district.

We both went to college for two years and decided that it wasn't for us (we both had very high scores on the SAT/ACT and I had no trouble getting into college with no diploma). Part of the problem with college was that we were 2,000 miles apart (I was in PA and he was in CA). The other problem I had with it was that I couldn't decide on one major. I knew what I wanted to do ultimately (teach private music lessons from home) and the music education department was geared towards school-teaching which I didn't enjoy at all. I like one on one or small group teaching, large groups are not my thing So I switched to an English major which ended up making me dislike reading (something I adore normally). So then I switched to a psychology/sociology double major, but I was pretty depressed about being away from dh and my major changes had made it so I would be in school for five year total instead of four. I'm also a Christian and I decided (after much prayer and thought) that I didn't need a piece of paper from men to do whatever God wanted me to do, or to do what I wanted to do - teach private lessons!

I then went down to CA and married dh. He came to the same decision as I did, but for different reasons. He felt that he was the only person in his major (computer science) who actually cared about learning what was being taught. It was very depressing for him. So we moved back up to WA and he started his own computer business last year helping folks with their computer problems. I've been working at the local bank as a proof operator and am hoping to not have to go back at the end of January when my leave is up. I have three piano students currently and at least 4 more prospects (I haven't advertised yet either) for the spring when I will be accepting more.

Our income isn't steady enough right now for me to be able to figure out how much we make offhand... but we have enough and that's what counts Even with me on unpaid leave, we're still getting by. We're moving at the end of this month to a cheaper place to make it even more possible for me to not go back to work. We definitely don't need me going back full-time. We don't really care about money anyhow... we're reading a lot about simplifying and what we'd really like to do long-term is find land somewhere and live as cheaply as possible. Right now we're living in one of the most expensive communities in WA... and we'd like to change that very soon!

Accomplishments? Well... starting a business, learning that simple is the way to go, figuring out for ourselves that college wasn't for us, making our life work without that piece of paper, having enough money to have a child and give to those of our friends who need help, learning to love others unconditionally. I don't know if those are the accomplishments that you're looking for, but they are very important to us

We have a wonderful support system (the only reason we're living here...) of people who've known us for most of our lives. We attend church as regularly as dd's sleep schedule lets us My parents live in GA, but my ILs live right down the street.

We are very happy with our life and are planning on homeschooling our child(ren). If I had it to do over again I would choose to be homeschooled the whole way through (I started homeschooling in 5th grade) because I did not have a good experience with public or private school. In high school homeschooling worked out very well for me because I was able to attend every instrumental music class that was offered by the high school. I went to school and played trumpet all day long and during the open periods I did my schoolwork or practised piano or trumpet.

Success means something different to everyone... I believe that we have succeeded. We did what we wanted to do and made it work for us. We have a beautiful daughter, a wonderful marriage; we have friends and loved ones who care about us; we know what we want to do and are happy in the journey whether or not we reach the destination. I think we've succeeded by my definition

love and peace.

[SquirelNutkin]

I also cant answer these questions from my experience, but ahve a friend that was homeschooled until her last 3 years of high school. I ahve asked the same questions of her, and of her other friends. She ahs about 5 that were mostly homeschooled that she has none for 20 years.
They all seem to have skipped the difficult terbulent years of late teens and early twenties that my high school friends went through. They all ahve had long term healthy seeming relationships. They all seem well balanced. They all went to college and beyond. They all work in the education field involved with the public school system (This last fact I find terribly interesting!)
They are all in their early thirties.

I am eager to hear from more people!

b

[kaylee18]

Worked for me!

I was homeschooled from kindergarten through high school. I found it to be a blast. I have a deep and abiding love of learning that was only dampened slightly by college study. Personally, I think the customary 12 years of formal schooling would have crushed this tendency completely.

About socialization: Every time I have ever discussed homeschooling with an adult, the question of socialization has come up. It's very odd, from my point of view, that lack of socialization is cited universally as a 'drawback' of homeschooling without a shred of evidence to support the idea that homeschoolers are deprived of interaction. A recent article in Mothering magazine even mentioned a study that found homeschooled children to be more socially advanced than their non-homeschooled peers. I do not believe positive social skills are gained efficiently or reliably from a half-hour of recess each day, within about six hours of sitting and being permitted no interaction except with a teacher. I was involved in many outside activities with people of all ages, and do not feel that school would have enriched my social experience or advanced my social skills at all. Obviously, children need socialization, and parents should pay attention to whether their children's social needs are being met, and whether positive social skills are being learned. I do not believe that any form of schooling is capable of accomplishing this. It has to happen outside of school: perhaps in the neighborhood, while involved in extracurricular artistic or athletic pursuits, or while volunteering. Parents should be aware that this is a responsibility of theirs regardless of where their children are educated.

Now, with regard to academics and my experiences following homeschooling:

I was never enrolled in any classroom-based school until I went to college. Although there are many ways for a homeschooler to get a high school transcript and diploma, such as www.clonlara.org , where my older sister received high school credentials, I did not bother with that.

I just enrolled in the community college at 16 years of age, told them I was homeschooled, and took the placement exam. After one semester there, I took the SAT (using the high school code corresponding to "Home School") and the GED just for good measure. I got an 800 (out of a possible 800) on the English and 690 (also out of 800; could've done much better if not for working too slowly in one section) Math for a total score of 1490* on the SAT.

With that and another 3 semesters of community college in their Biology program (GPA 3.92 out of a possible 4.0), I applied to an Ivy League university. This was at my awesome advisor's suggestion based on my enthusiasm for education, my grades, and my interest area.

There I earned a B.S. with honors in my chosen field, as well as meeting my future husband. Tuition was covered about 10% by the amounts paid at the time of study by myself and my parents; 45% by grants; and 45% by student loans. My (and my family's) lack of ability to pay up-front was not an obstacle at all. I hereby beseech parents everywhere not to worry about the cost of their children's college education, nor to discourage their children (if they are committed enough to graduate) from applying to good universities because of the cost. The quality of education offered at the best universities provides so much opportunity for graduates that it more than compensates for the loans incurred.

After graduating with my B.S., I applied to ten other universities (selected for their reputation in my chosen field) for graduate study. I was accepted to all of them, and was flown out, expenses-paid, to see several of the campuses and get a feel for their academic programs prior to deciding which one to attend. I earned an M.S. at the graduate school of my choice, with an assistantship (a very common offering of graduate programs) that covered my tuition, plus a monthly stipend that covered room, board, and all living expenses. Student loans from my B.S. studies were deferred until 6 months after my M.S. degree had been earned.

By then, having lived my whole life up to that point in the Northeast and Midwest, I was fed up with cold weather, so I applied for a job opening in Hawai'i, where I and my husband are now living.

Overall, I think that homeschooling has not had any drawbacks for me and has given me many benefits, not the least of which was completing my M.S. at 22.

I am a proponent of self-determination for all humans, especially children, and do not believe they should be kept from a formal school if that is where they prefer to be. Conversely, I consider it wrong to force children to attend school if they do not enjoy it. As far as the eventual "consequences" of home education, however, I personally rate it far above private or public educational systems.

My siblings did not choose the same level of higher education as I did. My sister earned a B.A., one younger brother has an A.S. (both graduated 1-2 years "early"), and the other younger brother has just begun college studies. They have not encountered any educational or social obstacles related to our having been homeschooled; combining this fact with the universal envy of our peers, I think they would rate their experiences as successful also. My sister worked in her chosen field for a time, is happily married, has children, and now freelances in the same profession. Younger brother #1 is living in his own apartment with his g/f and also working in his chosen field. Younger brother #2 is an athlete as well as attending college at his own volition (and cost - we all worked summers to pay $3000 or so per year toward tuition; my parents paid what the FAFSA application process estimated as their contribution).

In short, from my experience, homeschooling fosters success. I plan to unschool with my kids - unless they have other ideas.

- kaylee18

*Note: I list my SAT scores and community college grades for two reasons: to demonstrate that schools do not have a monopoly on education, and to illustrate the fact that if you choose to begin higher education at a non-ranked non-university college, it is absolutely necessary to get very high grades and high SAT scores if you want to continue your studies at a ranked university. Community colleges do not offer anywhere near the intensity or quality of education that is available from an Ivy League university. Although starting at a community college worked out for me, I would not have started there if I had it to do over. Instead, I would have taken the SAT, then applied directly to four-year universities, and would have attended the best one at which I was accepted.

[spin462002]

"...OR if you homeschooled your own children who are now grown, what do you see happening in their lives now as a result? I ask because my kids are young, and my friends' kids are also young. i am not making judgment calls on the information you may choose to give; it's just a way to get a glimpse of life after homeschool since it isn't possible to sit down with you and talk about your life though that would certainly be preferable..."

I am almost 50 now and have homeschooled my four children completely. They are now aged 24, 22, 20 and 11. Obviously I only have one to guide now, which is so easy compared to three!

My oldest DS 24 has been married for five years and has two children DGD 4 and DGS 1. Ironically, he married a HS teacher. He started working part time when he was 16 with a neighbour who was a landscape gardener. Then the neighbour started a courier service so DS joined him at that. Then he bought his own van and became a private contractor courier for a paper manufacturer. When he married he joined the public service as a printer. (a regular income and all the benefits of the job)
A couple of years ago he took another job in the University as a technical assistant.
During his time there he had a fall and hurt his back. He had to have extensive physio and time off work, followed by working reduced hours. In August this year he became a stay at home Dad when his wife resumed work. He has always been active in sport until his accident and is just beginning to resume playing cricket. As a teenager he represented the state in hockey, indoor hockey and cricket. He played the piano and learned Irish dancing with his sisters. He spent a lot of time on a friend's farm nearby.

Next DD 22 went to college at 18 and flew through the work easily. She then went on to do a Hospitality Course, followed by a Diploma in Hospitality Management. She has worked part time/full time since she was 18. She is now a receptionist at a five star hotel. When she was younger she was involved in Irish dancing to a state level,
she plays the piano, swims, plays tennis, enjoys reading extensively and has travelled around the world with us twice in the last two years. She just spent four and a half months overseas including nine weeks in PA working in a summer camp for children.

Next DD 20 went to college at 16 and worked part time as a junior in a hairdressing salon. She then went into a Hairdressing apprenticeship and finished her four year course nine months early gaining many state awards. She has travelled with us around the world recently and joined her sister in PA at the summer camp. She is also accomplished at Irish dancing, piano, tennis and swimming. She now chooses to work part time in a salon and work from home the rest of the time as a hairdresser.

The youngest, Naomi is almost 12. She is an orange belt in Karate and loves pottery and swimming as well as learning the piano from her sisters who still live at home.
She has enjoyed the travelling we have done and spends lots of time at our friend's cattle/sheep farm nearby.(as all my children have done. It has added something special to their "education") The family on the farm homeschool too and have six children aged 31 - 12 as well as five grandchildren who live on adjacent houses on the farm and are all homeschooled too.

During my 20 years as a homeschooling/stay at home mom I have been a single mother for most of that time. When I was married my husband took little interest in the children and has not seen the girls for almost 12 years. (the youngest was 5 weeks old when he left and they have never met)

I am by nature a very sociable person and love having a coffee with friends at the mall and going to interesting places with the family. I have been involved with many "homeschooling support groups" over the years and started one myself. I find my children have benefitted more from doing group activities than "support groups".
I attend no support groups now as I find most of the "socializing" at them negative for the children. Great for the moms though!

I have run a small bed and breakfast from my home for almost nine years now, so we have a stream of interesting people who visit and chat and pay for the privilege!
It is a hobby for me, I only have one guest room, and we all enjoy the guests who come to stay. They are always fascinated by the homeschooling aspect of our life style and we have no need of "conversations starters".

Everyone remarks how delightful my daughters are, they are respectful, diligent and kind, and have to agree with them. I had no problems with either of the older girls as teenagers and expect non with Naomi. They all have lots of friends and are very popular. They do not drink or smoke or socialize inappropriately. They have young men chasing them but I have taught them to be very fussy! Hopefully they can learn by MY mistakes! So far, so good!

I am not a religious person but have Christian values. I believe I have advantaged my children by home educating them very informally and letting each one of them set their own pace. Their employers would agree they are preferred applicants and have exemplary attitudes to work and responsibility. They have told me so.

We had a very relaxed, loving, happy household. I bought school books as needed and the girls loved them. DS did not read until he was 10 and always hated "sit down at the table" kind of school work. He would prefer to ride his bike, skateboard or kick a ball around outside any day! I believe he was headed for being a professional sportsman when he met his future wife and decided to settle down with his own family. He is an excellent dad to his children and a loving husband. He does drink to excess or smoke and is a fine young man.

All this has not happened by any accident of birth but rather my hard work and commitment to my children.I could have had a career as a nurse but chose my family. I have no regrets and am proud of my children. They respect and love me and that makes it all worth it! No money can buy that!

Keep up the good work, the hardest part of homeschooling for me was the persecution from so called friends and family. Live your convictions, teach them to your children. Nothing is more important!

Lynn

[Mamajamz]

Bump.

[VictorianMom]

I am a homeschooling mom...of three...
My almost 29 year old wasn't homeschooled,we have had talks about the fact that I wished I had known of homeschooling back then..but she said she wouldn't have enjoyed homeschooling. She probably wouldn't have. Also during that time of my life I still had alot of growing up to do. She is married with four children(three boys and a girl).
My 16 year old has finished her studies,hasn't decided what she wants to do with her life. Homeschooling her was a joy,I am sad to see the journey end though. She will be going to stay with her older sister later in January for a few months to try and figure out what she would like to do. She unschooled most of her homeschooling journey,cause she was interested in so many different things.
We are still on a journey with our youngest,who is 11