cosleeping with newborn and toddler

[marchmom19]

Hi there

I need tips from other moms who have coslept with a babe and toddler.

We have the toddler bed at the side of our bed and the crib on the other side.

But everyone sleeps with us in the parent bed. I sometime put the baby in the toddler bed, or my toddler after she is fast asleep. To give us more room in the parent bed.

The main issues we are facing is getting my toddler to sleep. Baby sleeps lots as he is newborn. I nurse him then give him to dh to cuddle while I nurse my toddler to sleep. I have never been able to get my toddler to fall asleep without nursing. My dh can but only if I am not in the home. Last week when I was in hospital with baby for 4 nights, he had no plm. Now I am home, she only wants me to put her to sleep. Its so hard since I am tired too and she wont just nurse to sleep...its a long nurse like an hour long. I have warned her in the past ok...last time and then we say night night to milk. She will fuss and cry... sometime she will roll over and sleep, other time (most of the time) she cries until I let her continue nursing.

Any tips? She is almost 3. I know lots of transition for her now with baby but she is coping so well. Nursing her baby, wanting to help change, same time she wants to nurse more and tells me she is a baby too (which I accept saying she is the big baby).

Thanks for tips.

[NoraB]

First of all, congrats on your new little one!!!

Right now may not be the best time to try to change your toddler's sleep habits. The new baby is a big change for her and she may need to cling to you a little more while she is adjusting. If you try to break her of nursing to sleep now, she may see the baby as the cause and be resentful. Would you be willing to wait a couple of months before breaking her of the nursing to sleep association? I highly recommend The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It has a lot of great suggestions for gently changing a baby or toddler's sleep habits. Perhaps, after your toddler is more adjusted to the new baby you could begin to decrease the amount of time she's allowed to nurse to sleep. You could give her lots of extra cuddling during the day to make up for the lost nursing at night. Perhaps you could decrease the night nursing by 15 min or so every week or two until it's more managable for you. Maybe you could insitute some kind of reward system if she decreases her nursing-to-sleep for a certain number of nights in a row. Well, that's all I can think of right now. Good luck and HTH.

[Saundra]

I'm cosleeping with my 7 week old and my toddler and ever since the baby arrived, my toddler has increased his need to nurse at night. Like your toddler, mine can go to sleep without nursing if I'm not there, but of course, I am always here. Before the baby came, I started singing the alphabet song as a cue that it was time to finish nursing. He objected to limits on his nursing at first, and always asked for more milk when the song was over, but he gradually accepted it. Now when I nurse him down, I don't have to lie there for an hour; I sing the alphabet song when I feel he is relaxed enough to go to sleep, then hold him for a few minutes until he drifts off. This works only because my dh is holding the baby during this nightly ritual. My toddler gets me all to himself and gets to be the baby during this time.
Saundra

[tarablesue]

I am nursing and co-sleeping with my DD's. ( 2.25 years & 6.5 months) AND I STRONGLY agree not to try to switch things in the beginning. Give it a few months..I promise before you know it your toddler will be herself again once she adjusted to having to "share Mommy" an the nursing will slow down too.
Ill give you my best tips that have worked well for us...
*Always allow your toddler to nurse*, I found trying ot put it off or telling her "not now" made it worse & she just fell apart. ( your feelings about nursing you r toddler might get edgy too! I didn't likre it at all after 2-3 weeks...but it willcome and go.
*Let her nurse while laying in bed for about 15 minutes, then ask her if you can rub her back/belly ,hold her or pat her butt instead of nursing*....I think it took us about a week and a half before it worked...she would stop nursing and want it right back...so this you have to be patient with.
Now, almost 7 months later. My toddler doesn't ever nurse to sleep except at naptime. ( she'll only let me comfort her in other ways mentioned above if it is DARK in the room , thats how she learned it )
I hope that helps..it works for us..but you might have to modify it to fit your family needs
GOOD LUCK and hang in there..it gets easier