is anyone worried or scared about labor?

[sunnylady303]

I am 35w and 5 days and I am getting more and more worried about labor and giving birth. I spent a lot of my pregnancy worrying about dying in childbirth and leaving my little girl. (I am sort of an anxious person by nature - I worry about EVERYTHING). That has faded a little but I am just worried about how much work it is. I feel so tired and low energy - how in the world will I get through the hard work of birthing? I'm really struggling. I remember trying to push Samantha out and it went really quicky (like 35 minutes) but it was so hard and I just don't know if I am up to it again. I am so tired. A part of me is afraid I will just say, "OK - knock me out and take this child out of me." I'm sure I wouldn't, but that's how tired I feel. Anyone else have labor worries or who can sympathize with me?

[coloradoalice]

I am definiately worried about labor. I didn't have any labor last time before I ended up on pitocin, and then I had a c/s before pushing, so I really have no idea what to expect in either camp. I don' t know what to look for, how it will feel, or how I will react. It's just like having my first baby all over again!!! I am just trying to trust that my body will know what to do and that it will all be just fine, but I have to admit I think about it alot!!!

[SMR]

I wasn't... that is until Saturday when I started feeling these so called 'false' contractions.. now after 4 days of pretty constant pain - I'm having some doubts about myself being able to do this at all!

[Wugmama]

I'm not too worried about labor and delivery. Last time I was in labor for 3.5 days - all back labor, and pushed for over 2 hours, right on my 42 week day. I never shed a single tear or raised my voice. I wasn't afraid to begin with, and am less so now.

I am a little worried that I will have front labor this time and it may be worse, but everyone keeps telling me back labor is the worst and if I could get through that I could get through front.

But what IS worrying me is taking care of the new baby. I barely survived last time - I think I had PPD. Now I will have a 4 year old to boot. I will have help, but about the same amount of help as last time, plus the 4 year old. I'm afraid I won't make it.

My husband really hasn't changed in the last 4 years. And he keeps making helpful comments like, "I'm worried about you trying to take care of dd1 and a new baby" He really didn't want a second one.

~Tracy

[pinkmilk]

If you don't already have this book " Birthing From Within " then you should go out and get it! It illiminated many fears for me in my pregnancy with my dd. It is a very empowering book that should show you to trust your body and trust in the universe, that birth is natural and pain can be good and invigorating. It is full of activities and projects that you can do to work through your fears and ideas around giving birth. I found I really needed to focus on my feeling and spiritual ideas last pregnancy because I had alot of fear around birthing my girl. It stemed from some tragedies that happened between my sons' births and my conception of my daughter. ( An abortion, a couple miscarriages,) things that made me unconciously believe that I didn't deserve my precious little girl and would lose her in childbirth.
This pregnancy is completely different. I don't worry about the regular thing like pain and if I can handle it (although there is always a time durring labor; usually durring transition when you think you can't do it and you want something for pain) I worry more about giving birth in the hospital and weather or not my birth plan will be respected and followed.
Try to work through these fear feeling though and know that your body can do this. Find your power somewhere... find a picture or paint your own that represents power to you and take it with you to look at durring labor. It will really help you. Every time you look at it it will bring you to where you want to be.
Create a mantra... one that will empower you when you say it...

These are just a couple things that I do to keep me on the path of power, not fear. ( and I know it's not easy )
You can do it Sunnylady!!

[Hollin]

I've been surprised that I'm not worried about labor at all in terms of pain or anything. I just kind of figure I'll get through it like the majority of women on earth do. What I'm terrified of is having a sick or stillborn baby. I can't stop worrying about this and I don't really know why. Maybe that's why I'm not worried about the labor pain, though. I feel like I'm willing to go through anything as long as I can have an alive baby at the end.

[coloradoalice]

What I'm terrified of is having a sick or stillborn baby. I can't stop worrying about this and I don't really know why. Maybe that's why I'm not worried about the labor pain, though. I feel like I'm willing to go through anything as long as I can have an alive baby at the end.

Hollin-
Me too!! I think it's because Gracie did have a lot of problems when she was born, and I am terrified of that happening again. I would absolutly go through whatever it takes to avoid that again!!

Originally Posted by Wugmama

But what IS worrying me is taking care of the new baby. I barely survived last time - I think I had PPD. Now I will have a 4 year old to boot. I will have help, but about the same amount of help as last time, plus the 4 year old. I'm afraid I won't make it.

Tracy- You just articulated one of my biggest fears that I almost forgot about!! I had a really good case of PPD with Gracie, and I refused to acknowledge it until she was almost 6 months old. I really wish I had come to terms with things sooner, I went on Zoloft and it made things better so quickly. This time I am ready, and I will request something right away. James is also worried about it and has promised to be much more proactive with me should it occur again. I really feel like I missed out on a lot of the joy of her infancy because of the depression. It's really a shame. Don't be afraid to ask for help, it really does make a difference. I wasn't on the medication for very long, only about 5 months. It was a huge help.

[Wugmama]

Thanks Alice. s I did ask for help when my dd was over a year, but saw a terrible ob-gyn who said she woudn't give me anything unless I stopped nursing - which I now know wasn't necesarily necesary. At last this time my midwife is going to prepare my placenta into capsules for me to take. She believes that will really help ward off any ppd. It is just that my confidence is still shot from the last time. Hopefully we will both do better this time since we should be able to get the help we need right away if we need it!

~Tracy

[Persephone]

I was worried a lot earlier in the pregnancy about labor and the pain... and now, I feel much like Hollin does, that I'll get through it like pretty much every other woman on the planet... I may not be the most graceful birther, but I'll get through it. I'm still nervous, but I think I've psyched myself up for it... I'm ready.

And my fears about an unhealthy baby are almost nil too. I know my baby has a strong will to live, he wants to be here, I can just tell. So, yeah. Basically, I'm nervous but fearless, and ready.

[ehsclt]

I am not nervous about labor. In fact, I kind of look forward to it. But I am really nervous about pushing the baby out. My two babies were 8+ and 9+ lbs and I am nervous about the upper nines or 10 lbs this time. My first I pushed for 3.5 hours, my second I pushed for 25 very challenging minutes. Gosh, I hope this one is shorter. I am just not very good at pushing and I find it really hard.

[zjandosmom]

Emily- I too hate the pushing stage! Labor, bring it on! Pushing....no thanks. My last I only pushed for 5 min so I am hoping for another quick pushing phase. I think it is the utter lack of control I feel when you initially start to push that makes me feel panicky. The urge to push is so overpowering it freaks me out. Once I get on top of it and "confront" my initial fear it seems to be OK. That isthe only part I am not looking forward to. I have talked to my mw and dh about it so I am hoping this will only help me with the support and possible hlep with re-focusing I may need.

[Nature]

I am not afraid of labor at all. Pushing in itself doesn't bother me either. But I AM afraid of my tailbone snapping like it did last time. It was loud, and very painful. I can still remember vividly how it felt. It didn't fade away like all the other really painful parts of childbirth. So... yes, I am afraid. Increasingly so! But, I did talk to my OB and she plans on helping me find ways to lessen that pain when the time comes. Birthing in a different position, waterbirth, support...etc.

[MamaTaraX]

I'm not scared or worried. I look forward to it. It's an awesome, empowering experience! My only real "worry" is that it won't go quite as planned. I need this to go really well for my husband's sake. I'm sure it all be well though. I was watching a waterbirth video last night and I really started getting even more excited about having this baby. I always look forward to labor. Even when I'm in labor I'm pretty excited to be there (even if you can't tell because I'm a *little* whiney)

Namaste, Tara