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What aspect of your parenting has... - Page 4

Poll Results: What do you get the MOST criticism about?

 
  • 1% (5)
    breastfeeding at all
  • 11% (35)
    extended breastfeeding
  • 22% (66)
    co-sleeping
  • 9% (27)
    not doing cry-it-out sleep training
  • 1% (5)
    cloth diapers
  • 6% (18)
    babywearing/holding baby a lot
  • 15% (46)
    vaccination choices
  • 3% (10)
    circumcision choices
  • 1% (4)
    delaying solids
  • 9% (27)
    other food and diet-related issues
  • 10% (32)
    gentle discipline styles
  • 8% (25)
    other (please explain-- I couldn't think of anymore right now!)
300 Total Votes  
post #61 of 105
We don't get much flak...our relatives believe in vaxing but are not at all concerned that we don't do it. I think initially they believed we would regret co-sleeping but we're still loving it at 27 months and the topic rarely comes up.

Like others the worst problem I have had has been with food issues. DS is allergic to dairy, which manifested itself initially as a severe mood response. I kept getting a lot of garbage talk that he was spoiled and needed discipline, etc. At 16 months! I didn't get much respect for the need to avoid dairy for him until he started puking anytime he had cheese. Finally people started to believe me that dairy was a problem for him.
post #62 of 105
Although we were criticized or received negative comments from family and strangers regarding slinging, breastfeeding, and cosleeping, (in order of most to least negative comments received), the real hit was when our daughter began to read at a precociously early age.

From mother: [In reference to our daughter learning to read] "You don't know what a monster you've created."

From woman at an early childhood education center (yes, the irony has not escaped me): "You must work with her," (said with eyebrows archly raised). "A LOT." The implication being, of course, that we duct-tape her to a chair in the closet and shove workbooks under the door.

From former friend: "Have you ever read Einstein Didn't Use Flash Cards"?

At least it became obvious why we were going to homeschool.
post #63 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles Baudelaire
Although we were criticized or received negative comments from family and strangers regarding slinging, breastfeeding, and cosleeping, (in order of most to least negative comments received), the real hit was when our daughter began to read at a precociously early age.

From mother: [In reference to our daughter learning to read] "You don't know what a monster you've created."
Ummmm...huh?!?!?!
post #64 of 105
I've had negative comments about a few things: extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, not cio, cloth diapering. But for the purposes of the poll, the one I have had the most comments about is the gentle discipline. It seems to be the most visible part of my parenting practice. Other than the breastfeeding (which I was always very, very discreet about anyway because dd was such a fidgety nurser), no one really knew about the other things.
But since I interact with dd all the time, it's the most noticed, I suppose.

I don't understand why people feel as though they have the right to comment, though. : I especially hate the "shoulds". You should do this, you should do that, you really should do x before y gets out of control. ...
post #65 of 105
I picked holding/babywearing because my son was strapped to my body for a good year and that's what most people saw and had space to comment on.

Never heard a neg word about our choice not to circ - but I'm sure there are a lot of whispers about the co-sleeping, nursing into pregnancy, etc.

I will have to say I'm sure homebirthing would get most people up in a current but I have really not told many people and have shared our plans only with those we know will relate and have frankly lied to most other people who ask where I'm delivering.

I do get a lot of looks about the no-tv thing when it comes up, and the fact that I don't have any commercialized toys in my house. And a visitor once asked me if I had any normal food (I guess something for a mega-supermarket).

My mom is a great support but she will not stop sliding my ds candy here and there and has made him up a few cups of chocolate milk and makes sure he knows she always has ice cream for him. We aren't a dairy-free household, so it's the sugar/chocolate thing that gets me. And once she fed him a Lean Cusiune Mac n' cheese thing and when I couldn't get the neon yellow out of his clothes she commented that I should get "real" laundry detergent.
post #66 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtThePark
And once she fed him a Lean Cusiune Mac n' cheese thing and when I couldn't get the neon yellow out of his clothes she commented that I should get "real" laundry detergent.
Blech! Lean Cuisine is ickies lol plus it's Nastle. However, Amy's macaroni and cheese (the frozen stuff) is pretty tasty... not quite Annies (which we love here) but still pretty yummy and I haven't had any staining problems so far.

What does she mean by "real" laundry detergent anyway? I've used salt and vinegar (get lots of weird looks for that one) and Dr Bronners soap for laundry when I don't want to use my all free and clear and honestly they have pretty much the same cleaning power... maybe even more so with the natural stuff.
post #67 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by CryPixie83
Ummmm...huh?!?!?!
Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction -- she made it seem like I'd done some Victor Frankenstein thing on my kid and "made" her able to read early. Believe me, if I could "make" kids read early, I'd be "making" so much money it would be coming outta my ears and all of you folks could help me clean out those worn-out hundreds from my wallet.
post #68 of 105
Definitely vax. One would think that we were holding them out of the 53rd-story window over a pit of fire and brimstone surrounded by tormented alligators. We have tried to explain to MIL, and she nods enthusiastically and goes on and on about how much sense it makes. Then when she hears of anyone, anywhere, getting anything, she emails DH with subjects like, "This is what happens when you don't vax" or "Warning! Measles making a comeback!"

The others from my family who get haughty about the vax issues happen to be the same ones who all suffer from immune diseases, interestingly enough. I just say things like, "Immune systems are delicate, and I don't think we should tamper with them."

Now, when we announce our intentions to homeschool......that will be the big one.
post #69 of 105
A lot of people question our vaccination choices, but at least we did our research instead of letting a doctor give our newborn 3 shots!
Also, co-sleeping. I love sleeping with our baby boy. (8 months old) Most people in this country can't understand it yet but I think with time, this will change. Breastfeeding in the 50's was "unsanitary".Doctors said this!!!
I think alot about AP is new to most and lucky me, I read about it when I was pregnant. Now, I can't imagine parenting any other way and I feel blessed.
post #70 of 105
I said vax, too. My Mom's cousin is a nurse and lectured me for about 30 minutes about the dangers and horrifics of polio--all long distance as well! I have aunts who think that feeding my DD organic is a waste of time, as is making my own baby food. I do have an aunt who did not co-sleep in the beginning, but her 8 year old DD likes to sleep with her now. She's been really supportive of our co-sleeping. My brother thinks that DD belongs in a crib, not in bed with me, and that "You think she lives in the 19th century..." because I use cloth diapers as back-up in our EC journey. My Mother has given up on most of her complaints, I guess now she trusts my judgment, but she still thinks that I should be putting every food available into my daughter. "What else can you give her? She's not eating enough." I tell her breastmilk is the best nutrition for DD, but she still thinks DD should be eating more. DD is 33 pounds at 15 months, I do not think she's malnurished!
post #71 of 105
Not extended breastfeeding, but child-led weaning; I've gotten only a few backhanded remarks from my family (nothing huge, just jokes about how BeanBean would still be nursing at 10 ) but this is the one issue that I actually had someone outside of the family go off on. She basically said that the only reason that children ever stop nursing is because their parents make them, and that it's not possible for a child to self-wean (um, both of my kids have now done just that... ).

I've also gotten a fair amount of crap for nursing in public. I'm not shy, but I don't go out of my way to wave my boobs around at people-- what's the big deal?! I occasionally get flack for my very relaxed discipline style, but that's nothing on the nursing in public...

None of our other parenting choices have even gotten eyebrows from my family, and while a few have gotten eyebrows from FIL, MIL has been very supportive of all (and keeps her man in check most of the time ). My mother has always been a huge proponent of cosleeping, cloth diapering, breastfeeding, and homeschooling. She's not at all crunchy, either.
post #72 of 105
I get the "she is still sleeping in your room????? " all the time.

I voted not CIO/sleep training as we kinda co sleep, but DD sleeps in her crib, that is side car'd to our bed. She likes me to be there when she falls asleep either rubbing her back, patting her back or just sitting there (her pick). Most of my family cannot fathom this and has suggested we just "put her in a dark room alone and let her learn to 'comfort herself'.

that noise.

I, as a adult, need DH in bed with me to fall asleep. In fact when we first were living together I could only fall asleep if DH was reading in bed....cause the light was on. When DH travels either my dog sleeps with me or I toss and turn until the wee hours, and end up getting 4 hours of sleep. It sucks to be sleeping alone....why would I do that to a child who needs me.
post #73 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by PadmaMorgana
II, as a adult, need DH in bed with me to fall asleep. In fact when we first were living together I could only fall asleep if DH was reading in bed....cause the light was on. When DH travels either my dog sleeps with me or I toss and turn until the wee hours, and end up getting 4 hours of sleep. It sucks to be sleeping alone....why would I do that to a child who needs me.
When DH travels, most people will comment "DD is sleeping with you while DH is gone, right?" So it's okay when he's not home but when he is home, she has to go back to being alone??? That makes no sense to me. We co-sleep so dd always sleeps with us.
Most people then assume "Well, if your child sleeps with you, how do you and your husband have an intimate relationship?"
post #74 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by loon13
Most people then assume "Well, if your child sleeps with you, how do you and your husband have an intimate relationship?"
Right, because the only place you can have sex is in bed

I love it when people ask questions like that to people who have lots of kids... "here's your sign"
post #75 of 105
I picked "other" and it would be EC. By a long ways.

When I started it, DH got the "How long do you think she'll do this?" comments. After 12 months, we were still getting the "Isn't your house smelly?" comments, even though everybody picked our house as the family gathering center constantly and nobody noticed anything. When DD graduated at 16 months, I got the "You're hiding it somehow. She's not really reliable."

Then the other day, a SIL asked me while she and another SIL were fighting to change their daughter's diapers "You're not really going to go through all of that again on your next child are you? Diapering is so much easier!"

So even though my daughter's been completely reliable in panties since 16 months old, I'm still getting comments about it and how it can't really work. Blech.
post #76 of 105
my parents think i should encourage dd to eat meat. she won't . i'm not a vegetarian. i'll eat meat. but she won't .
if i want her to behave i should just "wack" her
oh, and i better get her out of my bed or she'll be there "forever"
post #77 of 105
I guess it'd be gentle discipline, not spanking, and then babywearing. I had a woman stare at me so hatefully one time while I was putting dd 2 in the sling. She looked at me like I was sitting there beating the crap out of my child or something.

Really though, no one knows all our parenting decisions except my mom. She supports all of them 100%, and even got on to me over Christmas because I said that I hadn't been cloth diapering my youngest dd lately.
post #78 of 105
I wish there was a multiple choice!
Co-sleeping, breastfeeding over 10 months, & homeschooling.
BUT
the biggest biggest issue my family has is my Unassisted pregnancy and childbirth.
These are mamas who are so into medical intervention they send holiday cards to their anesthesiologists!
However, I am a hero among the men in the family. They all think I am some superwoman to birth without meds.
Oh if only they understood. I'm not super- just a woman.
post #79 of 105
I voted vaccinations. I have only had a couple of negative things said about our decision to not vax but that would be the only aspect of my parenting that has ever been questioned. These came from someone in the medical field who does not have children and has never researched vaccines just believed the info taught during schooling.

And I am with the pp, my mom agrees 100% with all my parenting choices. Well I guess she would do some things differently herself but she stands behind the choices I make Always very supportive no matter how crazy my ideas may seem to the mainstream parents
post #80 of 105
We don't really talk about our choices to a lot of other people. It just rarely comes up and I don't see the need to tell people where my kids sleep, how they are born, when they DON'T get shots or how long they breastfeed. None of anyone's darn business but ours.

However.....on the rare occassions when it has come up, Co-sleeping and extended breastfeeding are the biggies. Apparently if a child sleeps with you, they'll never leave and if they are still nursing at 3, that's gross and they'll NEVER stop! So I pictured my 30 year old son coming home for 'lunch' and dropping his keys on our nightstand before climbing in bed with my husband and I. Then I have to wonder if people REALLY believe the things that come out of their mouths?
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