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What aspect of your parenting has... - Page 5

Poll Results: What do you get the MOST criticism about?

 
  • 1% (5)
    breastfeeding at all
  • 11% (35)
    extended breastfeeding
  • 22% (66)
    co-sleeping
  • 9% (27)
    not doing cry-it-out sleep training
  • 1% (5)
    cloth diapers
  • 6% (18)
    babywearing/holding baby a lot
  • 15% (46)
    vaccination choices
  • 3% (10)
    circumcision choices
  • 1% (4)
    delaying solids
  • 9% (27)
    other food and diet-related issues
  • 10% (32)
    gentle discipline styles
  • 8% (25)
    other (please explain-- I couldn't think of anymore right now!)
300 Total Votes  
post #81 of 105
I voted other because lately the comments have been about dd not watching cartoons, not having "learning" toys (aka electronic stuff that talks back to her) and her not having "character" stuff - especially princess stuff. The comments are probably because everyone asked what she "needed" for Christmas and we said underwear and pjs.

My mom still got her Dora the Explorer underwear :

Other moms have said "well, she is going to watch tv eventually" - um, yeah - she will probably get a tatoo sometime down the road, as well. Doesn't mean that 2 is the time to do it.

But it was worth the criticism to not get one single thing that required batteries this year
post #82 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by PerennialMom
Then I have to wonder if people REALLY believe the things that come out of their mouths?
In a word: No.

Too funny about your 30 year old son climbing into bed with you and dh...do you think his SO and kids will snuggle in too? You're going to need a HUGE bed!
post #83 of 105
I picked babywearing - I have gotten quite a few comments along the lines of "You can't carry that baby forever" . The answer would be co-sleeping, but we just don't tell people we do it. It's noone else's business anyway.
post #84 of 105
It would sound bad if I said I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who's hearing "helpful advice" on practically every aspect of my parenting. I guess because I'm 41 and have been working with kids for almost 30 years folks just think I need a bit more information.

But the winner, hands down, has to be nutrition. DHS at the door with Child Abuse charges because we're malnourishing the poor kid counts as criticism, right? :
post #85 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heffernhyphen

But the winner, hands down, has to be nutrition. DHS at the door with Child Abuse charges because we're malnourishing the poor kid counts as criticism, right? :
WHAT?? What for?
post #86 of 105
The first sentence of the complaint, which came straight from my neighbor's lips, said," She's not giving him milk. She's still breastfeeding him even though he's a year old." This from a drug rep who not only preached the benefits of formula to "fatten up" my skinny boy, but actually gave me cans of it.

He's 2 1/2 now, still breastfed and formula free, and miraculously alive and well. In fact, I can count his brief and minor illnesses on one hand, with a finger or two tied behind my back.
post #87 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heffernhyphen
The first sentence of the complaint, which came straight from my neighbor's lips, said," She's not giving him milk. She's still breastfeeding him even though he's a year old." This from a drug rep who not only preached the benefits of formula to "fatten up" my skinny boy, but actually gave me cans of it.
They actually made a home visit for that??? That's insane... What did they say to you? ugh.
post #88 of 105
Oh honey, it was a full scale investigation . . . background checks, inspecting our house, checking our fridge and cabinets for food, questioning our ped (who thankfully was able to explain that, yes, he's little . . . his mother weighs 112 pounds . . . genetics and all . . . but perfectly healthy . . . ), questioning me for over an hour. Really bad. But when the complaint claims that a kid is being malnourished, as this one did, they have to investigate within 24 hours. Luckily the case worker took one look at Daniel, who had been out with his Dad for over an hour while I was questioned, and told us not to worry.

The Neighbor is a control freak who has a parenting style about as opposite mine as humanly possible. I drive her crazy what with my incessant breastfeeding and perverted co-sleeping.
post #89 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heffernhyphen
Oh honey, it was a full scale investigation . . . Luckily the case worker took one look at Daniel, who had been out with his Dad for over an hour while I was questioned, and told us not to worry.

The Neighbor is a control freak who has a parenting style about as opposite mine as humanly possible. I drive her crazy what with my incessant breastfeeding and perverted co-sleeping.
Eek! That's terrifying. What a horrible experience Guess I know which neighbor doesn't get a "Happy Holidays" anymore
post #90 of 105
A tie between gentle discipline and TV/movies.

Everyone around us has been wonderfully supportive about no-circ, bfeeding, baby wearing, cosleeping and nip. But I've yet to find people that understand why we are reception TV free, and why our 5 and 3 year old do not watch Disney movies.

(They do watch dvds of Reading Rainbow, Dora, Bob the Builder, Little Bear, Scholastic Books.)

My parents are particularly critical of parenting without rewards and punishments for behavior. They think that getting to the root of why the child is misbehaving (feeling discouraged, hungry, sick, needing attention etc) is basically spoiling the child. They see the goal of parenting as obedience. Our goal is for the child to be him/herself and cooporate with the family.
post #91 of 105
Our biggest thing is circumcision. We heard the most critisism from friends on this issue and from my husbands side of the family.

The next would be vaccinations, also from friends. We have done three different things when it came to vaccinations: none at all, selective, and on schedule -- and no matter what we choose someone has to put in their 2 Cents.

Kim
post #92 of 105
For us, it's cosleeping, hands down. I cannot even estimate the the number of times I've heard, "But you'll never get him out of your bed!" My parents slept with all five of us, and I assure you all, we did eventually get out of their bed.

If I told people about half the stuff we do I'm sure I'd hear all about it. The pediatrician doesn't know about the cosleeping or the selective vaxing (this is much easier with a toddler than with a baby!). When I tell people I never hit (and would never hit) my son I sometimes get negative comments, but cosleeping wins for sheer quantity of stupid people telling me my business.
post #93 of 105
breastfeeding at all--nevermind that I nursed one for two years (weaned when I was 5mos pregnant) and the other for three, the issue was that I was doing it, not the pregnancy or the age of the child.

I think it was such a big issue b/c it was the first and most obvious. After I did that, vax and gd and "extended" nursing (and now homeschooling,) were anti-climactic.
post #94 of 105
I voted vax choices, because that's probably the topic I talk about most since I no longer BF or have an infant for that matter.

But when I was pg I got a lot of flack for homebirthing. Still haven't gotten much about homeschooling but we're still new to it. I got nasty comments about EBF, but only from a person I was telling about it after the fact. While dd was an infant I certainly got crap about CIO, but not vaccinating is something we will always have questions to answer on since it is something that will stick with us for life.
post #95 of 105
I picked vax - people act like I'm denying my children food!

This was really hard, as it seems for a lot of others. I've gotten comments on extended BFing, what we eat, umm co-sleeping, my even just thinking about homeschooling. The list could go on and on. I live in a pretty enlightened area however there are always those who are quick to judge.
post #96 of 105
Cosleeping, definitely. My mom thinks we're making a big mistake still "letting" DS come into our bed when he wakes up in the middle of the night (he starts the night out in his own toddler bed), my friends all seem to think I'm nuts and DH and I get no privacy (though no one has really said anything, I can tell by their mmmmms, and interestings, or lack of response at all )...

...but just last night, DH came to bed after DS had joined us, climbed in and DS snuggled up against him. DH sighed happily and said, "ooh, he's toasty warm, I love when he leans up against me" and fell asleep right away.

We both our middle of the night interloper, and have no intentions of stopping until he's good and ready!
post #97 of 105
I haven't had a lot of negative comments about anything. I get some negativity from my sister (this is what she lives for) about breastfeeding (not extended - 21 months - but extended in her eyes), cloth diapering (it makes her angry because she claims it's too much work and won't even try) and cosleeping. They're not really that critical, for the most part...more of an implication that it's too much work and she's too busy to do all that (she has three small children, while I only have two). She's a bit...odd.

DS1 is in public school, but we're planning to homeschool dd & ds2. My sister doesn't know that yet, but I already know all hell is going to break loose. I've heard her go on about my cousin who homeschools. Fortunately, I don't much care what she says about it.

I don't discuss cosleeping or vax (I've only refused a few) with people I don't know well.

I did have an online acquaintance tell me that uncircumsized men are freaks.
post #98 of 105
My vote was 'other'. I haven't really had any criticism about parenting. But then I bought DS (21m) a doll. *horrors* Now I hear it from DH and FIL everytime I engage DS in playing wih his doll. And it's so cute in a little *blue* outfit. DS gives him a bottle, hugs and kisses him, and is learning body part names.
post #99 of 105
People try to criticize me about not vaxing but a simple "When you lose a child to a vaccination, then you can talk to me about it" usually shuts them right up. My family is very supportive of my anti-vax stance.

I guess second are our food and discipline choices. People get freaked out that we eat a lot of organic fruits/veggies, milk, chicken, beef because they organic is weird. I think eating something soaked in pesticides and God knows what else is weird. I stopped spanking over 8 months ago and of course I'm told that I have to spank in order to have a "good kid". He wasn't a "good kid" when he was spanked and he isn't a "good kid" most of the time now. He's 5--they're not "good" at that age because they're 5! Yes, it's frustrating when he ignores me or talks back but I'm not going to hit him for it!

Third is probably baby wearing/cloth diapering. People just seem to think both are strange and that cloth diapers are unsanitary. I think clogging up the Earth with used disposable diapers is unsanitary. I've had people tell me to take my daughter out of the Mei Tai and let her walk--she's not even a year old! It's not like she can walk very far or keep up.

Homeschooling gets us a lot of bizarre looks and comments. It's always, "How are they going to be socialized? They're going to be freaks!" Yeah buddy, and you turned out sooooo well and apparently learned how to talk out of your @ss in public school since you're making these ridiculous comments.
post #100 of 105
Until recently - Cosleeping and not CIO.

Recently, I have felt like parenting is more criticized on MDC than IRL because I am not homeschooling.

BJ
Barney & Ben
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