I had a bad mommy moment

[Jilian]

DS got a train table from my mother for Christmas. I put it together and it took me about 3 hours in all. Today he knocked it all down and the pieces went everywhere then wanted me to put it back together. I waited a while then attempted to put it back together, but cannot seem to find the directions. I finally (after about an hour) got it pretty much back together and DS starts smashing the trains on the tracks and breaking them apart again. Instead of taking the GD approach I yelled at him and kicked the train table. The pieces fell back onto the floor and one of the tracks broke. I was soooooo frustrated because I had spent soo much time trying to put it back together.

I feel like such a jerk now. I'm gluing the broken piece back together and my DS is watching a baby einstein movie. I just need a few mins to myself. It's been a trying day today. I never act out in anger in front of my DS like that, I don't know what got into me Did I just scar my DS for life?

[juicylucy]

you had a human moment. DOn't beat yourself up about it. Your son won't be scarred for life just because mama lost her cool for a second. I aspire to be GD, but I also try and go easy on myself when I don't respond as perfectly as I would want to!

[Fuamami]

Yeah, don't beat yourself up over it, but I'd put it away too. He was just telling you he's not old enough for it, don't punish him for it, just listen to him.

[Crunchier]

:

I'm having similar moments with Ben. He's easily overwhelmed, and has been EXTREMELY distracted the past few days. He's been inundated with fancy gifts and excessive sugar. I just yelled at him--had to restrain myself from grabbing his arm roughly, we both took a timeout, then we had a talk about having things and listening. I told him I thought he had too many things, and it was making it hard for him to listen and do things. He agreed and asked me to put his toys away I said, no let's just try harder, stop eating candy and see how we do. He agreed to try harder.

ONE MINUTE later we were right back where we started with me following him around the room with a pair of undies as he squirmed away from me. : I talked to him again about listening, put the undies on and sent him out of the room. I packed up everything that is over a week old. I felt like the Grinch

He walked in and said "This room is so snazzy! I have so much room to play!"

Right now he is throwing his train set around the room. He promised to clean up every piece when he is done. I doubt that he is actually capable of fulfilling that promise, so the trains will likely be joining the other toys in a couple of hours. Perhaps I'll pack up a big basket of toys to leave at the grandparents' house so they'll get some use.

[Jilian]

After the whole yelling explosion was over and I had a minute to calm down I started wondering if maybe the train table was too overwhelming for him or maybe for an older child. I'm not sure he knows exactly how to play with it. We had a talk and I apologized for yelling and told him I was sorry. He understood and said "It's not ok to yell, mommy angry wit me?" I told him I was not angry with him and that I was just upset. I told him I needed a few minutes alone and he went into the other room to play for about ten minutes. He then came back and we talked a little more.

I just think it's silly that I get mad at him for knocking the train on the floor then I go and do the same thing. I'm being a hypocrite. Next time I'll skip over the yelling and go right to the "mommy needs a minute alone" part.

[j924]

My ds, 29mos, received one for Christmas as well. It is an excercise in frustration. The tracks do not stay together with normal toddler use, and then I start raving like some sort of lunatic and this ugly cycle commences over something that was supposed to be fun I made a teeny version of the track for now with no high parts. Hopefully this weekend we can glue the track together and the dream of the happy train can come true. Hugs to you mama. I've felt truly insane since setting the thing up.

[oliversmum2000]

i think you have done great you have recognised your trigger and found a solution that works for you both.

instead of dismissing your childs behaviour as 'bad' you have looked deeper and thought it through i think you have taught your son wonderful coping and problem solving skills

[DevaMajka]

Awww. I don't think you scarred him for life. I think you had a natural reaction, and it came out wrong. And I'm sure that by you apologizing, and explaining what happened, and that your reaction was because you got "upset" (and not at him) that it could very well have been a learning experience- for both of you.

I'm pretty sure we all have had times where we're just totally shocked at what we did. I know I have! I just try to make things right, and don't let it get to me. Just do better the next time, kwim?
And it always helps to remember that in my WORST moment, I'm many times better than most mainstream parents are in general. lol (ok, that doesn't make things better, but it does make me feel a bit better about the situation)

[happymomma]

I am totally not laughing at you....just with you. I personally don't care when the tracks get destroyed. My dh? It drives him insane. Of course, he is the one who spent all the time putting it together so he has a right. I told him that we were going to put numbers on the backs of the tracks for ease of assembly. He goes on and on how the company should only have like 3 bends of tracks etc This is what he looks like everytime ds messes it up and asks dh to fix it.

I just have to stand back and laugh at the whole thing. I mean, its a train table.

That said. No of course you did not scar him! You taught him that you were human which is great! And you taught him what to do after he loses his cool.

[Crunchier]

I think of Ben's track as a puzzle that he can build in different configurations. We just don't use the tall parts. It's much easier if it's on a nice flat surface. I put his first (big) set together once, and it was such a pita I never attempted it again.

[mamachandi]

Originally Posted by j924

My ds, 29mos, received one for Christmas as well. It is an excercise in frustration. The tracks do not stay together with normal toddler use, and then I start raving like some sort of lunatic and this ugly cycle commences over something that was supposed to be fun I made a teeny version of the track for now with no high parts. Hopefully this weekend we can glue the track together and the dream of the happy train can come true. Hugs to you mama. I've felt truly insane since setting the thing up.

I have to go and look for it but they have track connectors to hold the tracks togetherv at vulnerable places in the track...
OK... www.squirreltracks.com
they have track clips to keep the train from coming apart

by the way-all mamas have moments like these-BELIEVE me!

[Monkeyfeet]

[PuppyFluffer]

We have a train table, it makes me nuts too.

As for the track clips, the smart little kiddos we have can figure them out fairly quickly but they do help to keep things together better.

We got dd a nice wooden barn for Christmas and we packed the train away and are using the table for for the barn and horses now.

[MiamiMami]

You could hot glue the tracks down. It might squelch some creative play but it will be a big help.