I found I was more gung-ho with #1 - yk? Which is funny, b/c that's when I knew the least. It's like the more you know, the more you know you don't know
For me anyway!
I envy those of you who have had a more natural, attached childhood. I had some of the basics: was CDed, BFed, my mom stayed home but I also was not gently disciplined, ate crap (one of parent's favorite staples was veg-all - okay people, just b/c it says veg does not mean it's healthy! LOL), didn't co-sleep, etc. How neat to have that be your "normal" rather than what I see as "typical" which is pretty mainstream.
I'm kind of looked at (in my family) as the weird one. I don't really mind b/c I'm the only one of my siblings with kids (I think it would be really hard to smile and nod when it comes to family esp. your nieces and nephews). My parents are the kind of people who think that there is only one "correct" way from point A to point B and since "I turned out alright" seem personally offended when I make a choice differently than they did as if I'm saying they were crappy or something. And they see me as very militant and treat me as if I'm always on the defensive even when I'm not. And I'm sure I worry them a lot. I'm homebirthing this time and they are so worried about me. That makes me feel a little bit bad b/c no matter what evidence I provide them not to worry about, they are still going to worry. And I just think what if one of my dd's grows up to be a c-section-on-demand mama - I'd be worried about her and I feel badly for my folks b/c it's kind of like the same thing to them.
I digress. The really GREAT thing is that I have found a circle of like-minded mamas IRL and that makes all the difference in the world. Not only do I share the natural/attached thing with my best friend, but we are both devout catholics. It's unbelievable the difference that can make in your parenting and just the day-to-day being a mom thing. We lived in the same town, but ironically, I met her thru MDC. And I also have the same thing in an online group that formed out of the spirituality board here at MDC. People look at me like I'm crazy (including dh) but my best friends are a group of about a dozen women from all over the US and Canada who I talk to every day online. All crunchy catholics. Having that support makes it so much easier to do the "smile and nod" when the world gets to me b/c at least I know that (IMO) there are "sane" people out there!
That would be my recommendation to the first time mamas - I would guess we have some, right? Get yourself a support circle of other like-minded mamas whether IRL or online b/c IME your childless friends, or your friends or family with children that do things *really* differently, and even your dh just aren't going to cut it when you start having to make and deal with and stick to these decisions every day. I love my dh. I love my family. But there just ain't no one like another mama "on the same page" to get you through the day...