Why not homeschool? - Page 2

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Originally Posted by CinnamonDeMarco

The schools with the best reputation are so expenisive my entire pay check would only pay tuition. If I had another child I would have to take them out of the school. I just don't think it would work.

Don't let the money stop you before investigating your options. The private, expensive school my DS attends has scholarship funds available, but you have to ask. They don't have enough to advertise it, but they do have enough for 2-3 kids in each grade to get some or all of tuition paid for. We are paying 1/3 of the tuition, plus doing some in-kind work which would be about another 1/3. None of this would have happened if I hadn't asked about it. ASK before you ASSUME -- you might be really pleased.

[jkpmomtoboys]

I was contemplating homeschooling my oldest, but he is in our local public school and the main reason is that after applications and interview we got into a wonderful Sudbury-esque school-within-a-school at our highly rated public school that's 3 blocks away. The program is a dream and we are very lucky.

Additionally, my son loves school and the friends he makes there and we are extremely fortunate in that he has 3 teachers who are kind, loving and very, very qualified to be his alternate authority figures.

However, there are still aspects of institutional learning that I don't like--such as standing in line to go here and there, but dh has a good point when he says a lot of that is just part of life and it's good to be able to do those things. Who knows.

We will see what happens when he is in 3rd grade and there is some differentiation based on the results of the GATE test, but for now I'm very happy.

[wildmonkeys]

My oldest ds is in public K. I am still considering homeschooling because I miss him and I really enjoy teaching him things (I think I am pretty good at it, but have also worried about my lack of an education in education)

Thus far we have elected to send him to ps for a number of reasons.

DH and I went to ps - we really enjoyed it and each had positive experiences in really different environments...we feel that the constant exposure to people who were so different was an important part of our life journeys.

DH and I each had a few really amazing teachers that sparked interests in us that our parents just didn't get DH and I met in college history classes - we have similar academic strengths and interests....I like the idea of the kids learning math/science from people that liked it enough to study it in college

We live in well-performing, diverse school district and feel happy (thus far) with what we have observed at dss school.

We like the idea of community - of being part of our community school.

We are personally uncomfortable with the concept of private school - we understand why people use them and do not criticize this choice in most cases - but having spent time in a third world country where public schools were essentially nonexistent has left a long-term impact on us...

Finally, I have a strong personality. DS is super quiet though very social...he likes to be part of group activity though he isn't much of a talker. Until he started school, I made his friends for him. I would start to chat with a mom at the playground or wherever find out we were on the same page about this that or the other and eventually start doing stuff with the kids on purpose....since ds has started school he has picked his own friends - he actually likes them better

I think there are probably an endless number of reasons for going either direction - good luck deciding - I hope these responses are helpful.

BJ
Barney & Ben

[2GR8KIDS]

My son is in public school and my daughter will be, too, when she's old enough.

- We live in an excellent school district with very skilled teachers. I have a professional degree and have "taught" in various contexts, but I don't think that I have the level of skill that these teachers have.

- My son is more receptive to some subjects when they come from someone other than his parents. We tried working on his handwriting over the summer at home, and it was a big source of conflict. Within a couple weeks of school beginning, his handwriting had improved dramatically. I don't want my son's home life to be full of conflict and, for us, I think homeschooling would create a lot of conflict.

- My son is super social. Although most homeschoolers seem to make great efforts to build a social network for their kids, I think my son is happier with friends he sees for a long period on a daily basis. He has been able to develop much deeper friendships at school than he ever did in all the playgroups and classes we have done.

- We still have many, many opportunities to learn at home. We do a ton of trips, projects, games, and other "learning" activities. I have a lot of curriculum materials and do a lot of research on homeschooling. But we are able to focus on the things that most interest us and have fun, rather than feeling pressured to complete a curriculum.

- My husband, daughter, and I have also benefitted greatly from being part of a school community. We have made many really good friends and, the great thing is, they all live in the neighborhood!

- I enjoy working part-time.

[CinnamonDeMarco]

Goodness, these posts are giving me so much to think about. I am going to print them out, read them, and really think about them. I'm too tired to do it right now. Thanks Mamas.

[EFmom]

I don't have much to add that others haven't already stated, other than I'd rather set fire to my own hair than homeschool. Personally, if others want to homeschool, that's fine with me, but it is totally not what I want for my kids. Unschooling is not a philosophy I buy into at all. If I did, maybe I'd consider homeschooling, but otherwise I don't really see the point.

We live in a great district. We bought our house because of it. Both dh and I are products of public schools and we got a fabulous education, so I don't have the overwhelmingly negative opinions of ps that many do. I also have 19 nieces and nephews at present count and most have been happily public schooled.

One of the things I like very much about public school is that my kids are exposed to much more diversity than they would be if we homeschooled or private schooled.

I don't mean to imply that we find public school to be perfect. I can't think of too many things in life that are--certainly homeschooling can have its share of problems, too. I have a friend who spends $20,000/year to send his nine year old to a very exclusive private school and it's not perfect either.

We are very involved in our children's education, and we supplement a ton at home.

[CinnamonDeMarco]

Originally Posted by EFmom

I'd rather set fire to my own hair than homeschool.

Woah!

[Lillian J]

The last thing I'd do is barge in here and try to proselytize for homeschooling - no, no, no - but for those who do have some questions, this is an article by a college professor and editor of Paths of Learning magazine - a magazine that covers all paths of education - that articulately addresses some of the concerns brought up here: Am I Really Qualified to Teach My Own Children? Some Thoughts on This Common and Provocative Question, by Richard Prystowsky. Again, I'm not here to debate, but just to offer another point of view for those who might have some misconceptions about what homeschooling is/can be... I don't think homeschooling is for everyone at all (and I like the sound of that Sudbury school, by the way), and there are obviously perfectly good reasons for people to choose schools of various kinds, but I would hate to see misconceptions stand about the homeschooling choice.

My own feeling is that children, being people, are their own best teachers even in school situations. A parent or teacher doesn't need to be an expert on a subject in order to assist a child's learning it. It's a wonderful and exhilarating thing to provide the means and freedom for a child to research and absorb things in his own best way, and I think a good teacher is simply someone who can best facilitate that. My son is in college now, and one of the points he made in his application essays, which were highly regarded by at least one admissions director who commented on them, is how important it was in his own development to be able to have the experience of having that kind of freedom in learning. Lillian

[Charles Baudelaire]

Originally Posted by CinnamonDeMarco

Thanks for the responses. I read some good reasons I had never thought of before. For instance

Having more than one teacher
structure
learning things that are boring to you (prepares you for college and employment)
I never thought of those as positive things about school, but it makes sense.

The responses were all different and it was really interesting to read them.

Any more replies?

I am having a very hard time seeing this as a positive.

[CinnamonDeMarco]

A Message to Lurking Homeschoolers and Nay-say-ers

This thread was on the right track and I don't want it to take a wrong turn.

I wrote in post #4 "I am not going to criticize your reasons or try to change your mind."

Some Mamas laid their cards on the table and I don't want them to regret it. I want this to be safe place to share their reasons for sending their children to school. I don't want them to feel like they must defend themselves or get ready to debate.

If you, homeschoolers, were discussing why you homeschool on a thread, you would expect support. You wouldn't like it if someone wrote "I don't think that is a good reason. Rethink that." It would be extra irritating coming from someone who sends their kids to school. No matter if you said "I like homeschooling because my kids wear pajamas until noon." It's one of your reasons. (a nice perk if you ask me) You shouldn't have to defend it because someone who promotes schools picks it out just to make a point.

Please don't use this thread to promote homeschooling. And don't think you can hint, and word it in a friendly way, and then no one will know what you are really doing.

And when I post on the homeschooling boards don't flame me. I like those boards too. Lets all be friends, okay?

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by CinnamonDeMarco

Please don't use this thread to promote homeschooling. And don't think you can hint, and word it in a friendly way, and then no one will know what you are really doing.

And when I post on the homeschooling boards don't flame me. I like those boards too. Lets all be friends, okay?

I...uh... : can't help but wonder if you're speaking of me, since I'm the only one here I know to be a homeschooler. If so, I want to assure you I can't imagine wasting my time running around trying to promote homeschooling for people who aren't interested. And I'd have nothing to gain, even if that kind of weird crusade did enlist someone. But, on the other hand, I hate to see misconceptions spread about what homeschooling is and how it works. If you come across a homeschooling thread in which someone is presenting innocent misconceptions about one sort of school system or other, I think you should feel welcome to correct the information. Otherwise, people reading the post are forming views based on misinformation. I hesitated to say anything at all here, because I'd heard rumblings about a comment someone made in another thread, and I wasn't sure how much participation was welcome - but I just couldn't sit on my hands and say nothing when I saw some misinformation. I think we're all in this together, whether our kids or in or out of school. I'm not just being polite or friendly in saying that - it's just the way it is, and our kids will be running this world together in the long run.

EDITED TO NOTE: I just reread this thread to see how it might have looked as if I were highjacking it to promote homeschooling. I guess it might have had to do with my saying you don't need to be an expert on various subjects to homeschool effectively, and I'm sorry if that seemed to be baiting debate, but I didn't mean it that way. That dynamic just happens to be something I have personal experience with, and I thought some who felt that way might appreciate my input. I had a whole lot of misconceptions about homeschooling before I began and even after I began, and I've always wished people had respected me enough to feel I'd be able to appreciate and make my own decisions about their input instead of feeling I might be offended by it and keeping silent while they watched me bumble along on my own. Lillian

[Katie Bugs Mama]

I have really mixed feelings about homeschooling.

On the one hand, I'm very sympathetic to the whole unschooling/child-led learning ideology (or at least to my limited understanding of it.) Even though dd attends a part-time preschool, I consider us to be a closeted unschooling family because we follow dd's lead by helping her to learn about whatever subjects interest her. She's learned an amazing amount this way.

On the other hand, I can't imagine "really" homeschooling because I think that we would drive each other crazy if we were cooped up together all day every day. We each need our space and distance, even though (maybe because?) we are very attached to one another and have a very close relationship.

We are in the process of trying to find a good school for dd for next year. The public schools around here aren't an option because most of them--including the one that we're zoned for--are dismal and because the few "good" ones are run like work camps, with one 20 minute recess a day and endless, soul-killing worksheets, and 30 kids to a kindergarten teacher. Even though I don't want to homeschool, I would do it before I would send her to one of these places.

Right now, we're leaning towards a really wonderful, progressive private school that actually comes very close to my ideal child-driven curriculum. It has amazing facilities, emphasizes hands-on learning and learning through exploration, and has a low student/teacher ratio. DD would not be forced to sit quietly at a desk all day and would not have to do worksheets or take standardized tests. The biggest downside is that the student body is not nearly as racially diverse as we would like, and the tuition is through the roof.

[CinnamonDeMarco]

Yeah I was thinking of you Lillian. You and others who are tempted to post similarly.

Reasons to use school = Reasons not to homeschool. You could pick every reason to use school listed on this post, and provide a link to a homeschooling website that says it isn't a good reason. It's a myth, a misconception, or it can be overcome.

[Charles Baudelaire]

Originally Posted by Lillian J

I...uh... : can't help but wonder if you're speaking of me, since I'm the only one here I know to be a homeschooler. If so, I want to assure you I can't imagine wasting my time running around trying to promote homeschooling for people who aren't interested.

Actually, Lillian, I thought she was talking about my post here:

Originally Posted by
Originally Posted by CinnamonDeMarco

Thanks for the responses. I read some good reasons I had never thought of before. For instance

Having more than one teacher
structure
learning things that are boring to you (prepares you for college and employment)I never thought of those as positive things about school, but it makes sense.

The responses were all different and it was really interesting to read them.

Any more replies?

Originally Posted by charles baudelaire

I am having a very hard time seeing this as a positive.

In response to Cinnamon, I do not believe that either my comment or Lillian's took the discussion off track. It was a genuine reaction to something I found literally incredible.

You will also note that my post did not mention homeschooling. In fact, I believe that what you said -- specifically, that school makes you "learn[] things that are boring to you [to] prepare[] you for college and employment" is not only a searing indictment of school, but a wholly depressing outlook on future education and one's job. If one weren't already homeschooling, a comment like that might well make that person reconsider the value of school.

I genuinely meant it when I said -- and I reiterate -- "I am having a very hard time seeing this as a positive." Would you mind explaining, if you choose, why intellectual stultification is in any way a "positive" - except maybe from the perspective of the liquor and antidepressant companies?

[LindaCl]

We don't homeschool because we found a school we think is a better choice for our children (and their parents).

I wasn't a parent who was particularly "picky" about education to begin with. I had a what I consider a really good education from the one choice in the town where I grew up. My mother and father went there. My grandparents went there. My great grandparents (a few anyway) went there. They loved it. I loved it. Easy.

Not.

My older children had a different experience. Their schools weren't horrific, but too much of the time they were insufferably stupid. Reluctantly, I was pulled into having to "choose" an education rather than simply relying on the system that educated me and my family for generations.

When my third child, who wasn't exactly the ideal fit for a 20-30 student classroom, was school age, I was convinced I would be homeschooling him. He was the type of child that predictably drive teachers crazy. He was extraordinarily articulate, clever, imaginative ---all good things, yes, but he was insistent on telling you everything he had going on in his head. IE, he almost never "shut up" . He knew everything, and was enthusiastic to share it. All The Time. To Everybody. Once when we were on a vacation trip, his older sister decided to indulge him and hear him out........completely. We have it on videotape. It went on for almost four solid hours, his sister chiming in "Mmhmmm" now and then to reassure him she was listening, and it was a detailed plan for some superdooper toy invention he'd invented. I don't know which gave out first--his sister, or the videotape. He wasn't finished. He was four years old, and knew it all. He didn't want to be "taught" anything.

We found a school that suited my new, and much more "picky", criteria. It had to understand and appreciate my children, and it couldn't have much in the way of stupid. I'm happy I found one.

Thank heaven there were so many choices available to us. The one bright spot on the educational horizon is that there are so many choices opening up these days. I hope the trend continues to spread to those areas that don't yet have them available.

Linda

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by CinnamonDeMarco

Yeah I was thinking of you Lillian. You and others who are tempted to post similarly.

Reasons to use school = Reasons not to homeschool. You could pick every reason to use school listed on this post, and provide a link to a homeschooling website that says it isn't a good reason. It's a myth, a misconception, or it can be overcome.

Okayyyyy.... Maybe. But I feel I have enough personal hard earned experience to be able to recognize a widespread misconception when I see one - and some of them are misconceptions I once had. My son is now in college, having taught himself all sorts of things on his own without my help, and well enough to earn him an unsolicted honor scholarship offer from two of the three colleges he applied to. I went through one epiphany after another when he was homeschooling. I wasn't "hinting" in a friendly way or otherwise, but coming right out and saying what I felt. I think of that as support - and as I said, I wish people had been forthright with me when I was struggling with questions and misconceptions. Misconceptions are entirely different from opinions or personal needs. If someone said "I don't send my child to Waldorf school because I don't like the way the children have to wear polyester to school," it would be pretty hard for a Waldorf parent to sit there and not correct that impression. But if the person said "because my 5 year old daughter really wants to read and they don't teach reading until later," then that's not a misconception but a personal opinion and need - so there's no misconception to clear up. There are enough very real reasons for various people not homeschooling - and some have been mentioned here - but some things people assume are reasons are not really as realistic as they think.

But I have absolutely no desire to hang around and debate. I said what I needed to say, which wasn't much (!); I thought I was being helpful; and that was enough. Carry on... - Lillian

[CinnamonDeMarco]

Originally Posted by Lillian J

But I have absolutely no desire to hang around and debate. I said what I needed to say, which wasn't much (!); I thought I was being helpful; and that was enough. Carry on... - Lillian

Okay.

[CinnamonDeMarco]

That's funny

[QUOTE=LindaCl]
... he was insistent on telling you everything he had going on in his head. IE, he almost never "shut up"

Once when we were on a vacation trip, his older sister decided to indulge him and hear him out........completely. We have it on videotape. It went on for almost four solid hours,... it was a detailed plan for some superdooper toy invention he'd invented. I don't know which gave out first--his sister, or the videotape. He wasn't finished. He was four years old, and knew it all. He didn't want to be "taught" anything.

[lisalou]

We'll be sending dd to public schools. We bought a house in a good school district for that very reason. I don't think I have the temperment to be a good teacher, personally. My school experience wasn't all hunky dory but I don't wish my mother had homeschooled either.

As for learning boring things not being an advantage, I actually beg to differ. I sort of compare it to foods. Growing up I hated the stuffed squash dish my family made every summer when koosa would come into season. I also hated asparagus. I found meatballs and rice boring. Now, I love the stuffed squash dish and look forward to asparagus season and meatballs and rice are an occasional treat. Later education and developing of my palate enabled me to appreciate those things and link them to my history. Things I considered boring in high school, like my world history class served me in good stead as I read other things when I got older and could link them together. I still find Dickens boring but I'm now able to relate him and place him into context developing a deeper understanding and appreciation for other authors of that period who I do love, like Flaubert and Balzac. And at least I don't roll my eyes anymore when someone tells me how much they love him.

I guess for me schooling provided a springboard to the education that went on outside the classroom. I loved to read from an early age and enjoy expanding my knowledge. To me, that's the most important gift my mother gave me, the desire to learn. School didn't damage that, only enhanced it for me. I see a similar thing happening with dd. She may have no choice with both dh's and mine love of knowledge for the sake of knowledge.

And also, for me, the socialization part is important. I'm an introvert. So is dh. I suspect dd is too. I think interaction with peers and other adults will serve her in good stead to develop social skills to deal with the world and not let her introvertness hold her back. I don't think being an introvert is a bad thing. And I don't really want her to be an extravert. I just don't want her to be agrophobic like my mother.

[EFmom]

Cinnamon, thank you so much for your observation about the lurking homeschoolers/nay-sayers. I greatly appreciate it.