Are you GD by nature? - Page 3

[annab]

Originally Posted by hipumpkins

I could be the perfect GD parent if I had a housekeeper, a chef, a wet nurse and chauffer. Unforutnately I don't have any of those so I come here and post and read and keep lots of tools at the ready and hopefully I wont be caught off guard too often. It does happen when I am tired and nurisng a baby down for a nap and DD wants me to play and she just keeps yelling, "Mommy play" and the baby wont sleep so I can't play and I want to yell stop yelling...but that makes no sense and will startle baby anyhow and than I will just have to yell..now look you woke the baby

Strike up the band, mama, you are playing my song!! DS can be perfectly content doing his own thing for over an hour, but the minute I need to nurse the baby to sleep, he decides to practice his monkey shriek or ask for water and paint and paper or he wants to read 16 books. Knowing that nap time is coming, I offer many of these things in preparation.

I need Alice from the Brady Bunch....

[mightymoo]

I am definitely in the not natural approach for me. I was raised by parents who yelled and in a few instances of serious rage, hit, though not regularly. I yell a lot more than I want to - though I never belittle in my yelling as my mother did. I mostly yell because DD doesn't seem to be listening to me and I feel like I have no alternative. I too am much more coercive than some, but I feel like the coersion is a trade-off to keep me a bit more sane and capable of being more GD in other ways.

I have reached a few points with DD where I really could understand how a parent could want to hit a child (not necessarily to think its the right thing to do) - because you are so so so frustrated with their behavior and there she is just laughing at me - I could see how someone would want to make the child understand they are angry and be upset too. I am ashamed to admit I did slap DD once lightly with her own hand when she was pounding on me. I did it almost as a reaction because I was so frustrated she didn't get that she was hurting me and wouldn't stop. I felt horrible because despite the fact that she had spent the last 5 minutes hitting me as hard she could she immediately got this betrayed look on her face and started crying and said 'Mommy you hit me!' in a shocked voice like this was something that she had never conceived as possible. I felt absolutely horrible. It was really a moment of clarity for me - made me realize how true it is that parents are that rock of stability - someone you can depend on to love you even when you aren't sure if you love yourself. I never felt like I had that with my parents and I am angry with myself for jeapordizing that relationship with DD.

[RedWine]

Originally Posted by Devaskyla

No, definitely not. It's a struggle for me every single day and most days I fail miserably (dh tries to tell me no one could live up to my standards, but unless everyone's exaggerating, an awful lot of mamas here are coming way closer than I do).

This sums it up for me as well.