I can relate, the last name is a touchy subjectOkay, it's been a very long time since I've been on this website. Frankly, as if my own problems weren't enough, I found myself concerned and down right worried about everyone else's problems. I know, it probably sounds stupid, but I had to wean myself off this site just like getting off Dr. Pepper sodas.
Now about this post. I have three not so short, but very interesting, stories to tell. All very different.
1. My mom has kept her married name after leaving her husband 50 years ago. She had two children with him and wanted to keep their name (like most of you). She then had 3 more children out of wedlock and gave them her last name instead of their fathers. She has never liked to talk about it and would never answer any of my questions as to why she did that. It was so long ago (1950's and 1960's). She then had me & my sister by our father and gave us his last name. I had a real problem growing up with a different last name as my older siblings and mother. I didn't understand why she gave them her name but not me & my sister. It wasn't until I was older that I realized I was given the correct name, then the questions started. lol
To this day the three siblings that were given her first husband's last name are having an identity crisis. One brother wanted to change his name to his father's last name when he was an adult, but found out it was a lot of work for a man and he would have to explain why to a lot of people & didn't want to air dirty laundry.
2. My sister got a divorce 15 years ago. She kept her married name because it was her children's last name (common). She then had 3 more children with her live in boyfriend and they had their father's last name. Now those children question why mom has her ex husband's last name. It's been a little difficult on her.
3. My husband's ex kept his last name because of the children (again). I never had a problem with it because she wasn't married and it was her children's name. My problem came when she remarried and chose to keep my husband's last name instead. She had a new child with her new husband and wanted to give it my husband's (which is hers) last name. My husband threw a fit and threw it in her husband's face. He told him that this child will be confused as to who her father is and will have trouble tracing her family tree if something happend to her real dad when she was young. He finally put his foot down and insisted his last name be given to the child. The ex put her last name (my husband's) and a hyphen with the father's last name so that it can go by both and all her children will have the same last name.
My real problem started when the staff at the school were told by her to continue to refer to her as MRS. #$@#$#@. I explained that I am the MRS. @#$#@$ and she is the MS. #@$#@$. She then sent us an email and demanded that we call her MRS.@#$@#$#@. That is pushing it. I can see keeping your married name while you are single, or in rare cases like if you became a doctor after getting married, that you keep it after you remarry. But when you are married to another man and wanted to be called MRS. Exhusband's last name. I don't think so.