Originally Posted by LovemyBoo
I don't think you overreacted.
What raises my alarm in your story is not that he offered the candy but that he ignored your repeated "no, thank you". People that ignore or disregard the word "no" usually make me uneasy.
You went with your instincts and that's great! Keep listening. What's the worst that happened here? Some strange guy at the video store thinks you're overprotective? Your dd will think twice before accepting candy from someone she doesn't know? Big deal on both counts. At best you let this guy know that your kid isn't an easy target. If you ruffle a few feathers here and there in the name of protecting your child, so be it. It beats the alternative. Keep listening to your heart.
I'm suprised no one else has referenced author Gavin de Becker's #1 bestseller, The Gift of Fear
, which I think I must've heard about on Oprah.
|Perhaps we have a bad feeling about someone we've just met, or a little gnawing perception that a situation just doesn't "feel right," or perhaps even a fear that a co-worker might do something harmful. What de Becker, renowned expert on violent behavior, explains here is that instead of shrugging off these fears, we need to listen to them, see why we're having them, and act accordingly. Far from being silly intuitions, often these can truly show when something is wrong and violence might be imminent; if listened to, along with information about how violent people behave, these feelings might protect us from harm. Using examples from cases on which he's worked and even from his own childhood of domestic violence de Becker shows how instinct, and knowledge, can warn us of impending violence, whether by stalkers, family members, predators, or people in the workplace.
Amazon.com is so cool, 'cause you can read the first few pages of the book:http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0440...3D#reader-link
I think that de Becker's intro, that you can read online right here, is invaluable. It affirms that it's OKAY and possibly imparative that we trust our "silly overreactions" to people's "kindness."
For crying out loud--no means no. The best
outcome would've been this guy accepting no as an answer, and posting on HIS bullitian board about how paranoid this chick (the OP) was--and how he chose to STOP PUSHING the candy issue because he is sensitive and respectful of this mother (the OP) and her child.