for those with older DC's

[anarchamama]

I posted this on life with babe but thought maybe some of you would have some advice as well.............Thanks

I'm trying to figure out the best way to put two babies to bed. MY DS is 2 1/2 and has always had me or DH lie down with him to go to sleep, but that won't always be possible with the new baby (expecting inthe next few weeks), especially for naps when I'm here by myslef.

Iv'e tried talking to him about it but he's very resistant and I don't want to force it. He says he's to small to go to sleep by himslef and he needs one of us to lay with him. It seems crazy to me to put him to sleep for over two years and then suddenly just let him CIO (or the toddler equivelent.)

I don't know if we should try to start something new now (letting him play alone with a dim light? sitting int he next room but making him stay in bed? setting a time limit and then just leaving?) or just wait untill the baby comes and trusting something will work itself out. That has the advantage that he can see the reason we can't lay down, but I don't want him to blame everything on the baby. And if I compromise by taking the baby in and just sittign on the bed with him, how long will that last? Only untill the baby is to old to lay quietly and nurse anytime, but it would buy us a few more months?

Yikes I just don't know what to do, I would appreciate any advice or even others experiences good or bad with this transition. This is really the only thing I am worried about transitioning, but I'm really worried about it. Ijust want to avoid a whole bunch of screaming post-partum fights with a toddler......

Thanks
Heather

[MamaTaraX]

I'm having a similar problem. My DH is always here though, so he can put our toddler to sleep. My issue is more with where to actually put them when they are both asleep because my toddler is all about laying ON me. In my arms, up against me, smothering me sometimes, and I can't do that with a newborn in tow. Some nights I do put him to sleep. I think it might not be sooo bad because I can hold a baby and read to him and that works most of the time. WHen he gets tired of reading, he'll ask tolay down. Most of the time my DH puts him to sleep by wrapping him up and carrying him outside to walk or if its cold to rock in the rocking chair. My best advice is to not break something new out on your little one at the same time as a new baby comes. Keep talking to him about what is going to happen, how he will go to sleep, where the baby will sleep, what it will be like and start making suggestions to him about what will be coming (like: you will be getting to play in the dark quietly for a while before laying down, etc etc) I hear that THe No Cry Sleep Solution is wonderful though I have yet to read it. I don't think its a great idea to do something really new at the same time as the new baby though. Especially if whatever new is hard on the child already here, then they associate the two things and the last thing I'd want is my child to have any negative associations with the new baby. If you don't have a routine already, get started on one right away. I'm a huge fan of routines, though I will admit freely that the toddler I currently have is not so good with a bedtime routine. With my first though, it was most excellent It's worth trying/incorporating though and it's not one of those things that will be vastly different because a baby is here. When my second was born, my first was 4.5, so telling you what worked with him isn't going to be much help for a 2.5 yr old but I willl say that talking to him A LOT beforehand did help. He understood that when the baby came, it might take Mama and Daddy a little longer to get to him, but we'd be there, and we went through with it. For his entire life I had laid down to sleep with him, all the way up until I went into labor in fact. The first night with new baby, I laid down with him (because 1 day olds sleep a lot) and told him that the next night I probably woudln't get to do that. That's exactly what happened. NOw Daddy lays down with him, and still does and if I can swing it, I still crawl in there with him Sorry this got so long!

Namaste, Tara

[pinkmilk]

I'm going through the same dilema so it's nice to read what other people are doing. Luckily my dd has a slew of us to lay down with her at night,me,dh, ds1 and ds2. We all take turns putting her to bed. But it's the naptimes durring the day that I worry about. A couple times I've tryed just sitting on the bed and reading quietly to myself or sitting in a chair not far from the bed but usually she really freaks out when I try this. She likes to be touching me as she falls asleep. Hopefully I can just plan her nap around when I've just nursed baby and he's content and sleeping too. I don't know...I too worry about the stress on her with new babe and how I don't want to make it seem like it's the baby forcing her out of her cuddles at nap time. Things always have a way of working out...I guess I'm just going to keep trying a little distance at nap, and try and get her used to that, so at least I can sit on the bed with baby and be near her.

[Nature]

lurking! Hoping to hear what others are doing. Dh has just started putting dd 2 1/2 down to sleep at night and its working out wonderfully. He is always here though, so he'll be able to keep doing that. Nap times have been cut out altogether! I find she will not go to sleep before 2am if she naps, and that is just not working for us as a family.

[GreenMommy]

My ds is 3.5 and still goes to sleep with me every night and wakes up atleast 2-3 times a night to grab my boobs...

I don't get much sleep now - so worried about when baby comes.

Guess we will just have to see what happens.

Alicia