Um... 16 mo- normal, gifted, what???

[alexsam]

Our 16 month old is shocking us around every turn. He says about 30-40 words (pretty much on track, from what I can tell), but I can't even venture a guess at how many he understands- It has been months since I've said something to him that he hasn't responded appropriately to in some way- and I'm talking full-on adult sentances. He seems to really understand what's going on- not just pick up on words- and will do things to show comprehension (ie- me:"So, dh, wanna go to the mall?", DH:"Sure." DS: runs to find socks and shoes, pounds on coat closet, says "buh-bye", etc.). He loves books, blocks, and "mischeif", meaning dropping things down the heating vent to see what happens, pulling everything out of the cabinets, etc. He is VERY intent on putting things in containers, finding matching lids, basically having things "click into place" or fit and will try lots of things to see what works. My husband and I are always laughing at the strange little combinations of things appear in our lives- clocks in drawers, little animals all lined up on the window sill, etc. He is an organizer. We've taken to hiding the locking mechanisms for things because he is working on opening the child locks and we have to spell things out if we don't want him to know. He remembers things for a very long time. Even if he hasn't seen something in weeks, he will tell you where it belongs. He loves to read and will sit through many stories, pointing at the pictures, turning pages, etc. and then he will put the book away. He prompts us for the order of events, essentially leading US through diaper changes and things like that. He loves to "help out" because he likes the routines and challenges. He has a really funny sense of humor and makes games out of everything. He is always giggling at finding he can trick the dog into chasing him around or whatever, and will do all kinds of things to get us to laugh at him. He's a big goofball. He seems to like the company of other kids, but is not yet directly playing with them at this age. Umm, what else? He loves to dance and often he will get frustrated because he wants to do lots of things that he isn't big enough for or quite coordinated enough for. Communication doesn't seem to be a problem, because if he doesn't know the word, he find another way to say something. He lets you know what he is thinking.

So, dh and I were wondering if we've got a bright one on our hands or if we are just amazed at the wonderous toddler mind. Either way, we're fine with that- both are perfectly joyous options! Just curious...

[BoyGirlTwinsAPMama]

Your son sounds like a little cutie pie! I was smiling just reading your description of him! Why don't you go to the Gifted Development Center's website and read up and see if/what you can relate to there? It has a wealth of info on what you are talking about. Also we like the site The Well Trained Mind.

[peekyboo]

Your son sounds a lot like my oldest at that age. He's now 9 and does well in school. Is he gifted? Probably, but I don't want to put that kind of pressure on him, you know? He did score in the gifted range for language and tests two grade levels ahead for math. On the flip side, he's had some social issues (shyness, a little anxiety, gets overwhelmed at times) so our main concern for him his getting him less awkward socially - I almost never think about how he does academically b/c I know he'll do well, lol!

On the flipside, his brother didn't talk until after the age of two and refused to have anything to do with numbers or letters until the age of four. He's now 7 and doing just as well as his brother in school, so it can be hard to gauge how they're going to be when they're older when they're still toddlers.

I think the best thing to do is just continually support his interests, expose him to all sorts of things and talk to him about them.

Oh, and I don't believe my boys have hit their full stride. I come from a family of smarty pants myself, lol, and we were all basic above average students until jr. high, when our strengths really began to show through.

[alexsam]

Thanks, BoyGirlTwinsAPMama- he is a cutie. My husband and I spend all day laughing, as we think his little antics are just so funny (and he knows it too), though we could probably live without having to figure a way to remove paper towel bits from the heating vents and prevent various things from being flushed down the toilet in a 16 month old's hydrolics experiment! But when his interests do not include repair work to our house, we are totally supportive and are thrilled to expose him to all kinds of things and are happy whenever he takes an interest in something- whatever it may be. The fact that he is quick to laugh at himself and the world and try things over and over again make it easy .

I'm totally not interested in labeling. In my former life before baby, I was a teacher and know that not only is a label limiting (whatever label it may be) but success and happiness have many factors and can be acheived by all kinds of people. I was more wondering if this is what all toddlers do, as we are new to this and quite frankly (and I'm not trying to compare, brag or anything- really!) the other toddlers we hang out with just don't seem to be as inquisitive, enthusiastic or able to focus as ds. He genuinely seems to have a "spark" that other people notice as well and so I thought I might dig a little deeper...

[kchoffmann]

To me he sounds normal, but maybe that is because - other than the talking and comprehending, which I've also seen in other very young toddlers - my son has that "spark" you are talking about too. (He does sound very adorable, by the way!) My DS started getting really interested in matching things at a pretty young age. For instance, starting when he was about 18 mo, if he found a calf in one book, he would trot off to his pile of books, find the one he was looking for, and open it to a page that also showed a calf and bring then together to show me. He does this with everything: colors, letters, even words. Now that he is starting to talk he will recite his books (the words he can pronounce). I can even point to a word and he will say it, as though he's reading. He's also very scientifically bent, like your son. He's super interested in reflections of light, figuring out how things work, and what-happens-if-I-do-this kind of stuff. He has unbelievable rhythm too.

Honestly, though, I don't think he's gifted, just a basically sharp kid. Like Phoebe noted in describing her kids, there are so many ways to be smart. Some are more emotionally intelligent and highly skilled with communication, some more gifted with language, some scientifically intelligent. Many have combos of these. I think of myself as super smart but I'm a moron when it comes to science stuff. I have a feeling DS is going to think I'm pretty dumb as a result!

[MillingNome]

He does sound rather bright! The trick that I found, having dealt with a fairly bright dd, is to keep challenging her after she hit school age. Before she hit school, I think she was smarter, if that makes any sense. DD said her first words, kitty cat, at nine months. Since then, she has not stopped talking. Now, she uses langauge much better than any 12 year old I've ever seen. Socially she is a little on the reclusive side when it comes to kids her own age but comfortably so. I think she is so mature due hanging out mainly with adults and older kids. DS, OTOH, has autism but is perhaps even brighter than DD. He test two grades ahead in math and reading. It cracks me up since we really thought he was not altogether there. In the end, I think it is our job as parents to challenge each to do the best they can and grab life by the horns Enjoy your son!

[Shiloh]

To me he sounds normal, but maybe that is because

I got to thank you for posting this thread and the responses!!
My ds1 is gifted and a very early developer talking 5 months, cralwed by 4 months even, walked at 8 and was running by 8 months and 3 days never caught on to signing as he was so verbal it was scary.

But my ds2 has been behind ds1's milestones and I knew that ds1 was advanced for his age way ahead of most kids, lol he was born almost 11 pounds and was over 24 inches long at a week (thank god dh has a narrow skull

I know he's gifted (he's 3.5 and dp and I were both the ultimate gifted geeks okay still are But ds2 was born oxygen deprived at birth, cord first, cord around the neck three times and a month early, facial and eye hemmoraging, he's been a very sick little guy in his first year we almost lost him at 4 months from rsv, then pnemonia....and I just love him and took all pressure off where he was going to be and don't compare him to ds1.

but reading your post I am relieved that he's doing all of those things at 13 months so he's really not 'behind' just behind ds1 and he might actually be on the upper curve not that that matters really but well you know.

My youngest is also a 'fitter' I was about to throw out those shape sorting cubes as my oldest two never took an interest ds2 can do puzzles...lol but maybe part of that is he only started to walk at 12 months so he's spent more stationary time than the runner!