Overjoyed, terrified and needing assurance

[Jlse]

I may be in early labor - had cxts 3-4 min. apart for several hours and then nothing for an hour or so then they started up again. Its so different than with ds - I was confident felt I managed great etc. This time I suddenly don't want to do it - want out and am just scared of the pain to come. Which yes I know will likely make it worse so as long as I'm chatting with someone its doable and I calm down. I'm afraid my dream of a natural homebirth is just that - a dream and that reality isn't really what I want. I was soo bummed when I was told c-section with ds after laboring (face presentation and in lots of distress - they didn't let me push even though I was at 10 since the hospital doesn't deliver face presentation as it can cause damage.) So I have been very excited to be able to do this natural and at home, no NICU this time, etc. etc. but with each cxt. I keep shaking and getting nervous feelings I don't really want to go through this.

Any and all affirmations/prayers etc. are welcome - just typing this out has helped me settle down a bit.

Thanks if you have gotten this far!

[ehsclt]

Jlse, I am so excited for you that you are in labor!!! I understand your feelings, too. Each time I've thought I was in labor this time, I've had some thoughts creep in, just minor ones, but ones that involve a little trepidation.

Keep in mind one of the best things about labor, the Zen nature of it if you will. You only have to experience ONE contraction at a time and once that contraction is over, it's done its work and is gone. Each moment will be manageable on its own and you never have to deal with more than one moment at a time.

Being at home is going to be so wonderful and peaceful for you and chances are, your dream is going to be fulfilled and you'll get to stay there. I am having a BC birth this time and I keep wishing I'd decided to stay home. I know you are going to love giving birth in your own environment.

I will hold you in my thoughts and prayers all day and will await your great news at the end of this.

Hugs to you....you can and will do it with strength and grace!!

Emily

[Spark]

Last minute (or week) jitters are perfectly normal. You know your body knows how to work. You mind and all its fears can just let go. Let your body and your baby guide you.

(not in your ddc, but couldn't read & not post)
nak

[Spark]

Also... wishing you a gentle peaceful birth when the time is right.

[Jlse]

Thank you! I think I'm going to keep reading these and focussing on that to get my mind in the right place. I have almost completely stopped contracting now and am relieved and humbled. I think I was too confident in my ability after reading so many good homebirth books and forgot I still have to actually do it! The work wasn't for nothing at least - I've started dialating, 50% and baby is engaged 0 or +1 don't remember now. I'm completely aware I may be at this stage for a few more weeks but am quite at peace with that as I now realize I wasn't quite as ready as I thought I was!

I'm staying home today, relax, nest some and concentrate on getting baby in a good position. Plus enjoy the last moments of time with just ds - which of course I'm also terribly emotional about.

[Willowrose]

Have a wonderful and peaceful birth! I hope this is it for you

[MamaTaraX]

Hopefully you aren't reading what I am writing and are laboring instead. You are in my thoughts. You can do it!! You're an awesome woman, a woman made to give birth. The only thing that kept you from it last time was hospital policy and there is no hospital policy in your house, so you can relax and surrender to the awesome power of birth the way that you are supposed to. I have faith in you as a person, as a woman, as a mama. Happy beautiful birthing to you!

Namaste, Tara