Originally Posted by zoesmummy
But from my *daughter's* point of view - why/how would she get around that disapproval (?) and still be friends with the other person? Like how does it make her feel? Can she live with that?
Is each person different? (Well, duh. I know each person is different) I think I'm just having a hard time envisoning the relationship of the disapproving friend and the "sinner".
Depending on how freaked out about actual homosexual relationships the person is (because I think being okay or not okay with the concept works a heck of a lot different intellectually/academically than being right there in the flesh--seen suprising results in lots of different people), they might just think it's more of an personal annoyance (like one might genuinely love a friend otherwise but they have one phrase that is irritating or they have a belly laugh when they're REALLY getting into it that is like nails on chalkboard, or they're a compulsive hair puller--have to pull out every white hair they see on themselves and then they drop it without thinking onto your chair and it drives you nuts, ect.).
So...your daughter might not even know. Just because you look at someone with a huge birthmark and wouldn't want one yourself doesn't mean that you can't get over yourself and be friends with that person.
I'm pretty sure the people who feel discomfort at the prospect of being homosexual themselves (for religious or aesthetic or cultural or whatever reasons) BUT who are capable and open to developing relationships with people regardless are NOT going to be the ones that feel the need to cram their point of view down someone else's throat. And they're unlikely to stick around with people they perceive to be crammers from a different angle.
I mean, you have friends whom you love the total package but there are SOME things that A) you wouldn't choose for yourself or B) let's face it, they annoy you. But I think that if you are open and you feel a connection with someone (I don't know how to quantify it, but I hope most people here have experienced kind of an instant attraction in a friendship/sisterhood way...and you are at first boggled as to WHY it was with this specific person), you can choose to set aside a multitude of disagreements and differences.
I think someone can feel torn between their religious beliefs and a friend, and choose to keep their religious feelings to themselves in order to love their friend. Maybe this is not as common with such culturally hotbutton issues as homosexuality (and again, that is slowly changing--not as fast as I would like, but it is changing), but I don't think it would be a very rare thing either.
Did that make sense at all?
As a personal example...one of the people that I have felt the strongest attraction (again, talking friendship/sisterhood/soulmate) to is pretty much diametrically the opposite of me (except for she's not a white supremecist). Political. Religious. Parenting. You name it (well, she cloth diapered too, but I'm not a diaper hyena so that wasn't the basis for our attraction either). We had some hairraising fights. But in the end, I loved her for her, and we could always bridge that gap. Until I was a total ass at a very wrong time and I blew it. But it was more my craptacular timing and general you-know-what-itude than because of some political or cultural issue--and I don't blame her for her reaction. Now, I could have just passed on by when we first met, because I didn't want to associate with "her type". But I'm very glad that I didn't, because she ended up being a very good thing in my life and I will always, always love her and miss her (I am actually starting to cry reading this). So do I think that such a thing could happen between a lesbian and someone who thinks that homosexuality is a sin? Oh yes. And I would hope that if something like that happened that they'd both be open to it.
You just never know, and sometimes the universe can bring some really wonderful people in your life from places you would have never expected.