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post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
My guess would be that there aren't any UCer's here....or are there? I know there must be some HBer's.

I STILL haven't made up my mind where I'm having this baby! I have 9 weeks to settle the decision. I am seeing a mainstream OB after two births with a mw. My first labor was 3.5 hrs & my second was 1 hr. I'm prepared for a fast labor & thinking that I don't want to have this baby in the car trying to get to the hosp. where I really don't want to be anyways.

Last night I told Dp of my thoughts about just simply not going anywhere when I go into labor. I've done the research & while I don't know everything that a mw or OB knows, I have faith in my body & I know how I birth babies.

He said, "What if something goes wrong? You would regret it for the rest of your life." That last sentence keeps repeating itself in my head. Thinking about it last night, I felt that yes, it would be something that I regretted for the rest of my life, but so could going to the hospital.

I should probably post this in the the UC forum, but I feel like I've been here, in this DDC for so long!!! and I've gotten to "know" many of you .

Anyone else feeling this way?
post #2 of 16
Because of my baby's situation, I can't even give birth with a midwife. I have to be in a hospital with specialists standing by.

But, before all of this started, I did a lot of reading on unassisted childbirth and found it very rewarding. I can understand why people do it and I envy their strength.

Have you been to this site? unassistedchildbirth.com This is what first inspired me. Then, I started reading other women's stories and it didn't seem so scary or so rare. People do it and it works out fine. I think the confidence you have in yourself and your husband really means a lot. Another issue for me when I was considering it was how far is the nearest hospital if I have to call 911. For me, it's 30 minutes and that just is too long. So, even if I could, I probably would not have delievered at home.

Here's another link to a site that has additional links to other sites on unassisted childbirth: http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/8148/ucbirth.html

Good luck! It's a tough decision!
post #3 of 16
Originally Posted by Metasequoia
I know there must be some HBer's.
HBer here.

Originally Posted by Metasequoia
I have faith in my body & I know how I birth babies.
Well, that sounds to me like a really good foundation for a HB, whether assissted or unassisted.

Originally Posted by Metasequoia
He said, "What if something goes wrong? You would regret it for the rest of your life." That last sentence keeps repeating itself in my head. Thinking about it last night, I felt that yes, it would be something that I regretted for the rest of my life, but so could going to the hospital.
Funny...it was just that sort of thought (that I might really regret birthing this baby in a hospital) that led me to switch to HB at 22 wks.

Originally Posted by Metasequoia
Anyone else feeling this way?
Yeah, sort of. I'm not that interested in UC myself, but my feelings about HB seem to parallel yours.

It seems to me that your intuition is trying to tell you something. I think you owe it to yourself to at least do more considering/researching.
post #4 of 16
Another homebirther here This is my first, so I haven't even considered an UC. I know it is the right choice for some women, but with my first labor I really want someone there to advise me, and I my midwife.

I'm just wondering why after 2 great HBs are you seeing an OB and considering a hospital birth this time? HB seems a good middle ground to me!
post #5 of 16
We're having a homebirth with a midwife attending. I really don't feel that I am risking anything by having a homebirth. Terrible things happen everyday and a hospital birth is not an insurance policy against them. I feel confident in my ability to birth a baby naturally and I feel very confident in my midwife's ability to assist me in case of an unforseen problem.

I think part of being at peace with birth is accepting that problems do occur and there is usually no one to blame. Anyway, I look on the bright side of statistics... I have an excellent chance of having a great birth and a healthy baby and I focus on that.


P.S. I think yvonnemlv (?) is planning a UC.
post #6 of 16
We're planning a homebirth with a midwife. I don't want a repeat of the rushed pace & interventions I encounted with my first l&d at the hospital. Plus, I know I can do it just fine here at home and it will be much more relaxed and just, well, nicer.

Why are you specifically leaning towards UC rather than having a midwife or attendant at home? I certainly don't think it's too late for you to decide on either of those routes rather than risking a high-speed drive to the hospital! Good luck and best wishes for whatever you decide. Keep us posted!
post #7 of 16
Like above, I'm wondering about seeing an ob after 2 mw births. ?
You seem to go fast, so why not a homebirth? Maybe no hb mw's near you? How far are you from a hospital--I think that would be my biggest concern? With uc, I feel like you go into it mentally prepared for everything to happen at home---if you're a fast birther and planning to go the hospital route it is not unlikely that you could find yourself birthing in the car or the parking lot. And like you said, many things can happen in a hospital environment that you could "regret for the rest of your life". (actually I feel that way about so many of the parenting decisions I make on a daily basis) Responsible birthing just fits into the entire spectrum of serious parenting decisions we make.

I've had 2 babies at home with a mw. I couldn't imagine ob care after my 2 birth experiences. My mw has actually said to me that she would give me her blessing if I wanted an uc. Personally I love my prenatals with my mw. I love having her clinical experience at my disposal. I love hanging out with her, and would probably invite her to my birth anyway.

I think that since you're 31 weeks and not 100% with the idea of your current care provider you need to seriously honor your intuition. You also need to get your dh on the same page. It is your body and your (and your babies) birth experience, but also be mindful of your dh's feelings--and honoring that partnership. If you're leaning toward uc I think your dh needs to be into it (or at least willing to give you his support) also.
post #8 of 16
HBer here too. Unless I get some more specific info on why you're planning a hospital birth after two uncomplicated, precipitous births...if I were you, I would CERTAINLY be planning a HB and would be prepared for a UC just because logistically, it seems like a distinct possibility.

If "something" happens to your baby, at any time during pregnancy, labor, or birth, or ever - you are going to second-guess yourself, rake yourself over the coals, etc. The point needs to be that you are making a decision that YOU feel completely comfortable with, and that is a safe one for your situation. For myself, I feel 100% confident in my decision to homebirth. I feel that it is absolutely the right decision for me, and it has been scientifically proven to be a safe decision for me as well. Bad things can happen during childbirth. They can happen in a hospital. They can happen at home too. But "something" is no more likely to happen with a HB for me (and you, it sounds like) than anywhere else.

I don't think that I personally would plan an intentional UC, but if I were in your situation I would plan as if it were a likely possibility just because you may not have time to get anyone there, or to get to a hospital. That seems to be the only responsible thing to do to me.
post #9 of 16
Yet another homebirther here, just seconding what everyone has said above. I am planning on becoming a midwife at some point in my life and have been studying pregnancy & childbirth for a long time, so I would definitely consider the idea of UC. However, this is our first child and DH, though keen on homebirth, would have to be "talked into" UC . . . so we will see how this birth goes, and talk about it more when a second pregnancy is in the works.

On the other hand, I really LOVE my midwifery appointments and adore my midwives . . . and a lot of the reasoning behind UC seems to be about safeguarding the intimacy and privacy of the labor and birth; we are planning on labor/birth being a big social event (many people around), so the idea of it being just DH and myself seems a little lonely. (*grin*)
post #10 of 16
Originally Posted by Metasequoia
My guess would be that there aren't any UCer's here....or are there? I know there must be some HBer's.

I have faith in my body & I know how I birth babies.

He said, "What if something goes wrong? You would regret it for the rest of your life." That last sentence keeps repeating itself in my head. Thinking about it last night, I felt that yes, it would be something that I regretted for the rest of my life, but so could going to the hospital.

Yes, I am having an instinctual pregnancy and birth (or UP and UC as it is otherwise known). Having faith is probably the biggest part of life.. pregnancy and birthing especially. And yes, Regret can happen at home with UC, midwives, or at the hospital.. even when nothing goes wrong. The biggest factor is probably your belief system about life.

I don't think I can even begin to explain this concept in my mind and put it into words, not right now in any case.. Here is my birthstory, of which I am not as deep into the PTSD that I suffer from, but still healing from. (I also had PPD and PPP - voices and images and the STRONGEST urges to do horrible things *sigh* I cannot go back and change that birth, but I want to with all my being!)


I don't know if it will hellp you make up your mind about what to do.. but if it may help, then I am glad to share it.

Ultimately, your mama instincts are the ones to go on, despite nay and worry sayers from others (or even yay sayers).

Edited to add:

I guess what I want to say is that what you regret will depend on the truth of your being. If for you, HOW the child enters the world is important (quiet, no interventions, loving, peaceful, being respected) then how and who you birth with is going to carry great weight...

Phooie, I just am not having a good time with words lately.. ah well... hope your telepathic sense picks up on what I want to say.
post #11 of 16
Yet another homebirther here. It's my first, so I prefer to have a midwife there. Also Tom's anxiety is a major factor (he was very anxious about the idea of a homebirth at first, now feeling much more confident, but also glad we will have two midwives there!). If he were anxious I wouldn't be able to manage it and concentrate on my own needs. I see my midwife as a doula for him as much as for me.

Maybe your husband needs to talk more with you about his anxiety about "what if something goes wrong," and that would help you come to a conclusion?
post #12 of 16
UC here This will be our 3rd UC and 8th baby.
(hi Maggie! )
post #13 of 16
My first labor was relatively quick, only about 6 hours from start to finish... and I wasn't even sure I was in active labor for most of it. Since the next one could be even quicker, I'm glad we're having a homebirth with a mw. I personally don't want a uc; I like the safety net of having a mw on the phone and on her way, even if she doesn't make it in time for the birth. But, then, I once thought I'd never have a homebirth, either.

I don't think you have to make a hard and fast either/or decision at this point. Couldn't you just play it by ear? From the reading I've done, the 3rd birth is unpredictable. It could be shorter or longer than you other ones.
Plan and prepare for a UC, but reserve the right to go to the hospital if you feel like it. If your labor goes that fast, you might not make it to the hospital anyway, so you should be prepared. Or, if you feel like you have time to get to the hospital and want to go, then go.

Before making a decision, you might want to check your local hospital policies. If you do end up on the side of the road, what is the hospital's policy? Will they consider it an emergency and separate you from your baby once you get there just to "make sure"? What if you make it to the ER, but there's no time to get you into L&D? How would that type of birth be handled?
post #14 of 16
Thread Starter 
Wow Yvonne, that was some emotional birth story - THAT'S what I mean about regrets!

I should have been more clear in my post - my first two births were with a mw in a hospital. Now my first birth, while drug free, was not intervention free. The nurses insisted on running an IV through my hand - to this day I swear that hurt more than giving birth. If I had done more research, I could have been more prepared, but it was my first & I didn't know all of the options.

My second birth was at the same hosp. & my mw didn't make it in time to catch my Dd. This time, however, I was feisty & refused everything, the nurses did not like that!

I have huge regrets about delivering in the hosp. I hated that they took my Dd's away & poked & prodded them - I still cry thinking about Dd2 getting pricked repeatedly for the PKU while she screamed hysterically & my Dd1 & I stood outside the nursery crying & banging on the glass. I am to blame, I could have refused to hand them over, now I know all of that.

I started out scheduled to see the same mw this pg & the way my insurance works, I have to see her through a clinic. It is the clinic that caused me to switch, not my mw. They were so booked that even though I called around 10 wks to schedule, my appt wasn't until 17 wks - which, at the time was fine with me.

At 12.5 wks I ended up hemmorhaging, just gushing blood flow after flow. I thought I was losing the baby for sure. I went to the ER & had a u/s where we saw baby bouncing around happily. The ER doc was a jerk, not explaining anything to me & saying that I may or may not lose this baby.

I tried to get in touch with my mw & it took a day or two. I stayed in bed all week wondering if my baby was alive. Finally on Friday I couldn't take it anymore & was having regular contractions & called the clinic to ask if I could take xanex to calm down. They yelled at me & said that if I was that concerned that I should just go to the ER :

So I did. Another u/s showed a healthy baby once again. After I explained my story, the doctors covinced me to switch to their affiliated practice. At this point I just wanted to be able to see or talk to someone when I had a concern, so I kept the appt I made.

We have some local HB mw's but they charge $3500. They will barter, but the price will still be too high for us. If I birth at the hosp (or home, UC) insurance will cover everything.

I can't imagine not sleeping with my beloved Dd's because the hosp won't let me leave & I can't leave without my baby. I don't want CPS called because I just want to leave the hosp immediately. I've never been seperated from either of them overnight except Dd1 when I stayed for a night at the hosp when I had Dd2.
post #15 of 16
I am planning my second homebirth after two vaginal and one c/s in the hospital. My babies tend to get hung up at the shoulders, so UC wouldn't work for me. I feel safer with my midwife, giving birth in my home than in a hospital with my previous doctor. I would guess that since you've had two vaginal births without birth complications that UC wouldn't be out of the question as long as you are comfortable with it.
post #16 of 16
I'm a homebirther. I did seriously look into UCing, and while I know that I can do the labor and birth by myself, I really want to have that 'assurance' after I give birth that the baby is healthy and have a midwife to check me over as I always require stitches thanks to a episiotomy for my first birth (grrrr). However, my last birth was only 45 minutes long, and if I follow the pattern I have been on, this one should even be shorter- so I might end up with the UC anyway. It's actually something I'm looking forward to- for some reason, the idea of just me and my DH in our bedroom having our child together- it just seems RIGHT this time- and it's not something I ever would have considered with my other children. I think that eventually it will just click with you how you're supposed to give birth this time- women's intuition.
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