|I have been a stay at home mom for ten years. I would say about 90% of the time I hear how nice it is that I am able to stay home from working moms. It is a choice that I made that came with many years of going without certain things. Sacrifice of material items that I would like to have but have chosen that my child is way more important. Most of them could make the same choices if they really wanted too.
Although this was put in a pretty disrespectful way, I have gotten kind of the same thing. I am a WOHM, but when our new babe is born in August I'm quitting to stay home. I've had a bunch of people sniff and say things like "must be nice to just not have to work" and "wow, I wish I had that kind of money". It's a tad insulting the way it is usually said, not generally supportive. Yes, I'm really lucky--DH happens to be in a decently paid field, and we are in a low cost of living area so we can afford to live on just his salary. But at the same time, we aren't rich, so we are choosing to forgo extras like vacations and a second car. And we've put off having this baby for years so we could pay down debt first. So the insulting "must be nice" comments are kinda hurtful. It would be different if they were said in a supportive way.
It's ridiculous to say that if you loved your kids enough you would stay home, and insulting as well. Sweetbaby loves her DD enough to pay for her college, and I don't know that I'll be able to do that. That's a pretty amazing thing to do for your kid
However, in my mind it's empowering to think that you are choosing to work to make a better life for yourself and your family, rather than saying you "have" to work, which in my mind is depressing. The things that you all are doing with your salaries are so worthwhile for your families! That's how I've tried to think of working the past 9 years--maybe at one point I would say that I was choosing to work so I wouldn't have to go on food stamps, but that made me feel like I was making my own decisions, not the ones forced upon me. Some of you are choosing to work so you still have a house, some of you are choosing to work so you have health insurance, and some women choose to work so that their kids can go to really awesome private schools or so they can take spectactular vacations.
And some moms work because their work is wonderful and fulfilling. In my mind, those are all excellent valid reasons, and we all should be celebrated in our choices to WOHM or stay home or any combination of the two.
Hopefully that makes sense...that's why we are all full time moms, because we are all mommy-ing the best ways for our families