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Are you going to use a Doula?  

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
I've been very interested in hiring a Doula, but am still not quite sure. Is anyone familiar with the process?

If so:

What do you look for in a doula?

How do you go about interviewing doulas?

What does a doula do for you?


Thanks!
post #2 of 17
Absolutely go w/ a doula! We had one w/ dd, and she worked wonders. I've got a book around here somewhere that talks about what to ask in an interview, etc. I'll see if I can dig it up...
post #3 of 17
OK...can't find the book, but here's a good site that should help:

http://www.dona.org/mothers/how_to_hire_a_doula.php

That's how we found a doula for dd.

The number one thing for us was that s/he (there are male doulas, though rare) be someone that we felt comfortable with. We really lucked out w/ Alicia. She was wonderful. I remember when I was in active labor thinking more than once, ok, this is it. I'm not doing this anymore. I'm going to grab the 1st person through that door and demand a c-section. And then Alicia would come in and say or do just the right thing, and everything was ok again. Go w/ your initial impression. If you don't click right away, keep looking.

Also, ask about how s/he books clients (especially important if s/he doesn't work w/ a backup). Alicia didn't take any other clients during the month surrounding my due date (2 wks before and 2 wks after), so that, barring a person emergency, she knew she would be able to be there for us.

I really can't say enough good things about doulas. BTW, that site also has a good article on dads and doulas (listed under birth doula topics on the left side of the page), if has any concerns. Hope this helps.
post #4 of 17
Doulas are truly great... in fact, it's why I became one. I didn't have one with my first and I truly think it would have made ALL the difference. The second time my midwife said she'd be my doula (ha, it's not possible as they are two totally different responsibilities and I think she did a diservice to me by saying she could do both - she was just trying to make sure I didn't hire a midwife who is also a doula - - she had personal problems with her). ANYways... I won't have any more kiddlets without a doula. Kind of funny but I am going to be unassisted this time, but I'm still hiring a doula... I figure if I don't need her, great, but if I do - they are worth every penny in gold.

A funny story is before I was in labor with my first I wanted to use the shower and a various aray of positions, etc. but when I actually got into serious labor my mind was in labor-land and I kept saying I didn't want to do this or that (which I can't remember doing to be honest) and no one remembered to have me drink or eat so it was 48 hours of no food or water when we transfered to the hospital from our planned homebirth. I tell ya, a doula would have saved my hide from a transfer, I know it. She would have 'made' me try some different things, remembered to keep me hydrated, fed and would have kept track of my emotional well-being and wouldn't be afraid of the labor and what was happening because she'd been around to know that it was normal. She could have soothed my husband's fears and helped him to be more helpful to me (so I would have found him more helpful). In the end, hard to go wrong.

What do you look for in a doula?
I would look for a good personal fit (#1 with you, #2 with DH)... I think this is key - if you like her and trust her, it will go well in that regard and you will work well together. I would also look for some broad experience (more than just one kind of birth) and maybe ask if there are some people you can call as her references (and get personal asking about their experiences, what they liked about her, what they didn't or wish had been better). Ask what kinds of tools she brings with her in her birth bag (can give you an idea of what she can offer though that is not limited to "stuff"). Price can be a part, but it shouldn't be too much of a decision maker.

How do you go about interviewing doulas?
Call and set up a time to get together and meet each other, ask some questions (stuff you're concerned about, wondering about, about her, her experience, etc.) and go from there.

What does a doula do for you?
I put some ideas above - but they can really do most anything non-medical... they can be as limited as taking care of the little stuff (cool washcloths for your DH to use for you, snacks for everyone, setting up, picking up, running interferance with family if you need that, or hospital staff if you want that... etc.).

I personally take doula clients even if they have the same due date - I had two Moms labor the same day though they were 3w apart in due dates... I have a back-up doula, but made it to both when they needed me... I know in my heart I'll personally be the doula to those I'm meant to. If my back-up is meant to be there, she will instead.

Good luck!
~Julie
post #5 of 17
Thread Starter 
Thank you both so much for the wonderful information. You have definitely talked me into hiring a doula!!

I e-mailed a doula last night who I found on the dona.org website. She was great! She answered a lot of my questions and seemed generally interested in my concerns and what I needed from her. She was very impressed that I wanted a home waterbirth!

What's hard is that dh and I are moving sometime this year (before my edd) and have no idea where we'll end up. It could be more than an hour away from where we are now. That is making it difficult to find a midwife and doula this early in the game...

Thanks again mamas!
post #6 of 17
Well, get an idea of exactly what you are looking for, and you'll find the perfect fit wherever you end up. (If you're in WA, let me know ).
post #7 of 17
We are planning to hire a doula for this one. For my last ones my best friend and I read the curriculum books for the doula courses and she did a great job. This time we are 2000 miles away from her so I am going to hire one since she can't be here. Personally I think I really need one because my DH is WAY too hands off and unavaiable as a support person for me during labor (I don't think it is intentional, I think he just freezes going "what the heck?!?!")

Deb
post #8 of 17
Yeah Deb, sometimes it's amazing what a doula can bring out in your partner... they make them look good . My poor DH... that responsibility being put on him is like asking me to start naming stats for a football season (out of our arenas to say the least). Hopefully this time a doula will help him help me (if I want help)... looking forward to a more enabled husband and I know he will gain confidence in the process. Win win.
post #9 of 17
I won't be much help for suggestions on finding a doula, since I didn't have to interview mine! (My mom happens to be a dona doula.) I can tell you why you would want one though! My husband was truly wonderful. He was very tuned in to me and sat at my head and talked me through everything, including 5.5 hours of pushing and what felt like strong muscle pain in my leg. (We had taken hypnobirthing classes, which gave him a lot to work with, BTW.) BUT, it was great to have mom (doula) there to be in charge of music, environment, massage, etc. She also has been to many births, so was able to answer any questions I had and provide encouragement. Good luck finding someone. They really provide an incredible service.
post #10 of 17
I had a doula last time and I loved it! She was there by my side through it all even when my dh couldn't handle it (dd2 was his first). I loved having a woman by my side. there were parts of my labor where no one but dh would do, but for most of it she was much better than he was. There's nothing like the gentle understanding touch of a woman.
post #11 of 17
There is a thread on the "I'm Pregnant" board about how much doulas cost -- it really varied a ton by what part of the country you're in.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ght=doula+cost

We weren't sure we wanted to hire a doula, but even my relatively non-crunchy friend RAVED about how wonderful hers had been, worth her weight in gold, wouldn't go without her, etc. So we actually just interviewed the ones (two working as each other's backup) we plan to hire yesterday. I talked to another two and we just did not click. With these two yesterday, we CLICKED--both DH and I felt really comfortable with them. We asked a lot of the suggested interview questions from the DONA website, but it really came down to how well our personalities meshed. I'm excited about working with them, even though the cost made me gulp a little.
post #12 of 17
Yes,absolutely.

How I want her to be?

NOT like my mom

Elseiwse, I'll start looking when we moved in June.
post #13 of 17
I'm not, but if we were planning a hospital birth I really think it would be essential. I figure DH will be my doula and I'll be my midwife. Lol, DH has informed me that he wants nothing to do with the blood and guts, so I think that is a good roll for him.

Cara
post #14 of 17
Is it appropriate to ask a doula to be able to care for children present at the birth? I'm delivering with a midwife and her assistant at a birthing center. I've delivered there twice before. My husband is a great coach/labor partner and I'm not worried about needing another support person .. except for the kids. Last time my mil was supposed to be focused on my son during labor but she was delayed and didn't arrive until after the birth. DH ended up taking greatest care of our son and I fortunately had a wonderful easy labor and no problems expressing my needs. But it was not ideal. Anyway, would a doula help with children, or is she there primarily as a birth partner/assistant/advocate? I loved having my son there to meet his new sister and would like to have both children there this time.
post #15 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by mojumi
is she there primarily as a birth partner/assistant/advocate?
:, I think. But it couldn't hurt to ask, if you make it really clear what you want -- more of a "family doula." If you don't feel like you want doula services for yourself though, a trusted babysitter would be a loooooooottttttt cheaper, I'm sure! Let us know what you end up doing, I'll be interested to hear.
post #16 of 17
I'm not having one, but that's because I'm going unassisted. I'm 100% pro-doula.
I am, however, having my best friend there for the second time - and she's very much like a doula.

I have considered becoming a doula, as well.
post #17 of 17
we are having one...we had with our homebirth of dd too.
for one thing, we live about 4 hrs away from my midwife and my doula is almost done with her midwifery studies so if i go into activ elabor really quickly, my doula will be here to (maybe) even help deliver our babe!
which did not happen last time...i was in labor for like 4 days, my doula was there for the first 2
and we sent her home when my midwife and my mom came (she was newly prego at the time and VERY tired!)

after the birth she would come and sotp by the store for things we needed and help me wash my first few rounds of cloth diapers etc.

she is actually now one of my best friends, but i met her via my doula exp with her.

if i were having a hospital birth i would have one without a doubt, though!
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