How do you know you are ready to add a second child to your family?

[Lisashepp]

I have always wanted 3 kids

My dh wants to be done having kids by the time he is 30 9he turned 25 in November)

I am so in love with my daughter, that I just can't imagine splitting my time with her and another baby, and I don't want her to be jealous.

I also have a pituitary tumor (prolactinoma), I would have to wean dd to start taking Dostinex to get pregnant (though I have heard good things about Vitex).

I wouldn't be in such a hurry if dh didn't have this stupid 30 rule-- which I have talked to him about BTW-- he isn't willing to budge.

So what do I do? what would you do?

I don't want to wean dd. I might try the Vitex route first

even if I got pregnant soon she would be at least 3 before the new baby was born-- would she be able to cope? she is the center of my world right now

I just don't know....


Lisa

[USAmma]

I think you will just know when you are ready. It should be based on your heart. When I had Abi (12/10/00!) I had a hard first 18 mos. with her. I was sure that I didn't want another one for a loooong time, at least 4 years apart. Then a few months ago Abi started making friends and really being interested in other kids. She kept asking for them when we were at home in a sad little voice, and I felt sad that she didn't have siblings to play with like some of her little friends did. The siblings seemed very close to each other, esp. as they got older. At the same time I was having trouble finding bc that worked for me without causing bad side effects. Dh and I very suddenly one day decided it was time for another baby. Even two month earlier I would have not been ready.

Darshani

[Alstrameria]

I start with wanting babies. If I'd have thought about dd's whole life I would have been much more intimidated. So, I signed on for the baby and the rest seems to be working itself out. I feel the same this time. I feel a strong urge to be pregnant, so I guess it's time. As for having two, I don't know any more about that than I did about having one before dd showed up. I'm certain that will work itself out too.

Dh, surprisingly, is completely on board with our plan for #2, so I know I'll have lots of support, and vice versa.

Dd is 18 mos now, so she will be at least 2 1/2 if there's a new babe. I think she'll be fine if we are fine.

5 years seems like lots of time for 2 more dks. Say you have the next one in a year's time, your second would be almost four if you snuck #3 just before the deadline.

My dh is strong minded also. Once he makes his mind up, it usually made up.