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preschool - Page 2

post #21 of 49
It sounds like you are confident that you are doing the right thing for your child, and I too think you should just ignore the people putting pressure on you.

Is preschool necessary? Absolutely not, espcecially if you are enjoying your time at home with your ds and finding fun and stimulating activities to do. When I was young, preschool wasn't commonly done at all.

Do I think 3 is too young for preschool? Yes for some, but not for others, judge on an individual basis. And it depends on the program. I think an all day program is too much for a child that age, but a few hours a day once or twice a week sounds more reasonable. Plus the style of learning/care is important too. I did alot of research and looked at many places before finding a place I was comfortable with. My biggest goal was finding a place where he would be with other kids, have fun, and the emphasis wasn't placed on learning letters or numbers.

Do I have my 3/yo in preschool? Yes, but he goes two days a week for 2-3 hours a day. They do the same things that I do with him at home, reading books, having a snack, coloring/painting/stringing beads/gluing items to paper, and playing outside. If ds chooses not to participate in any of the above, he is not forced to. He can go to the reading corner or play blocks or trucks or at the sand table instead. If he's hungry or thirsty, he can eat or drink.

I personally was tearing my hear out last winter, (it was a cold snowy winter) being alone with ds all day. And he was bored. I am not the best with crafts/stimulating activities and am better with reading and cuddling. I also have low energy due to a chronic health issue. Ds loves being with other kids, and we live in an isolated area. Any other kids his age in the area are either in preschool or daycare all day (figures eh?) And I love the break I get, I admit it. So it's a good fit for us. I am a sahm and thought I'd never send ds to preschool, and that it was unecessary and even detrimental to kids. But as you can see, I've changed my mind.
post #22 of 49
Quote:
your a SAHM, I don't see why you pay for pre-school to have them take care of your child while you sit at home.
I should just ignore this, but I'm tired and it keeps bugging me. Then again, maybe I wouldn't be as tired if I actually sat at home while DS was in preschool instead of running errands, picking up dry cleaning, buying groceries, or hurrying home to clean the house and start dinner during the 2 1/2 hours he is at preschool. I even, gasp!, meet my friends once in a while for a cup of coffee where we can have uninterupted conversations that don't require spelling out the juicy bits. I also used preschool time to schedule all my OB apppointments when I was pregnant.

I don't understand why anyone would bother you about whether or not your child goes to preschool, but I also don't understand why you are so critical of moms who do send their DC to preschool.

DS likes going to preschool - it's fun for him and my DSs both learned things that it hadn't occurred to me to teach them yet. Plus they get to play with a wider assortment of playthings than we own (or care to own) and interact with a variety of friends. In my area (and maybe this varies) preschool is only 2-3 hours per day, a few days per week depending on age (2 days for 2s, 3 days for 3s, etc.). He gets to play and I get things done so in the afternoon he can have my undivided attention during the baby's naptime.
post #23 of 49
I agree that ou sound like you have thought it out and made a good decision for your family.

My younger son will be 3 in June and I will not send him to ps next year - he is not even close to ready for that sort of time away from me on his own - I might when he is 4 (a couple of mornings a week for a couple of hours, not all day) depending on what signs he is sending me.

My older son went to ps when he was younger (2.5) for a number of reasons --- including that the first thing he did every morning was walk straight to the front door hang on the knob and scream "out! out! out!" I would take him out and to the park and library and whatnot, but it didn't seem to cut it for him so I found him a nice Montessori program that he ENJOYED and asked to go to on his days off. It was nice for him, but I don't even think it would be nice for my second son. When children are this young - it is a very individualized decision to know what you & your kids are ready for.

I don't think preschool is necessary nor do I think it is sad to tune into what your kids want/need and find them a fun learning environment.

BJ
Barney & Ben
post #24 of 49
My thought is that time is so limited while they are young that I want to keep them with me as long as I can. This works for me, I can't speak for anyone else.
My dd, who will be 4 soon, does not go to pre-school.
post #25 of 49
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teensy
I should just ignore this, but I'm tired and it keeps bugging me. Then again, maybe I wouldn't be as tired if I actually sat at home while DS was in preschool instead of running errands, picking up dry cleaning, buying groceries, or hurrying home to clean the house and start dinner during the 2 1/2 hours he is at preschool. I even, gasp!, meet my friends once in a while for a cup of coffee where we can have uninterupted conversations that don't require spelling out the juicy bits. I also used preschool time to schedule all my OB apppointments when I was pregnant.

I don't understand why anyone would bother you about whether or not your child goes to preschool, but I also don't understand why you are so critical of moms who do send their DC to preschool.

DS likes going to preschool - it's fun for him and my DSs both learned things that it hadn't occurred to me to teach them yet. Plus they get to play with a wider assortment of playthings than we own (or care to own) and interact with a variety of friends. In my area (and maybe this varies) preschool is only 2-3 hours per day, a few days per week depending on age (2 days for 2s, 3 days for 3s, etc.). He gets to play and I get things done so in the afternoon he can have my undivided attention during the baby's naptime.

If you have read my post, you would also read that I said NO OFFENSE to those moms WHO DO put their children in pre-school. I personally can only speak from my point of view, wonderful that your happy being at home while your child is in pre-school, like I said, I just don't understand it. And now I have read your point of view, I can see why some moms do like having their children in pre-school so they can have "mommy social time" or however you want to call.
Sometimes we need to see someone elses point view to understand a certain thing.
post #26 of 49
Didn't the last preschool thread get locked?........



I'll bite though if your kids being home with you is working for you then great, keep it up. Don't let people tell you otherwise some kids aren't ready some parents aren't ready, that is all fine.

That said ds started preschool at 3, 2hours a day 2 days a week (gasp I was without my son for 4 WHOLE HOURS A WEEK) dh was working long hours and finishing his PHD dissertation so those 4 hours a week with only one high needs child were wonderful. He now goes 2 hours a day 3 days a week (6 whole hours a week).


I have never once in 1.5 years of preschool sat at home and rested/relaxed/exercised or anything "me" related, I do the grocery shopping with only one child, run errands/ doctors appointments whatever with only 1 child. I look forward to sending dd in a few years so manybe I could pee alone, something I haven't done in 4.5 years. Ok ranting over.


Also ds's preschool is wonderful, he is in a class with 8 kids total, a teacher and aid (a 1 to 4 ratio) they play and do crafts, they provide him with activities and stimulations that I just can't. He has friends indepedent of me, he doesn't just have to play with kids because I'm friends with their mom's, he can decide who he wants to play with (out of 7 other kids) he's developing a small amount of independance....... For us it has not only been wonderful for me, but he has really blossomed. I looked into a number of preschools and found a great one.
post #27 of 49
Quote:
If you have read my post, you would also read that I said NO OFFENSE to those moms WHO DO put their children in pre-school. I personally can only speak from my point of view, wonderful that your happy being at home while your child is in pre-school, like I said, I just don't understand it. And now I have read your point of view, I can see why some moms do like having their children in pre-school so they can have "mommy social time" or however you want to call.
Ummm, that still sounded really judgmental and snarky.

I'll bite too. DS goes to a toddler program that's part of a local preschool. It's 2 hours, two mornings a week. I normally wouldn't have sent a 2 year old to "school," but he has a speech delay and one of the things I learned in researching that is that a big predictor of "outcome" is whether or not the child has peer interaction. We had been going to lots of activities (Gymboree, swim class, story time, etc.), but I was always with DS and able to "translate" for him. For our situation, it's been really beneficial. I also like that I get to give DD (9 months) my undivided attention during those times, something she doesn't get too much with her big brother around.

If he didn't have the speech delay issues, however, I'd probably have started him in Montessori at 3 (two mornings a week.) Why? Because I'm a fan of the Montessori teaching style and programs and as a Montessori "grad" myself, I have really great memories of having a lot of fun there.

I love being a SAHM (gave up a career as a litigator to do so) and am very comfortable with my decision to have DS in the program for those 4 (total) hours each week. And when you say things like this in your OP:
Quote:
I don't see why you pay for pre-school to have them take care of your child while you sit at home
it makes it sound a lot more like you're judging those moms that make different decisions and are looking to rip on them instead of being interested in listening to and learning about people's reasoning and choices.
post #28 of 49
Just an added note, if ds had not liked school or probably even cried when I tried to leave, I would not have tried sending him.
But I'm not going to say that I use the time I get alone for errands and cleaning, I don't. I make my doctors appts. for that time, go to the gym, take a walk, then have a leisurely shower or breakfast on one of the days, the other day I may do errands. So yes, sometimes I am sitting at home while he's going sometimes, and enjoying every minute!
post #29 of 49
If I didn't have a cool parent co-op play based preschool in town, he wouldn't go. Like the others said, 2 days a week, 2.5 hours. He has somewhere to go and play with fun different toys, paint, do crafts (which I encourage at home as well, don't get me wrong), play outside with other kids his age. For whatever reason he picks up things from his teacher that go in one ear and out the other when I say it (ie: covering a cough). It has also helped me guage the way he operates in a social and school setting... and the parents are very involved, it is so cool to be there watching and playing. and when I'm not there, I get to watch Lost. Hooray for tivo!
post #30 of 49
Well, I think each parent has to make the right decision for their own child. I don't think it's right to make blanket statements and certainly, to the OP, nobody should be pushing you in a direction you don't want to go.

That being said, dd is 3, almost 4 and started... GASP!!!!... FULL-TIME preschool this year!! And I'm... A SAHM!!! Flame me now!!!!

But this is why we send her...

We will not homeschool. It is not for us for more reasons than can be listed. We are a multi-cultural, multi-lingual family and we want dd to be raised as diversely as possible in this crappy midwest city (as long as we are here). Dd goes to an International (over 50 countries represented by the student body), language immersion private school. It happens that because school is NOT conducted in English, but the target language, that the first couple of years of school is basically learning the language and culture of the target language. It is NOT daycare in any way. They spend the whole day, except for a short quiet time in the afternoon, learning, playing, and socializing in the target language.

Dd BEGGED me to go to school since we returned from living in Germany last year. At the time we were there, all of her friends were in the process of getting ready to go to Kindy. She so wanted to go. From day one of school this past August, FULL TIME from the beginning, she has never had a single problem going to school. When she's home, we engage her in all sorts of things and she loves her time at home as well. But honestly, over Christmas break... she got bored and couldn't wait to go back to school.

So, I don't see anything at all wrong with preschool. Even full-time. But it's not for everyone and I'd never judge anyone for NOT sending their kids.
post #31 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic
So, I don't see anything at all wrong with preschool. Even full-time. But it's not for everyone and I'd never judge anyone for NOT sending their kids.
Exactly. THis is what I think too. For my kids I can see no reason to send them to preschool. There is so much pressure right now, it just seems like preschool is almost becoming a prerequisite for kindergarden. This is a trend I dont approve of and dont participate in.
However that doesnt mean that preschools cant be great places with lots of wonderful things to enjoy and a special way to enrich a child's life.
Dont even get me started on my opinions of all day kindergarden. LOL
post #32 of 49
Thread Starter 
I apologise to anyone who I might have offended.
After re-reading my own words, I guess I did sound a bit judgemental and was being a hypocrite by saying how I hated being judged, yet I was judging myself.
I guess it takes a good person to admit to their mistakes.
I am very sorry. I hope y'all accept my apologies, and thanks for being honest to me.
post #33 of 49
No worries. FWIW, I think it's very cool of you to say that
post #34 of 49
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueStateMama
No worries. FWIW, I think it's very cool of you to say that
Thank you.
post #35 of 49
Everyone's situation is different. Just do what is best for your child and for you! Everyone else can just bug-off. My DS ( just turned 4 in Nov.) goes to preschool twice a week for 2 1/2 hours. We just moved to a new town in a different state over the summer. My DH works long hours and I have NOBODY to help out if I have a Dr. appointment or anything. So preschool has been great for us. DS loves going to see his new friends and has a really fun time. I am able to make an appointment, run errands, clean the house or if I am really lucky, get 15 minutes to sit down with a cup of coffee.
post #36 of 49
Sending a child to preschool is a family decision and every family and every child is different.

DS started preschool 2 months before he turned 4. He has a speech delay so his therapist recommended preschool so he could be with his peers to develop his speech. I searched until I found the perfect place for him. This year he is in the 3 year old class (his speech level is around 2.5 years) with 3 other children and next year he will go to the preK (4 year old class) that has 8-10 children in it. Then the plan is kindergarden when he is 5, turning 6.

It works great for us as DS is quite the introvert and the socialization is a good thing. He loves it. I love having time with just DD. He goes 3 hours a day, 2 days a week. And we have seen a great improvement in his speech. His teacher is in contact with his therapist and has experience with children with speech delays. It didn't even bother her that he wasn't potty trained (he is now tho ). She just loves him. It is a really good fit.

But it is an individual decision. I think that if you are happy the way things are, then there is no reason to do any different. We got the same thing when Ds was younger. I just told them that we have decided what works best for our family.

*of course I still got blamed for his speech delay.....whatever*
post #37 of 49
I found a sweet, laid back, play-focused preschool that my daughter loves and her brothers want to go to.

I don't think that preschool is necessary. But I really like this one. I wish I could go to it! It gives my daughter her own space, and gives me some space. My boys are stoked about getting to go next year.

I'm a weirdo though...I love preschool (at least mine) but I plan on homeschooling my kids once they hit the 'academic' age. I just look at this as some breathing space for me for two years (since parenting has been pretty darn intense with 17 mo older + twins), as well as getting to know some local families.

I don't think preschool is an advantage or a disadvantage later in life--unless something was terribly wrong with the preschool (in which case it could be a really big disadvantage). I wouldn't worry about what other people say to you.
post #38 of 49
I just wanted to reply. my ds is in preschool. he went last year when he turned 3. It has been so great for him, he loves it and I love his teachers. I do work part time, and he goes two mornings on teh days I work while my dd is with my mom, and she picks him up. DD will go next year when she is 3. It has been a very valuable experience, and as I work pt I will not be homeschooling and feel it is an important buffer for kindergarten. Last year he was two mornings, and this year he goes three. I am home wednesdays, and he goes to school in the am, and I have the morning to spend with just dd.. and i love that time. I really feel like he needs this interaction and busyness that I cant provide for him all the time. He misses school in the summer and is anxious to get back to the hubbub of the classroom. I am home 3 1.2 days a week, and I really feel like I need that break. I am not the most patient person in the world, and dont think it would matter if I was a sahm or not. What changed for me was having baby #2, it really shortened my patience and I found they needed time away from each other.

If he was my only, though, and I was as sahm, I might be less inclined to send him. I would be a little concerned about that transition to kindergarten if I was going to send him though. Ds spent the first half of his first year of preschool just learning how things work, how to be a part of a group and function in a classroom. I am a little less anxious about kindergarten at least knowing that he is already familiar with a classroom routine, yk?

OTH, I do recognize that preschool is not for every child. If my child had a very hard time with it, I wouldnt send him.. but he just loves it.
post #39 of 49
Just another vote here for Montessori preschools. My son goes 3 days a week, 3 hrs/day, and he really likes it. Only 5 kids in his 'class' and the teachers are great, really warm and sweet. Montessori is cool because it's not just daycare (if done right).

I do agree that the 'socialization' thing is silly...to a point. There's something to be said for a single child getting a bit of experience not being the center of the universe.

Not a SAHM, though my ex is practically a SAHD.
post #40 of 49
Aside from the fact that my social and independent little man loves having a place to go without his baby sister, the preschool we have chosen is faith-based, which provides him with religious and cultural experiences and ethics. I would never, ever choose an "academic" environment for a preschooler; I do like that at this play-based school he's learning prayers, songs, practices that I don't know (not being raised in this faith). For me, the "socialization" benefits are that he now knows many friends that celebrate the same holidays we do.

Plus there are socialization benefits for me too: parents are very friendly and there is a great network of moms and families.
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