I'm so frustrated and angry with my co-workers

[JSerene]

I'm an RN and every couple of months someone on the unit has to work a double shift due to lack of staff. Technically, it's my turn to do the next double, but I can't because I have a nursling at home. DD will not take an artificial nipple, period. I work nights and she goes hungry till I get home, but we manage okay because she usually sleeps. If I worked a double she would have to go 18 hours without breastfeeding. My co-workers actually expect me to do this. I don't understand why. They tell me I need to take my turn and deal with my kid issues. How unkind.

RN's who don't have child care are excempt from working extra shifts, no questions asked. I don't understand how they could hassle me about needing to go home to my baby to feed her. What's the difference?

I'm so frustrated. I'm going to go to the pediatrician this week and see if she'll give me a doctors note saying I can't work double shifts.

Thanks for listening.

[paquerette]

They tell me I need to take my turn and deal with my kid issues. How unkind.

Your kid has "issues" for needing nourishment and liquid. How silly and selfish of her! You'd think a bunch of RNs would know better. I hope they don't deprive patients of food and water for 18 hours!

[grypx831]

Originally Posted by JSerene

RN's who don't have child care are excempt from working extra shifts, no questions asked.

Could you just tell them you don't have childcare since nobody will watch her without being able to feed her? It might be worth a try?

[mommyto3girls]

:

Or how about going to the floor manager and saying since you are being pressured by everyone you need a room set up for your baby and dh or whoever will be watching her to stay in all day and that you need a 30 minute break every 1 1/2 hours to nurse her at work

[mishelly]

Originally Posted by mommyto3girls

:

Or how about going to the floor manager and saying since you are being pressured by everyone you need a room set up for your baby and dh or whoever will be watching her to stay in all day and that you need a 30 minute break every 1 1/2 hours to nurse her at work

I'm a critical care RN - now a SAHM for a while - any RN will understand that this is FUNNY!!
We don't have enough time to pee, let alone nurse a baby!

I would definately get a doctors excuse limiting you to an 8 hour shift, NO EXCEPTION, for medical reasons - get it to say "medical reason" or something along that vein and they can't make you work more than the 8 hour shift. I actually got an excuse just like that when I was pregnant - at 20 weeks - and that was the end of it - I worked my shift and had my medical excuse from forced overtime. Your doctor should not have any problem writing that excuse - go to the pediatrician and get the excuse if your doc won't do it. It is a medical reason -you are a nursing mother and your baby needs your milk FROM YOU. PERIOD - no need for any other explanation.

Good luck!

[TeaghansMama]

oh Mama.. I amso sorry you are dealing with stress. I'm a nurse in the OR and am so blessed to have understanding co-workers and management when it comes to BFing. I agree with getting a note from a doctor. And the excuse that no one will watch your HUNGRY child!! I hope you are able to get this resolved soon!
It's amazing how uncompassionate and uninformed others in our profession can be isn't it??

[JSerene]

I'm going to call the pediatricain first thing this morning - I am determined to get a doctors note.

What really drives me crazy is that my co-workers are super-breastfeeding-supportive-midwife nurses! I don't get how they can advocate from here to the moon for our patients, then treat me and my baby this way this way. It's truly baffling.

[KA29]

I would work getting a note from the ped as well, but I would honestly tell my coworkers in that situation that I didn't have childcare because childcare by definition is taking care of the child -- feeding, diapering, making sure the child is safe etc. Not feeding a baby for 18 hours is not childcare because it is not taking care of one of the child's most basic needs. I'm shocked a bf supportive nurse-midwife wouldn't 'get' that.

[JSerene]

I would like to simply tell them I can't stay due to lack of childcare, but unfortunately they all know my dh is a SAHD. No one can understand why I need to get home to the baby when he's there with her already. Dealing with my "kid issues" to them means inisting she take a bottle from dh in my absence (as if we haven't tried). Sigh. I know she's almost 8 months old, but she still needs to nurse. Jen.

[timneh_mom]

I'm really sorry. I am an RN now SAHM and I can totally see a hospital/coworkers having problems with this. It's unfortunately part of the culture. It's a shame. I hope the doctor's note works... you would think medical people would have more empathy for you but I was in it long enough to know that they do not and that's just how it is.

[Janice in Canada]

Where are you? If you were in Canada, I'd have lots of help for you!

This happened to me, I had to go on overnight sales conferences and meetings, when my dd was 6 months old and older. I got the note from my doctor. It was no problem getting it - it was no bother to her - she just wrote it on a presciption pad! and said that my baby must be breastfed due to medical reasons (allergies in my family) and I must be available to her.

So when she was 6 months, I just missed those meetings, and then later on, she came with me to conferences.

Anyhow, FYI, I sit on bfing (provincial and and national) committees, and I know what you mean about the difficulty in getting nurses to take bfing breaks, due to understaffing.

In my province, the Saskatchewan Union of Nurses actually negotiated and recieved paid breastfeeding breaks. They get one, half-hour paid nursing break per shift. But hardly anyone takes them, because of peer pressure to stay on the floor and not over burden someone else.

BTW, I prepared a whole presentation on this issue for our Federal Labour Standards Review Commission. You might be interested in checking it out at:
The mother's stories in the appendix are especially interesting.
http://fls-ntf.gc.ca/en/sub_fb_14.asp
Another submission that addresses breastfeeding
http://fls-ntf.gc.ca/en/sub_fb_10.asp

Janice

[mommyto3girls]

Originally Posted by mishelly

I'm a critical care RN - now a SAHM for a while - any RN will understand that this is FUNNY!!
We don't have enough time to pee, let alone nurse a baby!



Good luck!

It was meant to be rediculously funny! I am not an RN, but I spent over 100 days in the hospital from Dec. 6 through June 7 on colo-rectal floors, In ICU, on surgical floors, and in OB. I got to be pretty good friends with my nurses and many of them would come to my room to "assist me" so we could sit and have a chat and they could have a few minutes off of their feet. Supposedly I am a good patient, I had lots and lots of medical problems, including being the first PICC line patient on the OB floor and I was there for 4 weeks. However I value the job that the nurses were doing and really really limited the number of times I used my call button as I knew how busy they were.

[JSerene]

Originally Posted by Janice in Canada

Where are you? If you were in Canada, I'd have lots of help for you!

This happened to me, I had to go on overnight sales conferences and meetings, when my dd was 6 months old and older. I got the note from my doctor. It was no problem getting it - it was no bother to her - she just wrote it on a presciption pad! and said that my baby must be breastfed due to medical reasons (allergies in my family) and I must be available to her.

So when she was 6 months, I just missed those meetings, and then later on, she came with me to conferences.

Anyhow, FYI, I sit on bfing (provincial and and national) committees, and I know what you mean about the difficulty in getting nurses to take bfing breaks, due to understaffing.

In my province, the Saskatchewan Union of Nurses actually negotiated and recieved paid breastfeeding breaks. They get one, half-hour paid nursing break per shift. But hardly anyone takes them, because of peer pressure to stay on the floor and not over burden someone else.

BTW, I prepared a whole presentation on this issue for our Federal Labour Standards Review Commission. You might be interested in checking it out at:
The mother's stories in the appendix are especially interesting.
http://fls-ntf.gc.ca/en/sub_fb_14.asp
Another submission that addresses breastfeeding
http://fls-ntf.gc.ca/en/sub_fb_10.asp

Janice

Thank you for the links. Very informative. It gives me some ideas on what to say to my co-workers when I'm calm enough to address the problem. I haven't talked with them about it yet or gone to my boss yet because 1. I'm still angry and 2. I want to go in armed with a note from a doctor.

[Finch]

I'm a nurse, my son wouldn't take a bottle until 4 months of age. And even then he'd only take one from dh, no one else, and only like 1 ounce at a time.

I was supposed to go back to work when he was born, but figured out very quickly that that would be a very detrimental decision for him. My co-workers I'm sure were pissed. I, quite frankly, didn't care. My kid comes first. I adore my coworkers and all, and felt really guilty for a while for not going back to work, but did what I had to do for him.

He has since been diagnosed with special needs, so it's a good thing I didn't go back to work (except very very VERY prn). I worked this weekend, and my nurse manager was there, and she said how they wished I'd come back full time, but I told her, kid comes first. Period.

If I were you, I'd call out sick. Or dead. Or out of the country. Whatever. Kid comes first. I know how b**chy nurses are and how gossipy and back-stabby they can be, and that was something that initially bothered me...I'm sure they were talking all kinds of trash about me when I didn't come back. But yanno what? WHO CARES. They'll get over it.

If you don't get that note, call out.

[Gidget]

Originally Posted by JSerene

Dealing with my "kid issues" to them means inisting she take a bottle from dh in my absence (as if we haven't tried).

In dd's early months there were times I had to leave work to go feed her and this attitude you describe infuriated me. They didnt know my baby and had no clue. My dd really would rather have gone hungry and cried all day, driving my sitter nuts, than take a bottle. She knew what she liked and accepted no substitutes. She is almost 4 now and is still that way with just about everything in her little life.

I hope you find a solution soon. I am sorry that no one is willing to try to understand your situation. Especially RNs.

[sapphire_chan]

First off, I still think you should try getting the doctor's note, etc. It's absurd to ask a mother with a 6 month old to work a double shift (it's absurd to ask a father with a 6 month old as well, but at least he probably wouldn't be bfeeding.) However, have you tried an alternative feeding method? Like finger-feeding or cup feeding? I believe they are very slow, but could be useful in true emergencies.

[DWAXSMOM]

I am also a RN, now WAHM. I understand your situation and back your decision to get a note from your ped. The healthcare system takes advantage of us at every turn. They bend rules to suit there needs. I would not feel bad one little bit. You have every right to be angry. It always made me so sad that nurses, who are mostly women, never support each other. Being taken advantage off over and over makes you jaded. I never went back to hospital nursing after my son was born. I knew things like this would happen. I was constantly being "mandated" to work doubles. I worked 2-3 doubles a week sometimes. I knew this would never work for my family. I opened my own business instead. Good luck with this. Next time the union starts looking for supporters again think about it. They do make a HUGE difference in the way you are treated!

[Slabobbin]

[hopefulfaith]

Another RN posting support, mama.

I really don't have anything to add to what everyone else said -- everyone's right -- get that doctor's note, and get that phrase "medically necessary", or whatever, in there. Fight it, all the way past your managers if you need to, up to the HR level and all of that. I think you have ground to stand on.

It is awful the way nurses treat each other...and I won't even get on my soapbox tonight...but fight for your baby, mama!!