Hi, I'm not sure if this reply is going to the right place, but I'm trying to reply to Awaken's post about nursing/biting.
My kids are 10 and 12 now, so I'm out of the baby stage, but I had a lot of trouble with my first baby not sleeping much. I can't imagine going through it without my husband there to help. So, first of all, know that what you are doing is really challenging and it is to be expected (therefore, very normal) for you to be struggling and feeling overwhelmed. Some take comfort in knowing that, and sometimes we need someone to tell us that.
Second, when I was in that phase of life, someone told me a very comforting helpful bit of information--she said "You know, they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture". The intention is to make the person feel crazy. That is probably where you are living right now. I've been there. It's really bad.
Thirdly, you do not have to allow your one year old to bite you when nursing. I think that the recommended response to a biting baby is to remove them from the breast. She's probably old enough to understand that consequence after having it applied consistently a number of times. If you can clearly communicate what's happening -- "No bite." remove her from the breast, but maybe keep holding her. Then let her back on and if she bites again, repeat the message and removal. If she does nurse nicely, maybe give lots of reinforcement--smiling, cooing, "nice nursing", "that feels nice". If she keeps biting, maybe she doesn't really need to nurse just then. A nursing consultant might be helpful with just this aspect of things.
What you said was that if you didn't allow her to do that, she screamed and screamed. What was she getting out of doing that? It's really okay for you to not allow her to hurt you. Can you figure out why she is doing that? I don't think she would have an actual need to do that behavior, so is it a result of something else, is it a way to keep you holding her? What is it that she needs and is there another way to help her get that need met? Do you think it is pure behavior for behavior sake? If you think it is, then you might be able to help/teach her about changing her behavior.
I know it's hard to hear your baby to scream and scream --can you tell if she is in pain or discomfort? Are there any other ways she can be comforted besides nursing? It seems like anything would be better than allowing her to hurt you (especially your nipples, as that profoundly affects your ability and comfort for continuing nursing!). That is hard on your relationship with her in terms of your ability to feel loving toward her in some ways, I would imagine. Not having that experience/interaction between you would be better than her getting what she wants (what makes her stop screaming) and you getting hurt and aggravated for 5 hours when what you both need is to be sleeping. If you walked, rocked, sang, whatever-ed while she screamed, would that be awful-but-slightly-better-than-shredded-nipples?
I hope you won't feel like I'm criticizing or judging you...I've been through what you're talking about and struggled. With the perspective of someone whose kids are older, I do see that it's not as bad as it seems for babies to cry. There is even an author --Aletha Seaver --who suggests that sometimes babies need to cry. That it is a way for them to release stress. Sometimes/some babies need to use that method to release the everyday stress that occurs from being a baby, and they may need to release in order to go to sleep. Her point of view is that the most important part is to be with the baby when they cry. So maybe you could try just letting her cry/scream right beside you on the bed. give her/yourself maybe 10 minutes and see how you both feel at that point. It may be that she releases and exhausts herself and settles for better nursing or goes to sleep. I know how hard it is to let your baby cry, but what if that is what she needs? There are so many unknowns. But I think trying it while being right there and conveying sympathetic feelings and love and acceptance might be worth a try. You will probably instinctively know a few minutes in whether this is okay for your baby or not. I tried Cry It Out once with my first baby, and within a minute my heart was saying loudly, "This is not right for this baby!". I listened.
Given how little it sounds like she sleeps, she may also be functioning at a sleep deprived level. I know my babies both had this phenomenon of: the less they slept the less they could sleep.! If they were well rested, they could more easily settle to sleep and also to put themselves back to sleep after a normal cycle--so if they woke at 4:00am, they could settle themselves back to sleep rather than waking fully and need help to get back to sleep. The more tired they were, the more likely they were to have trouble getting settled down to sleep, and the more likely they were to wake early and be up and wanting to be done with bed....(which of course, made them even tired-er!) It's strange and counter-intuitive, but I have talked to lots of other parents who have noticed this. So it's possible that she just feels like, "I feel icky and I need something!", and maybe she's trying the nursing/biting/pulling thing. Maybe you can help her explore different things to see if there is something else that will help her with that problem.
I did also notice that the more upset I became, the more upset the baby became--that was especially true with my second baby, my son, who is a super sensitive child. Which isn't great advice for someone who is trying their very best to stay calm...I know. But maybe knowing that will help. You could try some deep breathing to keep yourself calm.or whatever technique might help you.
Of course, this is all a guess, but I wanted to see if I could help you with some of the things that I learned when I was struggling with some of the same things. I wish for you the best, and hope that something here may help. I would be glad to "talk" if you would like to just bounce things off...