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Parenting and Rage - Page 89

post #1761 of 1766

I wanted to check back in here as well, and tell you all that I finally talked to my ND about this issue, and did some research on my own. I have D-MER, which is a dysphoric reaction to milk letdown. I didn't associate it with nursing right away, but once I started paying attention to my bouts of anger, it was almost exclusively correlated with the cycle of frustration just before letdown that was prolonged by stress. My ND gave me some great herbs and homeopathics that worked very well for me. Rhodiola Rosea and Sepia. I've been taking them for a week now and I cannot believe the amazingly positive difference it's made in my connection to and empathy for my son, as well as my other relationships (I'm even more tolerant of my mother, which is a miracle). 

 

I also agree with the PP who talked about how much we expect of ourselves. I wish that a multi-generational home would work for us, but we tried it and it was horrific. It's definitely not for everyone. I am still considering a communal home, possibly with another single mom, but that remains to be seen. Just thought I should check back in and share what worked for me.

post #1762 of 1766
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy!Mommy!Mommy! View Post

 Dad was the GD parent Mom was the hitter/name caller. 
Sorry to take your time but could you please tell me what GD stands for, I've been able to figure out most online acronyms but this one is new to me.  I also want to say thank you to all who post on this thread, it's refreshing and healing to see so many woman be honest and exposed.
post #1763 of 1766

So many beautiful thoughts here.  I'd like to recommend a couple of books that helped me.

"Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids," by Victoria Kindle-Hodson and "The Child Whisperer" by Carol Tuttle.

With love.

post #1764 of 1766

Hi,

I hear you. I've been there myself (meaning at the point where I felt that my rage was not only exhausting but potentially dangerous. What if I'd snap?). What has helped me (aside from the obvious things - sleep (yours) and at least brief bits of time to yourself (hard with small ones, I know. - but a 10 min walk around the block without anyone strapped onto your body could already help))  was to get some biodynamic craniosacral bodywork (NOT the Upledger type craniosacral work, which is fine, but much more problem-oriented) - receiving this kind of bodywork did not require any thought, any 'effort' on my side (apart from getting myself there), felt great (deeply relaxing, restful, respectful of my space), and allowed my body sort through some of the physiological remnants of earlier trauma. I became much less reactive, less prone to swells of rage, and much more able to be the mother I want to be (and enjoy my kids!)

Info and practicioners can be found at www.craniosacraltherapy.org

All the best,

Simone

post #1765 of 1766

JennyYoung44

 

I completely relate to your statement of having your ideals/beliefs clash with reality.  I am wondering if, 8 years later, anything has changed.  What have you learned in this time?  What things worked?  Which didn't?

post #1766 of 1766
Thank you so much for sharing! I have also been suffering from feeling a deep rage inside of me. Unfortunately, my 5yo daughter bears the brunt of it. She is beautiful, spirited and strong...just amazing! But she can push me to my worst self. Never ever would hurt my girl, but the anger I can feel is crazy! Then the guilt follows...oh God, the guilt!! The 2 emotions are a perfect recipe for cellular damage. I am all too aware. So I am trying to be merciful with myself and be my most present. I have also sought out help from Noella at roselenaalchemy.com. she created a custom blended flower essence for me, which really seems to help. Motherhood has been my greatest life privilege. I love that we are being real about a very real topic many of us mothers are working through. Cheers to us!
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