Wow, when I posted the original thread I thought one or two would "get me" . . .
I do believe our children come to us, they are meant for us, just as we were meant for our parents. We are on a journey together and the journey is awsome and difficult and yet, for me, a thing of wonder and beauty!
My dh and I often recall to each other how it felt to be little, my younger sister also is good at recalling her feelings.
(as a side bar I also was responsible for raising my younger sister, I saw her beaten by my mother and so I am ashamed to say that I often "disiplined" her the only way I knew how. She was four years younger than me and had as my mother does she had a serious OCD (undiagnosed at the time). I will never forget one night she was probably 4 or maybe 5. My mother was at work and I was trying to get A to bed. She had to clean the kitchen floors before she would go to bed. Of course I didn't want her to but she insisted in a way that only a person with OCD can. It was probably 11 o'clock and thesse heavy kitchen chairs we had were still in the hallway waiting for the floor to dry. I had to get us up for school in the morning and I was so tired. . . I snapped 9 years old and I snapped. I got "the belt" and threatened her to put the chairs away and get in bed. Of course she wouldn't/couldn't comply and so I just started hitting her. Move the Chairs, Whack, now, Wack, do it! Whack . . . and then I held her and rocked her to sleep.
Now I know other ways to interact with unruly children but their is always a fear that the rage will resurface and indeed it does (thankfully without the physical abuse).
One of the ways that really helps us is, as I started to say, recalling ourselves as children. Doing things just because. . . no reason, no malice, just doing, just being a child and the anger and disapproval that often came with that.
I do agree that we are raising these amazing children that are here to change the world. I am raising a child that doesn't buy into the status quo, that thinks for his self. That goes his own way, that knows his own mind . . . and yet he is barely 3 yo. I am working on finding a balance between letting him be and ensuring that he feels safe within the boundaries of our family and our rules re: respecting self and others.
I think that the rage comes to when he gets angry . . . I want to smoother his rage with mine.
Since posting I have had two episodes or more of being rough with DS. Mostly losing my patience luckily no RAGE. thank - God.
Better go . . . Thanks everyone for listening
I do believe our children come to us, they are meant for us, just as we were meant for our parents. We are on a journey together and the journey is awsome and difficult and yet, for me, a thing of wonder and beauty!
My dh and I often recall to each other how it felt to be little, my younger sister also is good at recalling her feelings.
(as a side bar I also was responsible for raising my younger sister, I saw her beaten by my mother and so I am ashamed to say that I often "disiplined" her the only way I knew how. She was four years younger than me and had as my mother does she had a serious OCD (undiagnosed at the time). I will never forget one night she was probably 4 or maybe 5. My mother was at work and I was trying to get A to bed. She had to clean the kitchen floors before she would go to bed. Of course I didn't want her to but she insisted in a way that only a person with OCD can. It was probably 11 o'clock and thesse heavy kitchen chairs we had were still in the hallway waiting for the floor to dry. I had to get us up for school in the morning and I was so tired. . . I snapped 9 years old and I snapped. I got "the belt" and threatened her to put the chairs away and get in bed. Of course she wouldn't/couldn't comply and so I just started hitting her. Move the Chairs, Whack, now, Wack, do it! Whack . . . and then I held her and rocked her to sleep.
Now I know other ways to interact with unruly children but their is always a fear that the rage will resurface and indeed it does (thankfully without the physical abuse).
One of the ways that really helps us is, as I started to say, recalling ourselves as children. Doing things just because. . . no reason, no malice, just doing, just being a child and the anger and disapproval that often came with that.
I do agree that we are raising these amazing children that are here to change the world. I am raising a child that doesn't buy into the status quo, that thinks for his self. That goes his own way, that knows his own mind . . . and yet he is barely 3 yo. I am working on finding a balance between letting him be and ensuring that he feels safe within the boundaries of our family and our rules re: respecting self and others.
I think that the rage comes to when he gets angry . . . I want to smoother his rage with mine.
Since posting I have had two episodes or more of being rough with DS. Mostly losing my patience luckily no RAGE. thank - God.
Better go . . . Thanks everyone for listening
my thoughts are with all the mamas who want to do better. Take it one moment at a time. 
I used to go shopping with DS1 when he was a baby during the day because I didn't really know what else I could do. Why is that the only option? Consume more.... 
:
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