Kristin, two things. It sounds like you don't feel like you had a chance to create a "me" before you became a mama and all the demands that entails. I know that I felt that I needed to go to college for my own self-esteem. I had been told for so many years that 'you need a college degree to be successful', that I had begun to believe that I wasn't "anybody" until I was "educated". Interestingly, after earning the degree as an adult, I realized how much I was learning without school and how much more I knew from my adult experiences that the younger students didn't know. Things like not getting all worked up about grades, and not worrying what the teacher thought; I had become more self-confident along the way by living as a responsible adult. So, the degree was a goal, but it really didn't give me what I thought it would. I had earned my confidence along the way through living. Now, we have chosen to unschool our son, precisely because we are aware that we ARE learning all the time and do not need someone with "credentials" to teach us about life and learning. We are living it; and Life teaches us without the judgment and artificial environment that school encompasses.
So, I am not denying your desire for an education, but you can begin finding ways to provide yourself with the sense of accomplishment, challenge, creativity and recognition in many arenas. I don't know what your passions are, but you might enjoy expanding those without the constraints of school. If writing, art, math, typing, business, parenting, sewing, etc., etc., are your interests, there are many ways to explore and grow within that area with additional "education" that is fun and rewarding. Or consider taking some on-line courses, or night courses, or CLEP some classes, or teach some classes in areas of your own skills and interests. Or start a small home business. There is no way not to be learning and challenged owning your own business. Begin reading everything and anything that is related to your passions, you will learn and grow much faster than in a classroom setting, imo. Consider getting the syllabus from the classes in which you are interested. Contact the professor and buy the books and read them on your own. You'll be head and shoulders ahead when you actually take the class. Anyway, there are many ways to get an education and a sense of accomplishment.
Another thing to consider is if you have PPD. Here is a private on-line quiz. http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=201141
And here is a thread about natural remedies for PPD. Often, our nutritional and mineral supplements are out of whack from pregnancy and birth and that influences the out-of-balance feeling of our moods. http://www.mothering.com/discussions...highlight=bach
Another issues is if you are an extrovert, you may need more social interaction than you are getting at home. I am and I do. I created playgroups, invited anyone with a child within 5 years of ours to come to visit. This helped my sanity more than anything else. Dh didn't understand, because he is an introvert and was out working with people all day. So, at the end of the day, he wasn't able to help meet my needs for intellectual stimulation either. Thankfully, there are on-line communities like this one.
Best wishes, Pat