I've been having a bad couple of days too;
I've just had really REALLY low patience/ tolerance levels.
I just totally diverted from my usual explaining to DD why something needs to be done and waiting for her to do it to flat out telling her to do it. and of course she doesnt. so I get frustrated.
she doesnt get it. she wont do anything without an explanation, and she's used to getting one. I almost never tell her to do anything, I explain why, and then ask her. but I'm low on energy. I just want her to do stuff.
I lost my temper with her about 1000 times in the last 2 days. I've just been so frustrated and depressed.
We went with some friends to a drum circle and then to camp at the beach. I dearly wanted to dance at the drumming, but DD wouldnt let me; she was so clingy, and wouldnt play with the other kids, even though they were asking her to (she gets very shy if there's more than one or 2 kids). So I just pretended that what I really wanted to do was play with her, and that I always go to parties and dont dance. but inside I was feeling frustrated and fuming.
so then we were at the beach, and in the morning I sooooo wanted to do some yoga. I havent done any since DH left, (2 weeks) and the other mamas were doing yoga on the beach while the kids were collecting shells/ building sandcastles. only DD would not get off me for one second, and refused to let me do yoga. she wouldnt play with the other kids, and insisted that I had to play with her.
My back was aching and I really wanted to do yoga. I really wanted to lie in the sun. To read my book, to have even one minute of SPACE!!! I just felt sooooo frustrated.
I started getting so angry and frustrated... I lost my temper, I went off to sit in my car and fume. I was feeling so depressed, started getting into suicidal thoughts, started thinking that I can never cope as a single mother, and I need to stay with an abusive DH whom I dont love just because I can't do it.
(it gets worse from here, but I wont go on...)
anyway, after a LOOOOONG day of me being in a constant fuming RAGE... I started bleeding.
suddenly, everything made sense. I wasnt depressed or suicidal, I was hormonal!
and I felt instantly better
I'm starting to see a pattern; last month, also the day after full moon, I had been dangerously depressed and raging for a couple of days and then started bleeding.
I've never had a regular cycle (anything between 30-60 days, usually around 45 days), but I'm starting to see a pattern.