I may be remembering through rose-colored glasses, but it seems to me that there was a time when a poster would post a question, receive various suggestions, and give a gracious 'thanks for the suggestions' even when said poster didn't agree with some suggestions or the philosophy behind them. If you received suggestions you didn't agree with, you just let it go. If you saw a suggestion to someone else that you very much disagreed with, you either ignored it and offered your own suggestion or you "respectfully disagreed" and opened yourself and the thread to discussion. And whatever you disagreed with might be food for thought instead of something to be defensive about. And when people really bothered you, well that's what the ignore list is for. If a thread really got under your skin, you just didn't post to it anymore.
As to the people replying to requests for help, often what I see now is a lot of people trying to prove themselves right and win over other people. What I seldom seem to see anymore is discussion with people having open minds, each acknowledging the value in the other person and what the other person has to say. What I see now is a lot of people trying to define what GD is, which just doesn't work, and labeling each other which also doesn't work-it doesn't promote discussion, it creates animosity, and it might actually get in the way of people getting the help they come here looking for. What I used to see was people actually discussing the potential pros and cons of doing this vs. doing that, which was something everyone in the community could learn from-and doing so in a respectful manner, rather than in argumentative or accusatory manners.
And for the love of pete, I have not ever read one single reply on this board (and no, I don't read every single post but I've read a lot over the years) suggesting that a mother "do nothing" and just give a hug and hope it passes in response to any given undesired behavior. The "doing nothing" is usually actually a suggestion to reframe, shift perspective, understand that learning takes time, and communicate with the child
-and communicating with your child about behavior is far from doing nothing. Looking at things from another perspective is not 'doing nothing' even if looking at things from that other perspective leads you to change your mind about the importance of struggling over a particular issue. Not once have I read a post advocating just sitting back eating your organic hummus and watching while your child goes haywire.
People, there just isn't a lot of actual communication going on here. That is the problem as I see it. There is an awful lot of defensiveness and proving of one's point, and very little actual communication. I am always hopeful, and I have always loved to take refuge in this place, but even I am getting very discouraged.
Flame on....I can take it. I'll just let it go.