i feel guilty for using a paci

[amygoforth]

So I'm using a pacifier with Drew. Why do I feel bad about this? I don't think I'm over-using it. He BFs often and his latch is super. I mainly use it for three reasons: 1) when he's cranky and nothing I do helps; 2) after I BF and burp him during the night. it helps him calmly fall back to sleep; and 3) after I've been holding him forever and I need to put him down for some reason (a shower maybe?)

Am I awful? I feel like as him mama, I should be able to soothe him without resorting to plastic and rubber. I know what the pros of paci's are (see above), but what are some cons?

[IncaMama]

well, i'm probably not gonna be winning any mom-of-the-year awards so feel free to ignore me...but i don't see any issues with occasional paci use AT ALL. Ava's hit or miss with the paci. sometimes she'll accept it, but most of the time she gives me the "wtf??" face. i mean, sure, dependence on a paci isn't the greatest...but it's also not the end of the world either. i say if it helps mama keep her sanity, it's aaaaall good. LOL

[aisraeltax]

i try my best to respond to Ethan at all times, but when i am trying to cook dinner (need to start a different thread about that one) and dh is watching him, i have been known to stick a binky in his mouth (did it the first time yesterday). dh wont put his finger in his mouth and is not really great at getting him calmed down. i try to take my own advice and let them work it out but sometimes i cant handle it...so i do a binky. you arent a bad mom. give yourself a break.
rach

[Slabobbin]

Hon don't overanalyze everything it will drive you crazy. As long as you aren't popping it in there when he's hungry it's no biggie. Just be glad you have them. I don't see it as a bad thing to use "rubber" I see it as a good thing because if you didn't have it available he would just have to cry.

[MinnieMouse]

Ben is suck boy. Has been since day one. I can nurse him for 45min-1hr..total for both sides and the child keeps pulling off but wants to suck. We let him suck our upside down pinky for 3wks and then I caved and gave him a pacifier.

Bethany never took one but Ben is all over it.

I am not thinking that it has damaged our nursing relationship much since Ben gained over 2.5lbs in his first 4wks and has about 10+ poopy diapers every day.

I use the paci when Ben is obviously in need of sucking or when we are traveling in the car. He HATES red lights or stalled traffic so if he is sleeping while sucking on the paci he will sleep through them instead of fuss/cry.

I look at it this way.. attachment parenting is all about meeting your child's needs...if your child NEEDS a pacifier then you don't lose your AP badge for using one!

[StarCat]

I can't get Sada to take a paci. She has taken it once. I know it would calm her down if she did, because a lot of her fussy time she just wants to suck. When I offer her a paci she gags and makes faces like it tastes like lemon or I'm trying to kill her. I wish she'd take one. I haven't slept more than an hour at a time for 2 1/2 days and I'm about to lose it!! maybe thats a new thread!

[Thursday Girl]

i haven't given josephine one yet but i have totally thought about it, i once even went looking for one we had leftover from jewely.

here's the thing babies have a high sucking NEED! more then just for nutrition. I think i even heard that in some archeological dig they found something they believe was used as a pacifier for babies. (don't ask me details it's a very vague recollection)
anyways, i gave Jewely one when she was an infant and when she was 3 or 4 months she just stopped using it, the same with my friend s kid, I think the extended paci use may have to do with parents sticking the paci in there mouth constantly. i have seen parents stick it in a kids mouth b/c he's talking. if you use it just to meet there sucking needs, and you are not using it while they are hungry i think it is perfectly ok. i went through a lot of guilt when i gave Jewely a paci but when i saw she willingy gave it up when that need was no longer a need i felt better. I used it mainly for car, stores or when i was doing something i needed to get done. when i could i held her and used my knuckle or finger or boob. don't feel bad about it though it's all good.

courtney

[birthjunkie27]

To be honest, I wish Samara would take a paci. She gags whenever I offer her one. It would be nice to not be a human paci once in a while. It seems like she's on the boob ALL day.

[Jeanne_L]

i started using one this week, too, and had been feeling a little weird/bad about it. for ds, we've used it in the car a couple of times (otherwise he's screaming) snd also when changing his diaper. that may sound weird but since day 1 he screames bloody murder when his diaper comes off. both dh and i were pulling our hair out... it was so stressful... we finally decided to try the paci- he wouldn't take it the first few times but yesterday and today we've had many peaceful diaper changes. (sigh of relief)

[Camellia]

This is a great little hand out on pacifier use. You asked about the cons, so I thought I'd link you to it.

http://www.wiessinger.baka.com/bfing...pacifiers.html

It sounds like you have been responsible in your use. It might be helpful to be aware of some of the cons so you don't slip into "over-use". I had been using them some with my twins and am trying to limit it to when I can only feed one at a time and the other is getting ansy for her turn. I really don't want my twins getting into a paci habit. I like to see their whole face and I get a sad feeling seeing children with it constantly stuck to their face.

I'm not even in your ddc. I hope you don't mind my chiming in.

[aisraeltax]

i generally avoid anything by Gerber, but the binkie Ethan has is made by them b/c it claims to be most like the nipple, and it looks kind of like it too. he wont take it often, but thought id let you know about that one in case you "need" one that he/she will take. i haven't tried the other ones b/c im really really scared of confusion.
rach

[ozzyemm]

I also use pacis with Michael. In the NICU, the nurses gave him pacifiers when he would start screaming, between feedings. They made us feel very guilty about it because we wouldn't let them give him formula, and he would cry until we got there to feed him. When we got out of the hospital, I almost threw that pacifier away. DH told me not to, and it has saved our sanity a couple of times. Sometimes Michael just wants to suck. Also, we travel up and down a mountain routinely. The paci is there for him to suck on to help him with the pressure change.

He tells us when he doesn't want the paci. He will just spit it out, and keep screaming. he very rarely takes the paci anymore; now that he knows I will always be there to comfort him, unlike in NICU. He does favor fingers over the paci, too.

I felt guilty about pacifier use, but now I know that, as long as I don't rely on it instead of being there for him the majority of the time, paci use is just fine.

[wawoof]

I look at it this way.. attachment parenting is all about meeting your child's needs...if your child NEEDS a pacifier then you don't lose your AP badge for using one!

:

I see nothing wrong with occasional pacifier use. I give Galen one if he's in his carseat and otherwise screaming his head off (and of course has been fed and has a dry dipe so I know those aren't the problem). I do worry a bit about nipple confusion, but I'm hoping we won't run into that with just occasional use. I'm trying to find the kind of pacifier we used for Ethan, because it had a wide base to prevent nipple confusion (it's the "newborn natural" one here - http://www.evenflo.com/pr/pa/prpa.phtml). Ethan seemed to prefer sucking on a finger rather than a pacifier. However, our midwife (this time) told us that yeast can often grow under fingernails, so finger sucking could lead to yeast infection. I'm totally afraid of yeast infections, so I prefer to use a pacifier rather than a finger this time...

[hunnybumm]

DS#1 took a paci, he still does at 2yo though we now have it limited to night time and nap time. We gave it to him in the hospital on day 2, not knowing it could effect BFing, luckily it didn't. However, if he wasn't nursing for food, he was sucking on the paci. When he was hungry he would spit it out and nurse, then he would cry at the breast until he got his paci back. I guess he was a high suck needs baby, I didn't have anything to compare it to, YK?

DS#2 won't take one. I have tried a couple kinds left over from when #1 was a newborn (boiled them of course) but he just gags and chokes and makes wierd faces. I think I am going to keep trying though because there are so many times he just wants to suck but he gets drowned in my feriocous milk supply. He chokes, and spits out the breast, then opens his mouth and tries to suck again. Pour thing.

[atozmama]

Thankyou for bringing this up. i have been thinking of a pacifier as from just a couple of days old, there has been times where Sam seems to want to suck and not get milk. I also am one with a boutiful supply. After reading this thread yesterday I bought a package of two at the store yesterday and they saved me a stresssful trip to Aric's school when he got sick and I had to pick him up early.

Aric gave up pacifiers at 4 months. Zoe started using them around 3 yo when she found some in the house while ella was a baby. We had a cross country move, and drive, coming up so I let her keep them. I was almost a year before we could "lose"them and she would not resort to her thumb. Now Zoe is driving me nuts wanting to give Sam a binky all the time. Last night she was so presistent and no mater how I explained it to her that binky's were a last reesort and that it was better for Sam to nurse, she insisted that he wanted one. ugh!!

[leahida]

DH and I broke down and bought DS a paci today -- We've boiled it but I'm kinda scared to use it! I feel guilty about the plastic, but the PP have helped me to see that it's not the end of the world if we use it, as long as we use it judiciously.

[afishwithabike]

Babies have a desire to suckle and not always feed. I don't think it is wrong as long as the latch is okay and you are not doing it to stave off hunger.

[leahida]

DH and I broke down and bought DS a paci today -- We've boiled it but I'm kinda scared to use it! I feel guilty about the plastic, but the PP have helped me to see that it's not the end of the world if we use it, as long as we use it judiciously.

[yellowwood mama]

Hi Ladies! I'm popping over from March to ask about brands for pacis. Which do you use? I'm thinking Avent. Thoughts? What should I look for? Thanks!

[IncaMama]

Ava has only liked Avent...and i use the term "liked" very loosely. all other pacis make her gag, the Avent ones only seem to gag or annoy her about 50% of the time. the only times she's sucked on one it's been the Avent kind.

they're all sooo different you should try different kinds.