Death of a Child Thread.........Post here!

[Chey's Mommy]

Hi.
I wanted to start a thread on the loss of a child. I lost my daughter 3 years ago to the inner cords of a window blind. Even after all the safety measures I took, tying up the pull cords and moving the crib away from the pull cords, she managed to form a loop near the bottom of the slats. www.pfwbs.org
I miss her so much. She was a twin. Her surviving twin is now 4 and full of questions. My older daughter witnessed the entire incident. She was 6 at the time and recalls everything. The pain is so hard to bear, what is the worst is seeing the pain my daughter and son have to carry.
I wanted to introduce myself and start a thread here for anyone who had lost a child. Tell me your story.
Cheys Mom

[Quirky]

I haven't lost a child but I couldn't read your story without posting. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby.

[mama4gals]

I have only lost children to m/c, and I can only imagine the pain you have been through. I just wanted to say how sorry I am, and send you .

Liz

[chasmyn]

Our first son was born with a severe (fatal if no intervention) heart defect. In his lifetime, he had three open heart surgeries, I can't even remember how many cardiac cathetars and a g-tube placement. He died after his third surgery when he was 2 years and 8 months old.

He was our hero. I will always miss him, always.

[melissel]

Oh mamas, my hearts breaks for all of you. I am so, so sorry for your losses.

Melissa

[westernmamomma]

Tears are streaming down my face after reading your stories mamas. I'm so sorry for your losses.

[patty_g]

My son was a few weeks past 5 when he passed away on January 16, 1997. Tomorrow it will be 9 years. He died of Leukemia. He already been gone for longer than he was here. Some days I bless the time passing and others I curse it. But I always miss him.

[wheezie]

oops, double post!

[wheezie]

Chasmyn, my heart just skipped a beat when I read about your little boy. My son had HLHS too (a heart defect for those who don't know). He had the first surgery when he was 3 weeks old, and then died about 12 hours after surgery. Like you, we had no idea anything was wrong w/ him until he was born. We didn't find out it was his heart until he was 2 days old-Thanksgiving day 2003. I'll never forget the words "We think it's his heart". My precious Ryan endured 2 heart caths and finally open heart surgery, only to die. I still feel guilty for putting him through all of that, but deep down I know that even if I could do it all over again, I don't know that I would do anything differently. I could go on and on about Ryan! I miss him so much, and can't believe that it's really been 2 years since he died.



patty_g-I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

And chey's mommy-what a terrible tragedy.

[chasmyn]

Wheezie - I know what you mean about putting him through it all, but you know that if you hadn't tried, you'd still be feeling like that only saying you ought to have done it....We can always find the what ifs and the should haves after. Part of the Mama guilt I think. I am so, so sorry for your losing your little boy. Quinn died in June of 2003, so its been almost as long since he died as he was alive. One more month and it will be so.

Chey's Mommy, Patti_g, I am so, so sorry, Mamas. My heart is with all of you. I weep every time I hear of another child dying. It is the worst thing that can ever happen, ever.

[applejuice]

I was six years old when my 33 month old daughter died next to me on the couch.

It is something that has always stayed with me, even as my own four children approached the magic age of 33 months...

I never lost a child of my own, but I still, to this day, miss my baby sister. I miss growing up with her and note her birthday and date of death each year.

. Life goes on, but I look forward to seeing her again...

[chasmyn]

applejuice, Can I ask what happened to your sister? I understand if you'd rather not say.

[rachelle-a-tron]

My Son Carson would be 8 years old right now. He died at 55 days old of SIDS, in my arms in the family bed.

Im holding all you Mamas in my heart...

[Mizelenius]

I'm so sorry, mamas.

Thinking of all of you.

[angelpie545]

Originally Posted by westernmamomma

Tears are streaming down my face after reading your stories mamas. I'm so sorry for your losses.

Exactly what I was thinking. Listening to your heartbreaking stories makes me realize how precious every minute that I have with my kids are. Thank you for sharing.

[cornflower_3]

*

[trini]

Hugs to all of you, mamas. I do firmly believe that our lives are richer and we are stronger because of the love of the children we have lost. I also KNOW that I will see my son again one day in heaven. If I didn't know that, I don't know how I would have survived the pain of losing him.

My firstborn son, Emmanuel, was stillborn at 38 weeks. I went to my OB for a routine 38 week appt. and he could not find a hb with the doppler. He immediately did an u/s. I knew before the doctor told me. That screen was so still. I was admitted to the hospital and induced. After laboring though that day, the decision was ultimately done to have a c-section. DS was breech and so tangled up in the umbilical cord that he could not descend. He was delivered at 4:06 a.m. on November 25, 2003 (Reva, the same day your dear Ryan was born). After years of infertility, being told I could never carry a child, a miraculous conception, and a nervous but very healthy pregnancy, holding my ds was the happiest and saddest day of my life.

I have since been blessed to conceive, carry, and give birth to our 2nd son who is now almost 6 months old. I savor every moment with him. In some ways the pain is even greater because I now know what I truly lost when Emmanuel died.

[chasmyn]

Mamas, each one of your stories brings tears to my eyes. My love to each and every one of you, my heart and thoughts to each and every one of you. I am so sorry that any of you has had to go through the kind of pain that I have had to go through, yet I am comforted that there are Mamas out there who know what its like. I hope to see my little hero again someday as well, and my new little precious boy is also what keeps me going.

[Chey's Mommy]

I am glad for all the responses to this thread.
I am glad to know that I am not alone in my grief.
I am sorry that you all had to experience the loss of a child.
I have buried my mother, and my father, nothing compared to the pain of burying my sweet precious daughter.
Hang on to your children ladies. You never know how long you got with them.
Life is a vapor.
Trini your post is so true. We are who we are because of our losses. I know I will see my precious daughter again one day.
As David said about his son........
2 Samuel 12:23 ......... I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.
Someday, oh someday I WILL hold her again.

GEL

[mama4gals]

Chasmyn, I read your story about your mighty Quinn, and it is heartbreaking. What a beautiful boy, and what a beautiful mama you are. I am glad that you have a precious new son. He will never replace Quinn, but he is a soothing balm to the wound left by the death of Quinn.

Many hugs to all you mamas who have lost children.

Liz