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at the risk of starting a fire here, do you think that spanking EVER works? - Page 5

post #81 of 87
[QUOTE=scubamamaIf we model violating others, that is what is reinforced as "right", no matter what our words say to the contrary .

Pat[/QUOTE]


I agree or at the very least, we are saying "well hitting is wrong, but inflicting that wrong is ok when the ends justify the means."

Do you really have any desire at all to teaching a child that hitting is a legitimte means to an end?

I don't. It is not at all what I want my child to learn. So how can "hitting" a child ever "work"?
post #82 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by maya44
I agree or at the very least, we are saying "well hitting is wrong, but inflicting that wrong is ok when the ends justify the means."

Do you really have any desire at all to teaching a child that hitting is a legitimte means to an end?

I don't. It is not at all what I want my child to learn. So how can "hitting" a child ever "work"?
I agree, hitting is not a legitimate means to an end. I am a pacifist. I "teach" that by modelling. The alternative belief is "might makes right".

With our thoughts, we create the world.~Buddha

Pat
post #83 of 87
My bolds:

Quote:
I am wondering why we WOULDNT talk about spanking as an option here on this board BECAUSE.....I think it's SUPER important to show mamas who are coming to this board for the first or 100th time that spanking is just not an option
See, it's confusing

I don't have time to read every post at this time, but I wanted to address this MDC advocates the belief that its the parents' responsibilty to nuture the positive rather than to curb a child's tendencies toward "negative" behavior, it would be inconsistant with MDC's mission to ever present spanking as an option. In this forum, spanking may be discussed, but not advocated nor presented as a tool in the GD toolbox. No matter what circumstances.

Hope that clarifies?
post #84 of 87
There is a permanent thread with all the pertinent anti-"spanking" arguments and a multitude of links. Moms who are on the fence or whatnot about it can easily find this thread to get a feel for the position that is advocated by MDC. Those links and the info in the sticky go over all of the common reasons for thinking that hitting children is a good thing to do or that it is sometimes a necessary or effective means of disciplining them.

I think that MDC is in the right to conclude that there is more than sufficient proof (readily available in that sticky) to rule out hitting children as an option. What is the point in continually going over the exact same arguments with newbies or regular members who are thinking of hitting their children? Who is to say which views will be taken from a given thread if MDC allowed posters to support hitting children? How then would MDC be different from other parenting websites? Many would not listen to the rock solid arguments that are readily accessible in the sticky (or bother to read them) and would just continue to post pro-"spanking" sentiments at every opportunity. Others might be confused by the hub-bub of pro- and anti-"spanking" sentiment, oscillating between the two views (not keeping all the info in the sticky in mind). Some may benefit from the discussions and come out of them with a greater anti-"spanking" resolve, but this would be done at a cost to those who take home the pro-"spanking" sentiment contained in the threads (wittingly or not) -- and to their children. I see little benefit and great risks of opening up the discussions at MDC to allow more voice to pro-"spanking" sentiments.
post #85 of 87
The Gentle discipline forum guidelines don't condone the use of physical discipline. Please see posts #69 and #83 within this thread for clarification. Here are the posting guidelines which are on a sticky at the top of the forum.

Quote:
Welcome to Gentle Discipline. This forum has a specific aim: to help parents learn and apply gentle discipline methods in raising their children.


Quote:
Effective discipline is based on loving guidance. It is based on the belief that children are born innately good and that our role as parents is to nurture their spirits as they learn about limits and boundaries, rather than to curb their tendencies toward wrongdoing. Effective discipline presumes that children have reasons for their behavior and that cooperation can be engaged to solve shared problems.

Hitting is never the best way to teach a child. Even in the case of real danger - as when a child runs out into the road - you can grab him, sit him down, look him in the eyes, and tell him why he must never do that again. The panic in your voice will communicate your message much more effectively than any spanking. You can be dramatic without being abusive.

'Natural Family Living' by Peggy O'Mara



Please appreciate that this forum is not a place to uphold or advocate physical punishment of children. Personal preferences for and encouragement of use of physical punishment are inappropriately posted here. Posts of that nature will be edited by the member upon request or will be removed.
Please feel free to discuss your problems and needs with the intent to learn more about Gentle Discipline.


Pat
post #86 of 87
Deleted.
post #87 of 87
Seriously, does it take more than 2 minutes on MDC to realize that NO ONE here advocates hitting children, EVER for ANY reason!
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Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › Gentle Discipline › at the risk of starting a fire here, do you think that spanking EVER works?