I need to whine! - Page 2

[Yulia_R]

Originally Posted by pycelan

She apologized and said that she did not mean her post the way it sounded...she felt as though she was trying to help. After she apologized, noone said anything except to continue to attack/reprimand her. I just think that everyone could have given her a little bit of a break. She is new here, and I would be surprised if she posts on the entire site again because I am afraid this experience has left a bad taste in her mouth. I think everyone could have at least given her a "that's ok...thanks for apologizing".

Pycelan, thanks so much for your warm words even though as far as everybody’s concern I do not deserve them because I did not apologize. Well, that is true, I did not apologize. I just was trying to explain that I didn’t mean to hurt anyone and I did mean my words as words of help. At least they would be help for me. If I have hard time and people around me were just telling me how sorry they were and there was indeed a good reason for me to feel bad kind of a deal, with all due respect I could not call it support, because it never ever works as support for me. If anything, at does the opposite: it gives me even better reason to be sad, feeling pity for myself and whining about the world being so unfair to me.
On the other side, if somebody would have said (well, actually somebody did say and I was endlessly grateful for that later on) kind of what I said, it DID help a lot. And now I’m having a wonderful baby boy and looking fearless in the future where I will have to face my infertility again.
So, you girls are right, there was no apology in my words, there was an explanation though which everyone just seemed to ignore.

I’m going to post in many other places, as I do like the site a lot and would never give it up because of a situation like that. But, boy, it does feel so good that you cared about me posting or not. Thanks !!!!

I feel bad that I had to leave infertility forum, after all this one was probably the most interesting for me, but I still love reading and posting on “Breastfeeding, Find Your Tribe, Cloth Diapers, Health, Illumination Communication, Co-Sleeping and some others”. See you there!

[pycelan]

Originally Posted by Yulia_R

Pycelan, thanks so much for your warm words even though as far as everybody’s concern I do not deserve them because I did not apologize. Well, that is true, I did not apologize. I just was trying to explain that I didn’t mean to hurt anyone and I did mean my words as words of help. At least they would be help for me. If I have hard time and people around me were just telling me how sorry they were and there was indeed a good reason for me to feel bad kind of a deal, with all due respect I could not call it support, because it never ever works as support for me. If anything, at does the opposite: it gives me even better reason to be sad, feeling pity for myself and whining about the world being so unfair to me.
On the other side, if somebody would have said (well, actually somebody did say and I was endlessly grateful for that later on) kind of what I said, it DID help a lot. And now I’m having a wonderful baby boy and looking fearless in the future where I will have to face my infertility again.
So, you girls are right, there was no apology in my words, there was an explanation though which everyone just seemed to ignore.

I’m going to post in many other places, as I do like the site a lot and would never give it up because of a situation like that. But, boy, it does feel so good that you cared about me posting or not. Thanks !!!!

I feel bad that I had to leave infertility forum, after all this one was probably the most interesting for me, but I still love reading and posting on “Breastfeeding, Find Your Tribe, Cloth Diapers, Health, Illumination Communication, Co-Sleeping and some others”. See you there!

Yulia,

Glad you answered. That was just what I was about to post. No you didn't apologize, but you did state that you had posted your opinion, did not mean to hurt anyone's feelings, was just trying to help, etc. I saw that as a peace flag, not a reason for everyone to continue to attack you.

Anyway, enjoy Mothering.com...

[peilover010202]

OTMomma - to you. I have not played the infertility game, but have had too many friends who have. It's affected me deeply for them.

I think your post was very clear and very well-written.

I am one of the women you hate, I have conceived easily each time. And, I thank God for that. I know that all too easily, I could be in your shoes - and maybe next I will be, so I never waste a moment taking it for granted.

I just wanted you to know, that this board is a place for you to feel safe. For you to vent, share your concerns, frustrations. We've all experienced trials in our life and this is a great place to learn or cope with them.

I also wanted to note your low progesterone. Have you ever conceived? If you have, but it's ended in miscarriage, asking your dr for progesterone supps for the time from AFTER O to AF and then if BFP, through the entire 1st trimester can be VERY helpful for some women (me included.) And, if you haven't conceived before, maybe dh could be checked out (sperm analysis.) I'm sorry if you weren't looking for suggestions, but it's hard for me to not try to help

[OTMomma]

I have concieved before- actually my first child was concieved the first month we tried with no problems. Which for me makes the choices of what to pursure with fertility feel more complicated- because I know my body has done this before. I know all the body parts are there, and all those kinds of things, and it was with the same dh. We concieved during a very stressful time in our lives- so blaming stress doesn't seem fair at all either. I am taking B vitamins to help my body make more progesterone- though the month I had the blood work done was only one month after weaning my dd, so I sort of suspect that my hormones may not have been even normal for me that month.

And I don't really hate people who concieve easily, though I do get really really mad when I see others with babies who don't apprecitae them. That is one thing I love about MDC, all the moms here really do love their babies and try to do the best for them, so I can't resent that.

[djs_girl517]

Even though the child you have is with the same DH, have him checked. It's fairly cheap, and not a big deal. My DH has three children from his first marriage, but his morphology is so bad now we will likely never be able to conceive naturally.

[OTMomma]

Thanks for the tip Jamie. When I saw my OB, she did write orders for dh to have an SA, we just haven't gotten around to it yet, but I might push him to do that sooner.

[peilover010202]

OTMomma - I know you don't hate me I know it's the circumstances right now that are frustrating you. And, yes, I bet your p was low if you had recently weaned. Though it might be worth checking out again.

: that things will happen soon for you. Don't loose hope, I just had a friend who conceived after 21 months and 6 months of Clomid. This was their month off, and next month had planned to start IUI.

[Becca'sMama]

Oh, girl, can I totally relate to your rage. I feel everything that you wrote. I am still sitting here crying as I type. Thank you for putting yourself out there. There ARE people who can relate to what you are saying. Hang in there. We've been ttc #2 for 2 1/2 years now and it is hard. I've had friends pass me up twice!!!!!!!!!!! So, they've got 2-3 kids and I've got one.
Not that it is a race or contest or anything, but it still hurts.
Here's my advice, push dh to get that SA. It might be him. Everyone thought it was me because I am overweight but we have a male factor that we are dealing with. Get him checked out and let us know. (((hugs)))