i wanted to tell you how important i think the work you are doing is. it is an enormous tribute to your daughter. i found this thread by chance today, and had to respond, i didn't want to be a lurker and not comment. my daughter died nearly a year ago, not from a vaccine, but from causes unknown, possibly an infection, and she died only hours before she was born. i remember reading about your daughter, and sierra's bears. i wanted to share this experience with you... when we had to see the funeral director to make the arrangements for my daughter's funeral, we chose an infant casket that came with a small brown stuffed teddybear. i didn't know it until the wake, which was to be the last time we would be able to spend with her- we held her and gave her specials things we chose to stay with her in the coffin. there wasn't enough room in there for the teddybear that came with the coffin, so we kept the bear with us to put with her other things that we would keep to forever remind us of her and her life and death. i was so distraught and in shock and totally out of it after she died so unexpectedly, my reacton was to push my family away until i could accept her death. when my mom finally came to be with me, i was able to share with her our daughter's photos, her lock of hair, and many other things that had by now become sacred items that were all we had left of our daughter's life with us. one of these things was the teddybear from the coffin. i told my mom about the coffin and how it came with this bear, i guessed maybe to give the baby who died something to keep them from being alone in the coffin, or maybe for the parents to keep as a momento, or to hold to comfort them in absence of their baby. at this point, my mom collapsed onto the floor of the nursery and melted to tears. her mom had given birth to a son a few years after she was born, and he died shortly after birth, due to -rh factor(?). in those times, babies that died before, during or after birth were quickly 'forgotten' (yeah, right...)- their parents were encouraged to move on and pretend it never happened. can you imagine??? i cannot imagine the pain that my grandmither must have went through, having a baby and then having him die, and to be expected to act as if nothing had happened. knowing how I felt after my own daughter died, well, i just cannot fathom how my grandmother lived her life after such a tragedy. her son was NOT named, and was buried without ceremony, without notation, without anything he deserved or anything his parents who loved him dearly wanted deeply to give him. my mother held this teddybear in her arms and cried for her brother, who had NOTHING when he died, for her mother and father, who had NOTHING when he died. her heart broke for her little brother, her family, and for other babies and their families who may have nothing to have or hold when such a horrible tragedy takes place. i sat next to my mom on the floor and we cried for my daughter (her granddaughter) and her brother (my uncle). we held this bear and thought of him. many months later, i read your story at your website about sierra's bears and it made so much sense to me, and made such an impact on my life. you have done so much to help other families that are struggling with such sadness, have filled an emptiness that may have gone on forever if not for your forthought and care, all in honor and in love for your daughter sierra. believe me, your actions do not go unnoticed. the brave work you are doing to bring to light the risks of this vaccine, well, it is remarkable. exceptional. thank you. my grandmother left her hospital shortly after the birth and death of her only son, and her arms were empty. because of sierra, and your compassion and love and care and action, it didn't have to be that way. and for so many families, it hasn't. i am so sorry that sierra's birthday came this year with such quiet. i know that all of the moms who post in the pregnancy and infant loss board would have loved to give you a hug that day, and light a candle for sierra... one of my biggest fears after my daughter died was that she would be forgotten. she would have turned one year old on the 21st of march. so i send to you a belated birthday wish for sierra, and a warm and thankful cyberhug to you. i hope you are well, and i wish you so much strength and clarity on the road to bring light and truth to the world about the vaccine that took your daughter's life.
: for your family always.
