advice for breaking the news of death to DD

[seedling]

Brief situation: My DH's grandfather move here about three months ago to a facility close to the in-laws. My FIL has visited him every day. Since we are all close, DD (who is almost 5) has had lots of interaction with Great-Grandpa for the past three months. She LOVES him. It's really been a blessing to watch her relationship with him develop and she just really really likes him.

Well, he has had a very rapid decline. He was recently hospitalized and has just declined very very quickly in the couple of weeks he has been in the hospital. The doctors are "just keeping him comfortable" at this point. My DH went this morning to say good bye to him.

So, we have to talk to DD about this. We are Christian and will definitely include that point of view in our talk with her about what is next for Grandpa. For those of you who have dealt with this type of thing before, can you recommend books for 4-5 year olds that deal with this issue? Do you have suggestions for our talk?

Thanks!

[MsChatsAlot]

Our funeral home had some good information about talking to kids (age appropriately) about death.

When my dad died, I was just honest with my kids. I told them he died. They asked a million questions.

I first thought clearly about everything I believe, then I shared it in a more simplistic and honest way with them.

They continue to ask questions a few years later.

[rachelle-a-tron]

I would really try to be straight forward & honest with her. My Grandfather, who I was very close to & was one of my very best friends, died January 27th of last year & my Son Chase, who was 5 at the time, held his hand as he took his last breaths. Chase kept touching him after he had died & saying, "Papa is cold." We were very honest & took care of him the last few weeks when he decided to quit dialysis... it was hard but I wanted Chase to see the cycle of life & to see how it wasn't bad or scary.


Good luck Mama & please accept my condolences & prayers.

[seedling]

Thanks for the replies Mommas. We are talking to DD this afternoon. DH has wanted to take the lead, thus the hold up. I got some wonderful picture books from the library this afternoon. Plus have driven past the graveyard a few extra times lately which always prompts a discussion about death. Again, thank you.

[lisamarie]

Books are great and there is a wonderful resource here in the Grief and Loss Forum about various books for both kids and adults. Everyone here has had wonderful and gentle advice. Honesty is best, not to say that your kids won't have questions as they grow and mature. My heart is with you as you and your family is in this season of grief.

Much Love~

Lisa