or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Single Parenting › The dating thread returns!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

The dating thread returns! - Page 3

post #41 of 185
Quote:
Originally Posted by skj474
Havent been on a date since Sept 2004!!!!!!! Think I need to get out??

Got you beat I left DS's dad Thanksgiving 2003 and haven't been on a single date since. How sad am I?!?

Zoesmummy- you and I sound a lot alike. My DS's dad was my first, like, everything (from kiss all the way up to first child ). I have never been with another man, never even kissed another man.

Writing that makes me sound like such a loser I swear I'm not ugly. I don't even smell bad (well, except with my darling son pukes on me ).

post #42 of 185
Jilian....I too joined singleparentmeet.com and found that alot of the guys were really on there for only one reason so I got a little discouraged. There were a few who were on there to find someone they were compatible with, but I found no interest. After about 2 months, I recieved a message from a guy about 2 hrs awayy from me and we started talking by email, then AIM, the phine and then finally after a few months we met. Well I got my happy ending. I moved into his house with him and we have a 20 month old son to add to the three boys he had and the two gorls and a boy I had. I just want everyone to know to not get discourage because you will find someone and I truely believe now that there is a happy ending out there for everyone. I ccouldn't imagine being with anyone else and I had a few rocky relationships before him including with my ex-husband.
post #43 of 185
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jilian
Yeah, I spilled it one day when he made me mad. I said something along the lines of "Well at least I'm not joining porn sites advertising myself as long and thick and in search of a hottie who likes sex" He was floored that I knew. The look on his face was priceless. I wish I had taken a picture of his face
:
post #44 of 185
Thanks for the happy story Andrea!

I'm on singleparentmeet.com also but have found mostly older guys (like, way older guys). I did find one guy who seemed cool. We've been doing messages for a few days but I came on today to find his answer to my simple question. I asked something along the lines of if you had a weekend free to do anything what would it be. His response? "Spend it with you" :Puke Kinda cute but no. I wasn't sure how to take it (he so far hadn't seemed to be only interested in sex so that one threw me for a loop) so I just mailed a little blush smilie. Next step is his.
post #45 of 185
StephandOwen, I found that the guys were pretty blatant when they wanted sex. I never got an answer like that. I hope all goes well for you. I think guys are more complicated than women and not the other way around cuz you never know whats on their mind
post #46 of 185
Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen
Got you beat I left DS's dad Thanksgiving 2003 and haven't been on a single date since. How sad am I?!?

Zoesmummy- you and I sound a lot alike. My DS's dad was my first, like, everything (from kiss all the way up to first child ). I have never been with another man, never even kissed another man.

Writing that makes me sound like such a loser I swear I'm not ugly. I don't even smell bad (well, except with my darling son pukes on me ).
hah!! got u beat. went for my last happy date with ex in sept 2001. got preggo in dec 01. stopped being frisky march 02 as it was too painful. and nothing since. no dates NOTHING!!! and guess what. the higher power i feel was having a laugh on me. everytime my dd nursed even today i feel uhmm frisky. so i got u beat steph. though i think mschatsalot is the queen here in this matter. though i havent exactly been looking either.

and my ex was my first too - even kissing. neither have i been with another man or even kissed another man. and i am 41. how sad is THAT!!!

and the worst thing is i feel like a loser because i get attention from the wrong people as if i have freaks welcome written on my forehead.
post #47 of 185
LMAO! Okay, you win for now meemee. Once MsChatsAlot shows up we'll see if she can beat you I'm feeling a little loserish (hehe... think I made up a new word tonight) because the only guys who seem to be attracted to me are at least twice as old as I am. One was almost 3 times as old as I am
post #48 of 185
LOL steph. arent we such losers comparing who's been the longest without dates. at least u dont attract the drunks, drug addicts, without jobs guys (havent done anything online - just around in person). its one thing to be given a compliment which i welcome even from homeless guys. its sweet no mattter who is giving it. but when u have those scary looking guys whom i would NEVER trust around my dd - u wonder what's going on.
post #49 of 185
Thread Starter 
You mamas aren't "loserish" you're just taking time to heal and to deal with what is most important to you right now, your DC. I think it is respectable when a woman saves herself for the right person. You mamas rock!
post #50 of 185
Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee
at least u dont attract the drunks, drug addicts, without jobs guys
You just described my ex But I'll give him a little credit- he does have a job and has had the same job for over 3 years now. Unfortunately he told his mom last week he thinks he's going to get fired because he's a drunk. I swear to you if he gets fired I will personally kick his ass because I CANNOT afford rent/food/etc without the child support.

I think I'm just so paranoid since I had Owen that I think any guy who even looks at me the wrong way is a serial killer I know, I need to loosen up. Maybe someday.
post #51 of 185
That reminds me, Jillian, where did our abstinate thread go? Must search that one out and bring it back up
post #52 of 185
Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen
I think I'm just so paranoid since I had Owen that I think any guy who even looks at me the wrong way is a serial killer I know, I need to loosen up. Maybe someday.
about ur ex. about CS. hope it doesnt come down to that.

for me the thought is child molestor if he is in anyway wierd in my books!!! u know evil wierd.
post #53 of 185
Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee
for me the thought is child molestor if he is in anyway wierd in my books!!! u know evil wierd.
For me it's not so much that, because I know I would never ever leave DS with someone else until I really truely knew them (like, after we were married). I'm just paranoid like that. I don't leave DS with anyone outside of family though, only my mom once for less than 5 minutes (not that I don't trust my mom but she's got 2 other young kids and is pregnant so it's not like she can chase around my DS), my dad a handful of times- no more than an hour or so, and my sisters once for like an hour (they made me go to Toys R Us! LOL!). And, of course, his dad when he shows up (which is rare and never for more than 3 hours). Man I'm going to have a hard time when he has to go to school Wow was that off topic.
post #54 of 185
my fear is what if i am one of those gullible moms who dont see the molestor in him and marries him and doesnt discover teh molestation till the teens. not good fear for dating!!!
post #55 of 185
True. So true. I think we can all agree that dating is much harder after you have kids. Before you only had to worry about you (and if you were like me you didn't even really do that). Now you have your kids to worry about.
post #56 of 185
skj ... I'll take you out!

Or at least, we should get together sometime.

meemee ... craigslist has a "purely platonic" or some such thing where you can seek out both sexes for friends. My brother uses it and likes it a lot.

Jilian ... thanks.


AAAAND .... someone from myspace messaged me this morning and we chatted a while ... and my book group met tonight at a place he'd mentioned he frequents and so he said he'd been thinking of going by anyway, and we made plans to meet after the group, and we talked nonstop for like 90 minutes.

I feel like a 16 year old, which is probably a good thing. Not a date, precisely, but we'll be getting together again, and I really enjoyed his company. I'm a dork but it made me happy. Dating sounds like a lot of fun ... not at all wanting a relationship for both practical (time) reasons and emotional (need time for me) reasons, but it makes me happy to feel like someone "likes" me.

~Kristi
post #57 of 185
BelovedK (I think thats who I'm responding to ) ... I have never been married, so that was not what was wrong with my profile! Also, I WANT a relationship that has the potential to be serious, and lead toward marriage... so I would prefer to use eharmony over match.com or something. I don't know what was wrong with my profile! They don't even tell you... they just reject your profile!

Thanks for the support, everyone. I'll just keeeeeep trying to be more approachable. I bet everyone thinks I'm a stuck up b***h too. I'm really not, I'm just SO..... socially anxious or something.

To the person who asked about why I'm shy: um...... I'm really not sure. A lot of people didn't like me in elementary school.. maybe that has something to do with it. I've always known that I'm shy, and lived in my sister's shadow sometimes. When I see people with the potential of meeting them? I freeze up, COMPULSIVELY. Thats the worst of it. It is a huge effort to make eye contact sometimes. On the other hand, I have no problem speaking with a cashier while I'm buying something, or asking an employee a question in a store... I donno.

And about my age: I'm 22, so yeah.... I'm sure my baby usually scares guys off. It really sucks (although I'd be happy to find an older guy.... )
post #58 of 185
Kristi~ how does this myspace thing work? Can anyone see your profile/space?

Oh and that one date in Sept 04, well that was the only one since Aug 03...
post #59 of 185
Hiya ladies! I agree we're not loserish even if we aren't out in the world! But hopefully we'll all have good luck.

So I got the courage to talk to the guy from match, we'll call him M, on the phone last night. It was pretty nice...we have a lot in common and similar values/perspectives. I'm especially glad to hear more about his kids and relationship. His daughters go to a Waldorf school!! And they had homebirths and cloth diapered, etc., so I think there's probably other similarities as well (like extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, etc.) That's really reassuring to me. He also says he'd never move far from his kids, and seems to really value how his choices effect them, also important to me. One thing that bothered me a bit is his divorce isn't final yet...and I don't know quite how I feel about that. But apparently they've been separated a year. What do you all think?

The thing I'm most nervous about at this point is: we've both had a similar relationship history (starting seeing our exes young, got serious and immersed ourselves in the relationships immediately, haven't really dated much outside that...and both our marriages ended.) and I don't want to follow the same mistakes. So when he said he'd be busy tonight because he has his daughters and is celebrating ones BIRTHDAY, I tried to stress that he shouldn't worry about talking to me...just enjoy it. But then he said, "Well, after they go to bed I don't have much else to do..." So we'll see. I think I'll clarify this concern to him in an email.

eharmony...well, after you ladies talked about it a bit, I decided to check it out. It seems, well, pretty conservative. Or perhaps traditional would be a better word. They did accept my profile, but I don't really like the info you get about potential matches. For instance, I'm somewhat a Christian, but only a very liberal/non-literal sort, so when someone they thought I was a match to writes, "I want to be with a woman who submits to God and her husband," I'm !!!! NOT what I would be interested in AT ALL. So perhaps they don't understand us very well...

I'm trying to stick with the free stuff/free trials, because I don't want to invest any of my very thin cashflow on this...I'd rather save it for babysitters if it gets to that point. And I'd hate to feel that I (or anyone I contact) is seeking a return on their investment, kwim?
post #60 of 185
It has been so helpful and entertaining reading this thread And I have deecided that I am done browsing and talking to men online...not just that I'm done "looking" for a realtionship period.

Why I have been going against my instincts that tell me I am not ready, I dont know but writing it here helps it be concrete to me that I promise myself, I am not going to spend anymore energy on this. Not that I wont be reading about your dating experiences
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Single Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Single Parenting › The dating thread returns!