help

[mysticmomma]

We are stuck. Right now I'm trying to sell some diapers on ebay because we only have $.01 in our checking account. DH gets paid Thursday, and that has to go to Jan. mortgage that hasn't been paid yet. We are almost out of laundry detergent. What can I use when that runs out? baking soda? We're out of tp and pt, so we have gone all cloth everywhere in the house. We're also almost out of dishwasher detergent. We have very little food in the house, and make too much money to get any kind of assistance without lying. We also both have no gas in our cars... how do we get to work?! I have no idea what to do. We're trying to sell our house, we have the IRS creating a lein against our property because of oweing back taxes, and we have about 5,000 in medical bills going to collections because our insurance company retracted all of their payments related to my daughter. It was state insurance, and we have spoken to supervisors out the wazoo, and they don't have her in the system, so without hiring an attorney... we're stuck with those bills too. Suggestions?
Trish

[Snowdrift]

I'm so sorry you're in such a tight spot.

About the medical bills--this is probably something you've already tried, but have you tried negotiating with hospital/doctors? When I was in hospital as a teen my parents were billed like 10k, but negotiated it down to several hundred dollars. They showed that they were inusred, that they were paying premiums, but that for whatever reason insurnace wasn't covering costs. This was a private hosp; religious hospitals are even more likely to have adequete funds to cover your bills.

[root*children]

(((((mysticmama))))) hugs to you!! I hand wash my dishes all the time without any soap. When we're in a really tight spot, I've gone w/o laundry soap, too. They aren't quite as clean, but clean enough. Are you SAHM? I'm wondering b/c if so and DH is the one going to work, can he just find a carpool or temp. ride and offer to pay half the gas once he gets paid? Do you know anyone who needs a babysitter? temp help in a daycare,e tc... so you can make some extra money?

That's all the suggestions I have for now. I'm sure others will jump in with great suggestions about the bigger bills. Also, are you sure you make too much to qualify for any assistance? Even WIC? Doesn't hurt to just call to the WIC/Food Stamps office to find out what the income requirements are, and if they offer emergency temp. assistance.

[root*children]

Oh, also you should call any larger churches in your area and ask if they have or know of any food pantry's. They don't require proof of income and will also have practical things like TP, etc. If you briefly explain your situation they will probably have advice on other sources of emergency help.

[aprons_and_acorns]

First of all, What you are describing certainly qualifies as a crisis.

Water alone will do a decent job on your clothes and dishes. Don't sweat the lack of detergent right now. As for food, are there any emergency food banks you can visit? I know of some private ones in our area that you don't have to go through much if any screening to use. They are open to anyone and serve a lot of families like yours who don't qualify for assistance but are in a food emergency.

Can you catch a ride to work with anyone? You could even fib a little and say your car isn't starting if you are embarrassed about your lack of gas money. Just make sure you don't ride with someone who is going to expect gas money from you.

Do any of your friends or family know that you are out of the basic necessities for a month? Are you willing to tell people that you are experiencing a financial crisis (at least a short term one, nevermind about the back taxes and hospital bills) Many a time I have invited over a friend's family to eat with us because I knew they were struggling with putting food on the table. I would certainly open my pantry to a friend who needed toilet paper, soap, and other basic items. Sure we are struggling too but that is what it means to have community.

Also, the local domestic violence agency here receives WAY more donations of household items than they could ever use for just for their clients. You know all of those folks who save hotel soap, bottles of clearence shampoo and things like that to donate to the women's shelter? They pretty much have an open door policy to give away that kind of thing to families in crisis without any screening process. My dh used to work at the agency, and then a few years later when he got laid off from his current job they called me up with an "errand" they wanted me to run, and when I stopped in they gave me a humungous bag of soap, shampoo, diapers, toilet paper, razors, laundry soap, pads, you name it. It barely fit in my car. It was very helpful.

Does your community have a crisis hotline? My dh used to work at the crisis line and people in your kind of situation (out of food, out of basic needs with several days or more till payday) called a lot. He was able to connect them with resources to help.

Take care, mama. I hope this helps.

Edited for being repetitive and redundant

[supercrunch]

we were where you are just a few weeks ago, and we don't qualify for assistance either. Definitely seek out a food bank. A quick internet search for one in my area turned up a great one. They will give you enough food to make 3 meals a day for 3 days...and you can go twice a month.
If you call around to a few churches, they should be able to direct you to where you can get help.

take care, mama!!

[supercrunch]

oh...I just noticed your location
let me see what I can find for you

for starters...once you get a little fundage under your belt, sharedc has locations in Baltimore ( http://www.sharedc.com ) is a great way to get a decent amount of food for a great price. We would get 2 shares a month for $33 and we could usually make it last 2 weeks.

and here's a link to a lot of food banks in your area
http://www.dhr.state.md.us/food/food_bc.htm


I'll be back if I can find other sources of help for you

[KimberMama]

I'm sorry you're in a tough place. The only good thing about it is that you'll emerge stronger and wiser.

I recommend going through the house and selling anything and everything you can think of. Post FS lists here. Ebay will take too long. You can also see if your paper has free classifieds; many offer 3 lines for 3 days if the item is less than $50. You can take jewelry and other things to pawn shops. It's tough, but I remember my mom selling her gold class ring when I was a child because we needed to eat.

Churches and food banks will help you. You have to call and ask. Don't assume that you don't qualify.

If you sell a few things and can buy food go super cheap! Buy rice and beans. When I was growing up there were nights we had popcorn for dinner. Not the most nutritious, but we're all still alive. Corn tortillas can be dirt cheap, at most 2 cents each. Cabbage is cheap.

Hang in there.

[Steady101]

Put an ad up on your local freecycle asking for food or canned goods. I have seen a few of these up before when people were having a hard time and people were very generous and gave lots of canned foods. Your clothes get 95% clean without soap. They will be fine without it until you can get more. Make sure you leave yourself enough diapers. You don't want to have to buy disposibles.

I agree with a pp too. Try and sell anything you can here first. You won't have to deal with ebay fees and all that jazz. Plus it takes longer to wait for auctions to end.