Mamas who already have 2+ babies...

[ashcox]

Did you feel a little bit sad leading up to the birth of your second? I know I'm just being pregnant and hormonal, but I've gotten so weepy about everything DD and I do together. Last night we were folding towels and I just started bawling and told DH that I was sad because DD wouldn't remember it just being the 3 of us. I just adore this child so much and I feel like we might have made the wrong choice to have kids this close together. But intellectually I realize that we're not taking anything away from her, but giving her the gift of a sibling which is really a precious gift, but I still feel sad.

Today I've been wanting to hold her all the time and she keeps telling me no, that she can walk, or that she wants to sit by herself on the couch and I realize that's just being a 2 year old, but it kills me because pretty soon I'll have another baby to hold too and not as much time to devote just to her. Anyone else feel/felt that way? I realize it's all pretty irrational. And don't get me wrong, I really am excited about this baby, but up until this point DD and DH have been my whole world. And I felt like this to a degree too when DD was born because DH and I had only been married a little over a year when she was born, but she obviously didn't take anything away from our relationship, just added so much more. And I know that's how it will be with this baby, but I guess I just needed to express it to someone female who'll understand. Sorry about the rambling!

Ashley

[coloradoalice]

I totally understand where you are coming from. I am really sad Gracie won't remember stuff from before Ian arrived and I am mourning the loss of our little intimate world. But, it's all working out really well too. She is so sweet to Ian and watching her just melts my heart. I know they will be great friends and I have given her a wonderful gift in having a sibling. I miss her being my only baby, but she will always be my baby no matter what!!

[LoveMyLil'B]

I felt the same way while I was pregnant with my DD. I think a lot of it hormonal. The good thing about a newborn, is that they don't do very much, so you still have time to spend with your older child. My DS sits with me while I nurse DD, and he loves to touch her head and tells her she's a sweet baby. I wouldn't trade those moments for the world! The hardest part for me was while I was in the hospital and I didn't get to see him much, and then when we came home he had a cold so I tried to keep myself and the baby away from him as much as possible. I so desperately wanted to hold him and kiss him, but since DD was a preemie, it was just too risky, so DH took care of our DS during those few days. But now everyone's well, and I try to make it a point to put DD down sometimes and just hold and cuddle DS. He's still a baby too. I also use my sling to carry DD around the house so my hands are free to help DS.

You're right, you are giving your DD the gift of a sibling. Having them close in age means they'll have a playmate, and share secrets, and DD will get to be the leader and have someone who looks up to her. And long after you and your DH are gone, they'll still have each other. I hope that thought doesn't make you too emotional.

[Nature]

The hardest part for me is that the day I went to the hospital, dd2 was so small to me. She was my little baby. And now after coming home, though I know she hasn't changed and she's still my little baby.... she seems so big! Its like she grew in front of me, yet her size didn't matter to me before. I held her without thinking "gosh you're big" even throughout my pregnancy. Suddenly I'm having those, "Ugh, you're too heavy to carry" thoughts and they make me feel so guilty.

I'm tandem nursing, so that helps to create a continual bond there. And the love that she has for her sister is amazing! No jealousy at all, just sheer love and gentleness. When she holds her hand or strokes her hair while nursing, it takes everything i have not to cry in happiness. I too make it a point to put the baby down so I can hold dd2 and also nurse her without her sister sometimes. (today more than the baby actually)

[ashcox]

Thank you so much for the sweet replies. I knew that you mamas would understand. You helped me to feel much better about how I'm feeling. And I know I'm just being hormonal. I really felt silly writing that post, but I stayed up all night thinking about this. I think they're going to induce me in the next few days if baby doesn't come and that's adding to the emotions too. I think maybe I can go take a nap now without dwelling on this. Thanks!

Ashley

[ehsclt]

Ashley,

Yes, I had those feelings before DD was born. Dread, in fact. I felt that I'd made a terrible, selfish mistake, thinking I could have another child and still be the mother I wanted to be for DD1. And, although there were some hard times (DD1 never cried a lot, but she cried more after the baby came along and her needs couldn't always be met immediately,) I soon realized, for the reasons mentioned by the pps, that having another was ultimately a great gift for all of us, DD1 included. I don't have any of that guilt about bringing a third child into our family (I am more worried about my own needs this time. )

Just wanted to chime in and say that your feelings are the normal feelings of an attached mother AND that, yes, hormones play a great role, but they are also legitimate feelings on their own.

Still hoping your labor begins soon and you can avoid induction!! Hugs to you!

Emily

[Willowrose]

I think what you are feeling is totally normal. I bet anything the feelings will dissolve when you see your older DD interact with her sibling. When I see my boys and the love they have with their sister it melts my heart. They keep making me promise that she isn't going back in my stomach
You will feel much better when you see that sibling bond.

[ashcox]

Thank you again for your stories. It's so nice to know what you feel is normal. That's what I love about MDC. Just found out that yes, I will be induced tomorrow, but I still think I'm going to go into labor on my own. I think I'm just starting to get anxious about knowing what it will be like. Oh, and DD has a stomach bug. I was planning on taking all of us for a nice relaxing dinner tonight but now we can't since she's sick and she has to go to my parents tonight and it's just adding to my weepiness. I know everything will be better tomorrow though, once I start having an idea what life will be like.

[ehsclt]

I was very weepy the day I went into labor with Maeve, VERY weepy and emotional.

I'm excited for you, Ashley, and will watch for your new baby post! Hope the birth goes great!!!