Do you ever feel like people are hoping you'll "fail" in your birth plans?

[newtonscricket]

I'm 37 weeks pregnant with my fourth baby. The first three births went great, each one better than the last. All were in a freestanding midwife-run birth center.

So, of course, my plans are the same for this baby... birth center, no intervention, home soon.

I must say, most of the people in my life, friends and family,are very supportive, whether or not their birth preferences or outcomes are similar to mine. But a few times I have gotten a definite vibe from someone that I don't "deserve" yet another good birth, or that the time for my comeuppance is due. I am not smug about my success in natural childbirth and in fact rarely talk about it unless asked, because I don't want to come off as smug.


La,la, la, putting on headphones and listening to my Hypnobabies "Bubble of Peace" meditation.

[turtlemama77]

I had a number of people smile condescendingly at me last time around when I talked about wanting a pain med free birth. Their comment was usually something like, "Well, you try that, but you'll want pain meds before it's over!" I suspect some people just have a hard time being supportive and positive, maybe because they had bad experiences and are upset that it doesn't have to be that way.

I hope your birth is fabulous!

[Jilian]

Originally Posted by turtlemama77

I suspect some people just have a hard time being supportive and positive, maybe because they had bad experiences and are upset that it doesn't have to be that way.

I agree. When I was preg and mentioned wanting a natural childbirth some people came right out and laughed in my face, saying "Yeah, talk to me after your birth and you'll have a different story" NOPE, I did have a natural childbirth. I was offended by these comments until I realized that it may have had more to do with their own birth experiences.

[pixiexto]

An acquaintance and I were pregnant last year at the same time ~ her son was born 3 weeks before our daughter, and they had planned a home birth but ultimately ended up going the induction/hospital route.

A week after our daughter was born, I ran into my friend's husband. We exchanged hello's and his first question was "Was she born at home or the hospital?" When I replied that we'd had a home birth, his face crumpled in disappointment. His tone of voice had been hopeful that it had NOT turned out well for us.

This was the most "in your face" experience that I've had. More often, I get the message that I'm lucky to have had two home births. Not in the sense that I am fortunate (which, of course, I do feel fortunate), but that I got off lucky. Does that distinction make sense? It's pretty hard to take, but I don't allow it to bother me anymore. People come to these conclusions often because it helps them to resolve things for themselves and their own experiences.

[Thmom]

I get this frequently, I've had 5 unmedicated, unmessed around with births, not totally painless but completely fulfilling... totally normal and natural... just like I knew they would be... anyway I think it stems from the idea that if you somehow had this marevelous birth... either you were lucky (an easy "out" if you've only had one or two) or there is something wrong with them. I notice people tend to get real defensive about the interventions and drugs they had, justifing them, like there was a special reason they needed it and I didn't... I suppose that maybe true in some cases, but I think in most it has to do with not being informed, educated and decided about the path thier birth would take.