Back, with a vent and a plea for good vibes

[crittersmom]

Well its been busy at my house for the past couple of months.We took a 16 hour road trip to Ca. for Christmas and it took a while to get my house back inorder.Now I have to get it back in order for the baby. I've been nesting like crazy, to the point that I have had to restrain myself from not tidying up my next door neighbor's driveway( we share a driveway so it wouldn't be that crazy, really.....).
I've been doing great blood pressure wise, really well.( I usually have to take meds for it when not pregnant and got turned down for a home birth because of it).I have to go in twice a week for (stressful) non- stress tests and fluid checks in addition to regular check ups.Its a good thing I live so close to the hospital( less than five minutes) since I feel like I live there.
I need good vibes though.Up until yesterday my DH was told he didn't have to be gone right before my due date.(hes in the Navy and they have an out of state exercise planned a week before).Yesterday he was told no.Some of the many reasons this upsets me is that last month one his shipmates was allowed to stay behind for his wife, no problem.Another guy isn't going on the upcoming exercise (that my DH has been truned down for and isn't essentail for).Both ladies are not considered high risk and both have/had families to be with them.I am considered high risk, at any of my appts I can be told I have to check in and have the baby.I have plenty of people to watch my other children while I am at the hospital but no one to go in with me and help make medical decisions if I can't.I need someone here with me before I am told to have the baby or I go into labor, not after the fact.My last labor was 2 hours so I really need someone from the start.I also was induced 10 days early last time around and at my last couple of appts they have been antsy about the heart rate.I will be really shocked if I have this baby even close to the 21st.
My only chance is to get in contact with one of his superiors on Monday and convince them of how wrong they are.This my third baby DH has been to one appt out of the 3 and he was delpoyed during my last birth and I ended un being alone then too.I don't want to do that again.
Please think positive thoughts that I get thourgh on Monday.
Thanks!

[krizty]

I'm Air Force, so I totally understand your needs as far as the military is concerned. It makes me mad too when the military does stupid things like that. Sometimes they overlook the needs of the spouse. Maybe addressing your concers to the superiors will not work? Have you tried talking to your doctor about it? Sometimes if you address your concerns to the doctors they can pull more weight than just you saying "I need help". Is there a deployed spouse's support group you can join? A lot of those women are going through the same things you are. They need the same support that you are asking for. Your dh might not be deploying, but you can get active in the support group. Maybe just volunteering to help out you can make great friends with the other women in his unit.

[damyen's mommy]

s I'm sending all the good vibes I can muster. um... have you ever considered hiring a doula. THe one I hired has a sliding fee and often works for little to nothing if the momma's can't afford one. I know there is a program for doula's who volunteer to support momma's who have partners in the military I just can't remember the site.
I hope everything works out ok. NO one should have to be alone while they give birth. I will be holding you hand long distance and rooting you on for a healthy happy baby and a birth that goes smoothly.

[CajunMama]

Originally Posted by damyen's mommy

NO one should have to be alone while they give birth. I will be holding you hand long distance and rooting you on for a healthy happy baby and a birth that goes smoothly.

I couldn't have said it better. We will be cheering for you, mama.

[Preciousfaerie7]

I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL!!! my husband left at the beginning of this week for a 3 month deployment.. he will complelty miss the baby being born.. Shed due the 18 of Feb. I have no one to drive me to the hospital no one to drive me home.. My mom lives with us but she is disabled so its going to be super hard for me to get her in and out of the car while in labor.. But i am determined to do it.. The military is suck an ass... They told us at first that there was NO WAY he would have to go.. 2 months before they changed there minds... ASSHOLES>.. Ugh.. wow that felt better!!! But maybe he wont have to go i'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

[Preciousfaerie7]

BTW i just noticed that we both live in WA... He wouldn't happen to be station in Bremerton or Bangor could he?

[EllasMama]

Amen, amen, amen to "no one should have to be alone while they give birth." I don't care how low or high risk a woman is, she has a right to have a good support person available every hour/day. Best wishes and good vibes comin' your way.

Carol

[ChiaraRose]

Hugs, hugs, hugs to you, mama. I was an Army wife for too long and I know how it is to be always alone for everything
Can he try to talk to his direct superior or something. I mean a birth is so monumental, I know a guy who they let to come home for two weeks from Iraq.
I am sending you the best vibes and I will think of you Monday, maybe one of the heardheads shows some compassion.
Hugs again,
Liane

[crittersmom]

Thanks for thinking of me ladies!
Preciousfaerie7 yes he is at Bremerton.
Gotta go enjoy this sunlight before it fades for another month.