Good age to walk home from school w/out parent?

[mamato2boys]

We live a 1/2 mile from the school; it is on our street. My son is in 3rd grade; almost 9yo. Usually my younger kids and I walk half way, to a point where we can see the school. Sometimes, though, my youngest is sleeping when school gets out. He hardly ever naps and I hate to wake him, so 2x my son has walked home alone. We discussed the possibility before it happened. He walks with 2 friends until our block where they turn onto another street; then he walks the rest by himself--past 6 houses.

Is this way too young?? I worry about if the boys he's walking with are not in school then he's walking be himself, or that they are messing around on the way home, etc.


Thoughts??

[ikesmom]

I toy with the idea of letting our ds who is 11 walk home. There are other children walking home for most of the route so I doubt she would be alone. Then I remember circumstances that happend to me as a child and teen. Thank God nothing tragic ever really happend. For now I have to say no,. We don't live in a quiet neighborhood. There has been robberies, car theft, and strange people who walk around. If I could make a agreement with some of the other kids walking and their parents I might consider it. I would want her to call me to come pick her up if her walking buddies were not available. Sometimes I will drive her friend home and the mom will reciprocate with us. Maybe you could share that with another parent?

[TOmom]

I share your concern - my dd is in grade 4 and occasionally walks to or from school by herself (2 short blocks). I go to the edge of our property and watch her come or go - there is just a short distance that I can't see her.

Could your son call you from school if he finds himself with no one to walk with? If he walks with the other children until your block could you time it so that you are outside watching for him to come down your block while your other child sleeps inside?

I think it's important for children to have some small freedoms but there are dangers out there. My daughter knows that she is not to stop for any reason even if someone asks her for help or a neighbour talks to her. She is to tell them that I am expecting her home - if they are good people they will understand and not think her rude at all. In nice weather she rides her bike and I feel more comfortable letting her ride home alone because she can go quicker but then there is the fear of accident - it never ends!!!

[oldcrunchymom]

I do not think 9yo is too young. If you live in a non-violent neighborhood, I wouldn't worry about it. I and most people I know were walking to and from school from grade 1 on. Statistically, there is no more crime now than there was when we were kids; it's just reported on more.

We live in a poor but very safe small town, and my 10yo walks to the store and back (about 1/4 mile each way) by himself; he also walks from my daughter's dance studio to our home, again about 1/4 mile. I would have no problem letting him walk 1/2 mile alone, especially if it was on the same street and to a specific destination (e.g. your house).

If you want peace of mind about it, perhaps you could try "following" him (with his knowledge that you are doing so) from far behind and see how he is at navigating "the street."

[Mary-Beth]

I remember walking myself home from school since Kindergarten...not that that's what you or I would choose to do. I guess it depends on your child's maturity and the neighborhood. Some kind of buddy system would be ideal. Or taking turns with another parent to meet them.

I think 9 might be old enough...what does your gut say?

[Alkenny]

My 10 year old/4th grader walks home from school alone, bikes to the store and his baseball practices etc. (started that 2 summers ago, he was 8). We live in a small, low-crime town though too.

[Kirsten]

Sounds fine to me. It is a straight shot from the school to your house. He walks most of the way with other kids. He is only walking alone past six houses. I assume you live in a decent neighborhood - no crack houses on the route? If he is a responsible kid, I would absolutely let him do it.

My nine year old dd1 recently has been allowed to ride her bike to the park with a younger neighbor girl. She takes a Motorola pager (Costco) with her and we keep one at home - so she can "call" us or vice versa. It is seven blocks, straight shot.

My kids also ride the bus to and from school. Bus stop is two blocks up the hill. When dd1 was a kindergartner, 1st grader, 2nd grader I didn't let her ride as it was more of a hassle for me to sit at the bus stop with a toddler, often in the rain, waiting for the bus than it was just to drive her to school. When she was in 3rd grade - and the neighbor girl was also walking the same route - we let her ride the bus home. So no waiting for the bus to come, just hopping off and walking straight home. Now in 4th grade they (dd2 is in kindergarten now) ride it both ways so they do wait there in the morning. It is not in my line of sight but they are together and we kind of eased into it with the riding home thing last year.

Start slowly - with what you and ds are both comfortable with and build from there. What helped me was to remember that when I was ten, I was riding my bike miles from home and gone for hours and hours - with no pager or cell phone or anything. We had more responsibility as kids, were given more freedom. I know bad things can happen. But I think bad things happened when we were kids too. I want to do what I can to keep my kids safe while still letting them be kids. Walking home from school is part of being a kid. I'd let him.

[MillingNome]

Sigh- I remember walking home from school and it was just under the one mile range. If we had lived one block further out, we'd been able to catch the school bus. Half the year it was ok. The other half was horrible. Keep in mind this was before global warmimg set in and there were still nasty winters in Minnesota, kwim? We walked along a very busy, tight street. No one messed with me on the way home though... probably because out of the seven kids that walked that far, I was the only girl. I think if he can understand the dangers and follow some strict rules, with you knowing when he is going to be walking alone, it could work. OTOH, I know Oprah has done this a couple of times- she did a mock set up to see if the kids would fall for a would-be abductors ploys. For a surprising number of them, I recall they did. Not good. We always walk such a fine line of letting go and keeping safe! And without hindsight, it is impossible to say where to draw it.

[Teakafrog]

If you live in a safe neighborhood and have discussed traffic safety with your child to a point where you think he understands how important it is to watch for cars and stuff, and he knows to stay away from strangers, then yes.
Our son is walking this year, and he is 9. We live about 8 blocks, and it is a very sleepy little suburb though, so we feel he is safe. There are also about 100 other kids from our neighborhood walking at the same time so they can look out for each other.

[spin462002]

Only one comment, research has proven that children under the age of 12 cannot cross any road safely unsupervised.(and some even older ones can't do it safely either) It is about brain development, not training or common sense or drilled road rules. Please never give other young children responsibility for your children crossing the road. It is our responsibility until they prove they can do it safely alone.

The risks are real, the consequences may be fatal. If there are no roads to cross, great!

I am super careful since hearing of a tragic accident recently. Nine year old walking home with two class mates. (all girls) they crossed at traffic lights but half way across the "stop walking now" started flashing.The little girl turned to run back to the kerb she had just left just as a poor driver turned the corner. How the driver lives with that is beyond my imagination, the little girl died at the scene.

Children are our precious gifts, they aren't safe on the roads unsupervised either on bikes or on foot before they are at least 12 years old.

L

[mamato2boys]

Thanks mamas!

We're going to continue with meeting him 1/2 way when possible for now; but we are going to have him walk home alone when my little one is napping or if we're sick etc.. I did follow him home twice and he did fine. We live in a small town that I view as fairly safe. He crosses the busier street (busier b/c of more traffic, but still 25mph) with the crossing guard. After that he does cross two more streets, they are four way stops and I think they are safe. Plus he gets home before the high school kids get out of school (it's on our street too) which is good b/c they tend to drive faster : If he does good with the 1/2 way walk and occasional full walk this year; he'll walk on his own next year.

Thanks