Oh I just lost my previous post. :mad
I have a small window here so here goes again.
heather! Thanks for checking in with us so we can hold you in our thoughts during this rough patch. I'm so sorry. I have a few others thoughts but I'll send them by pm.
Isn't there something interesting in the way in which this discussion on mindfulness and intentionality in relationships has led many of us to an awareness that we need to spend less time here, to nuture those relationships? That was convoluted but it's like saying we're in the process of working ourselves out of business.
Thanks so much for that visualization, Breathe - I could've used it last night during a particularly hard 4am wake up. She just wanted to play, and at night that involves lots of standing and then falling in the general direction of my head. Ouch. I got so irrationally angry. Taking inner visual distance would have been incredibly helpful in that moment.
Sophie's first birthday is nearing (the 21st) and this has me thinking about the baby days ending, and so it's easy to enjoy/savor/ be awre of small moments, the curl of her hair, the shapr of her toenails, etc. But in spite of this gratitude I do forget about the breath, all the time, and this week I'm really trying to slow down.
It's crazy because we're on vacation this week, and still I'm rushing and anxious. Like many of you have written, when I do pay attention to the breath, I realize that I've been gulping in panicked shallow breaths for no reason. There is a change in my whole body when I slow the breathing down. My anxiety or rushed pace is probably the number one threat to my relationship w/dh. He is so conscious of how his negatively impacts us, and I want to live differently with him and with all of the relationships in my life.
One other thought on breath: I have peace activist friends who when charged by the governement with "conspiracy" (planning together) for some action or another, will talk about the work of con-spir-acy: breathing-with (con
ith, spir:breath). We do tap into a powerful unity as human sisters and brothers when we breathe together, at a communal sitting meditation for instance. I have these bizarre little mental images sometimes, and one of them is of world leaders sitting on mats breathing together for an hour. After the tolling of the bell to end the session, wouldn't it be harder to harbor mistrust and emnity for one another?
That's it for now.