I need reasurance, badly.

[ShelleyMom2in2]

Please someone, anyone tell me he doesnt remember being circumzised. My son is 28 months old and was circumsized at 7 hours old. I regretted it frrom the moment I saw what a circumsizion was (so if you are here to bash go away) Today he came out of the bathroom (he has recently potty learned) and he had left his underware and pants by his potty. Eh, no big deal in this house. He sat down on the sofa sideways and started looking at his penis. Then pulled his skin a little and pointed right at his scar and said 'ouch-ouch' oh God I could cry. I feel like Ive died. I asked him if his penis hurt there and he said 'ya' he is speech delayed (about 12 mos) but his receptive speech understanding is that of a 5 year old. so I know he knew what I was asking. Please someone tell me he couldnt possibley remember being strapped down and circumsized.

[mattemma04]

Some people say they or their children do remember things that occured when they were very young. When your son is older you can take the time to explain why you choose to have him circumcised.Most children accept it and move on.

[Quirky]

Maybe he is talking about a current pain and you're hypothesizing that he's remembering his circ. It's more than possible that he's got a little irritation, or a small adhesion, or something else that made his penis hurt a little in the here and now. So don't assume that because his penis hurt NOW he's remembering his circ. That's just too big a leap based on the conversation you've reported.

[veganf]

He is most likely seeing something that looks like it should hurt, and saying 'ouch'. Heck, when I mention 'the scar' to my husband, he kind of looks hurt and winces, though he doesn't have any conscious recollection of it happening to him (though it's enough to make him never want to circumcise any son of his!).

- Krista

[bri276]

exactly, I think he probably realizes what a scar is and that's why he called it that. what's done is done, mama, and he has had 28 months of loving care that outweighs the pain he did go thru. certainly I'm not a circ advocate but don't torture yourself, everyone does make some mistakes.

[Slabobbin]

What's done is done mama, you can't change time, you are better educated now - cut yourself a break.

[SneakyPie]

Even if the true memory exists (and *please* don't beat yourself up about the possibility), it doesn't mean he's actually reliving it when his penis hurts. Also, he would never think, especially this young, that YOU had anything to do with the circumcision -- other people, not his beloved mother, are the ones who actually handled him and performed the act. It sounds like you are a mother who was not given fair and true info about circumcision beforehand, so although it was not done to your body it was, in effect, an act of violence that the medical profession did to you as well. Just 7 hours before the circumcision he was a part of your body.

[Acksiom]

Even if he does remember it, try to keep this in mind: what we consistently hear from restorers who talk to their parents about this subject is that if the parents take responsibility and agree with and validate their sons' feelings, their sons not only forgive them, but even come to feel much closer to and more loving towards their parents. I've seen restorers report this over and over and over again.

Also, right here on this board, we've seen quite a few parents report that when their sons grow up enough to understand what was done to them, they seem to feel much more concerned about other boys at risk of this, or harmed by it, than they do about themselves.

Finally, Mommiska kindly bumped this about a week and a half ago, but just in case you didn't see it then:

http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...d.php?t=157594

Also, this might help: http://www.123eft.com

[njeb]

Originally Posted by Quirky

Maybe he is talking about a current pain and you're hypothesizing that he's remembering his circ. It's more than possible that he's got a little irritation, or a small adhesion, or something else that made his penis hurt a little in the here and now. So don't assume that because his penis hurt NOW he's remembering his circ. That's just too big a leap based on the conversation you've reported.

:

[calngavinsmom]

Sounds to me like he was just looking at his scar(probably still a bit discoloured compared to the rest of his penis right?) and relating that he thought it looked like an ouch ouch. Maybe comparing it to other cuts or scrapes he has had on his body and called them the same thig? Or like it has already been said, maybe he did hurt it a bit. Maybe scratched it with a fingernail or something? I wouldn't worry too much about it.

And as far as your regrets go, when you know better you do better Momma


Tara

[hummingbear]

no bashing here

I am so sorry that you were taken unawares about circumcision. I hope you can find forgiveness for yourself in the midst of your anguish. The past is written but the story is not finished. Surely your compassion is a good thing.

Maybe he does and maybe he doesn't remember the pain. Who is to know? Maybe it is just more sensitive there right now.

[hummingbear]

repeat

[hummingbear]

repeat

[Galatea]